XXL Rates MTV’s VMAs
Once TV’s most entertaining award show, MTV’s VMAs have received lukewarm reviews in recent years.
Back with a relatively unknown host (to Americans), Russell Brand, MTV attempted to revamp the VMAs on its 25th birthday.
Host (M): It’s not that Russell Brand was that bad, the comedian’s “junky British humor” as one of our staffer would say, was just a bit too out of place for the average VMA viewer. The ambiguous hair-do, pirate-like wardrobe and excessive sexual cracks didn’t help either.
Performances (L): Had it not be for performances, last night’s telecast would have been a total yawn. Weezy did good (twice), but Rihanna (twice) and Pink stole the show, turning in electrifying performances complete with extensive stage props.
Awards (L): So Britney, who coincidentally bombed as last year’s opener, conveniently wins the first moon man of her storied career and wins a total of 3 to lead all winners. Did we mention MTV ran a Britney Special recapping the singer’s VMA history hours before the show’s broadcast?
Skits (L): Jonah Hill (Knocked Up, Superbad) and Britney Spears’ dressing room interaction definitely made for some of the night’s funniest moments.
Presenters (L): Demi Moore was a nice surprise until she forgot her mic and walked the wrong way to announce the next award. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Mc Lovin) turned out to be an unexpected highlight when he confessed, “I’m so trashed!”
Overall Awards Show (L): The show wasn’t that bad. It just wasn’t that good.
Missed the VMAs last night. Well, before catching the rerun coming onin the next half hour, see our staffers’ play-by-play of last night’s award show.
Light: Ok, who is Russell Brand??
Jackpot: All I know is he looks like a pirate.
Light: With this Euro dude and scary Russell B. I feel like it’s a glorified Lifestyles of the Headbangers Ball.
Jackpot: Britney is looking good. She looks sane.
Nessa: Go Britney – glad she got her shit together. Wish she rocked the short hair and some point.
Light: I was waiting for her to stumble off the stage…and for the record, she didn’t open the awards!
Nakedwithsockson.com: Did Rihanna get thicker? Them thighs looking King worthy?
Light: TV puts on 10 lbs. In all the right places. Her hair looks like Pepe Le-pew’s!!
Nessa: I like Rihanna – did u hear about T.I. fighting. C. Brown during rehearsal?
Light: Nope! You mean T.I.P. was fighting right?
Light: Russell B. “Dude looks like a laaaady!!”
Nakedwithsockson.com: Whoa! Pause! I can’t watch this guy all night. Is he wearing hip huggers/nut huggers? And I wanna hear English not whatever he is speaking.
Jackpot: For real! I have to say “pause” after anything that comes out of his mouth, pause. Has anyone figured out what his pirate looking ass does yet?
Nessa: My friend says he’s a comedian from Britain – ex drug addict – in recent movie — that’s all I got.
Light: Why is the back of his hair standing up?
Nakedwithsockson.com: I stopped watching let me know when that guy is off air…By the way Russell Simmons > Russell Jones > Russell B
Jackpot: Russell Crowe > Russell B… Kurt Russell > Russell B
Light: Wayne raided Samantha Ronson’s closet!!
Chope: Did somebody say Wayne & Sam Ronson are now going out? I’d like to start that rumor.
Nakedwithsockson.com: Wayne had to make sure his cup handler came.
Light: Best Female Video-Rihanna.
Nessa: Britney – seriously? Is that how they got her on the show?
Jackpot: Apparently this is Britney’s first VMA ever. At least according to some special I saw today.
Light: Wack way to get it.
Light: When did we cut to Sesame Street??
Jackpot: Goofy ass Michael Phelps can so get laid with a celeb tonight.
Nessa: The milli dollar man….
Light: Marshmello Mouth Phelps is in the building!!!
Jackpot: Where’s Wayne’s shirt? Is he bout to swim?
Nessa: White pants after labor day.
Red: No shirt? This isn’t fair. I need cable.
Davina: Yo, tell me if I’m wrong but did Wayne get a lip piercing?
Light: That would be crazy if he did…
Jackpot: I think that’s actually a lower cheek piercing.
Light: Cheek is a “pause” word, regardless. He’s in Dennis Rodman territory if he’s piercing.
Jackpot: “On some faggot boy ish, call him Dennis Rodman.”
Nakedwithsockson.com: Who got the DVR to rewind and verify the cheek (pause) piercing
Davina: I am going to bet I saw some kind of piercing for a hot second. He has officially crossed over to hipster central.
Nessa: Yes he does have lip ring with stud instead of hoop I am blown away.
Jackpot: Who is this individual on stage now?
Light: If you talking about yellow pants, I’m feeling him…er, her.
Nessa: I can’t deal with yellow pants girls.
Datwon: Is that Kathy Griffith??
Nessa: Hahahaha! Kathy Griffin.
Jackpot: I guess she finally got off the D list.
Jackpot: Who wants to bet that the studio version of this Kanye song is auto-tuned out.
Chope: I made it just in time for Ye…he’s talking about “Lockdown Love?” P.S: Rappers stop singing.
Light: Ok, he really is singing…waiting for the hot 16.
Nessa: Drums r hot. Inspired by Olympics opening? Is this about the ex? “Lost the only girl in the work that know me best.”
Jackpot: That was about his mom.
Light: Mom inspired?
Jackpot: Not this particular song, but the line v brought up from “put on” was.