XXL Rates MTV’s VMAs

Once TV’s most entertaining award show, MTV’s VMAs have received lukewarm reviews in recent years.

Back with a relatively unknown host (to Americans), Russell Brand, MTV attempted to revamp the VMAs on its 25th birthday.

Host (M): It’s not that Russell Brand was that bad, the comedian’s “junky British humor” as one of our staffer would say, was just a bit too out of place for the average VMA viewer. The ambiguous hair-do, pirate-like wardrobe and excessive sexual cracks didn’t help either.

Performances (L):  Had it not be for performances, last night’s telecast would have been a total yawn. Weezy did good (twice), but Rihanna (twice) and Pink stole the show, turning in electrifying performances complete with extensive stage props.

Awards (L): So Britney, who coincidentally bombed as last year’s opener, conveniently wins the first moon man of her storied career and wins a total of 3 to lead all winners. Did we mention MTV ran a Britney Special recapping the singer’s VMA history hours before the show’s broadcast?

Skits (L):  Jonah Hill (Knocked Up, Superbad) and Britney Spears’ dressing room interaction definitely made for some of the night’s funniest moments.

Presenters (L): Demi Moore was a nice surprise until she forgot her mic and walked the wrong way to announce the next award. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Mc Lovin) turned out to be an unexpected highlight when he confessed, “I’m so trashed!”

Overall Awards Show (L): The show wasn’t that bad. It just wasn’t that good.

Missed the VMAs last night. Well, before catching the rerun coming onin the next half hour, see our staffers’ play-by-play of last night’s award show.

Russell Brand & Christina Aguilera…

Light: Ok, who is Russell Brand??

Jackpot: All I know is he looks like a pirate.

Light: With this Euro dude and scary Russell B. I feel like it’s a glorified Lifestyles of the Headbangers Ball.

Jackpot: Britney is looking good. She looks sane.

Nessa: Go Britney – glad she got her shit together. Wish she rocked the short hair and some point.

Light: I was waiting for her to stumble off the stage…and for the record, she didn’t open the awards!

Rihanna Performing Live…

Nakedwithsockson.com: Did Rihanna get thicker? Them thighs looking King worthy?

Light: TV puts on 10 lbs. In all the right places. Her hair looks like Pepe Le-pew’s!!

Nessa: I like Rihanna – did u hear about T.I. fighting. C. Brown during rehearsal?

Light: Nope! You mean T.I.P. was fighting right?

More Branding…

Light: Russell B. “Dude looks like a laaaady!!”

Nakedwithsockson.com: Whoa! Pause! I can’t watch this guy all night. Is he wearing hip huggers/nut huggers? And I wanna hear English not whatever he is speaking.

Jackpot: For real! I have to say “pause” after anything that comes out of his mouth, pause. Has anyone figured out what his pirate looking ass does yet?

Nessa: My friend says he’s a comedian from Britain – ex drug addict – in recent movie — that’s all I got.

Light: Why is the back of his hair standing up?

Nakedwithsockson.com: I stopped watching let me know when that guy is off air…By the way Russell Simmons > Russell Jones > Russell B

Jackpot: Russell Crowe > Russell B… Kurt Russell > Russell B

Light: Wayne raided Samantha Ronson’s closet!!

Chope: Did somebody say Wayne & Sam Ronson are now going out? I’d like to start that rumor.

Nakedwithsockson.com: Wayne had to make sure his cup handler came.

Britney Wins Best Female Video…

Light: Best Female Video-Rihanna.

Nessa: Britney – seriously? Is that how they got her on the show?

Jackpot: Apparently this is Britney’s first VMA ever. At least according to some special I saw today.

Light: Wack way to get it.

The Jonas Brothers Perform…

Light: When did we cut to Sesame Street??

Phelps Introduces Weezy…

Jackpot: Goofy ass Michael Phelps can so get laid with a celeb tonight.

Nessa: The milli dollar man….

Light: Marshmello Mouth Phelps is in the building!!!

Jackpot: Where’s Wayne’s shirt? Is he bout to swim?

Nessa: White pants after labor day.

Red: No shirt? This isn’t fair. I need cable.

Davina: Yo, tell me if I’m wrong but did Wayne get a lip piercing?

Light: That would be crazy if he did…

Jackpot: I think that’s actually a lower cheek piercing.

Light: Cheek is a “pause” word, regardless. He’s in Dennis Rodman territory if he’s piercing.

Jackpot: “On some faggot boy ish, call him Dennis Rodman.”

Nakedwithsockson.com: Who got the DVR to rewind and verify the cheek (pause) piercing

Davina: I am going to bet I saw some kind of piercing for a hot second. He has officially crossed over to hipster central.

Nessa: Yes he does have lip ring with stud instead of hoop I am blown away.

Light: Guess he ran out of skin for tattoos…

PCD Wins Award…

Who are them chicks standing next to Nicole Sherzinger?


Jackpot: Who is this individual on stage now?

Light: If you talking about yellow pants, I’m feeling him…er, her.

Nessa: I can’t deal with yellow pants girls.

Datwon: Is that Kathy Griffith??

Nessa: Hahahaha! Kathy Griffin.

Jackpot: I guess she finally got off the D list.

Kanye Closes The Show…

Jackpot: Who wants to bet that the studio version of this Kanye song is auto-tuned out.

Chope: I made it just in time for Ye…he’s talking about “Lockdown Love?” P.S: Rappers stop singing.

Light: Ok, he really is singing…waiting for the hot 16.

Nessa: Drums r hot. Inspired by Olympics opening? Is this about the ex? “Lost the only girl in the work that know me best.”

Jackpot: That was about his mom.

Light: Mom inspired?

Jackpot: Not this particular song, but the line v brought up from “put on” was.

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  • Pierzy

    The show was wack. I’d give it an “S”

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Wayne has a guy to carry his styrofoam cup?

    • nah.man

      bitch thats MACK MAINE!!!!

  • 239allday

    I give it an “XS” for extra smedium.

  • Oneofthemyo’s

    My opinion…
    Russel B. was funny as hell 2 me especially clowning them gay ass jonas brother “thats like superman being able to fly and taking the bus” if u a fucking virgin(oxymoron) y u broadcasting it with chastity rings and shit.

    Mtv tried to brainwash us, but I know britney still a ho,that whole night was rhiannas,tips performance was good could’ve gave a lil bit more energy, I heard about the lip piercing by wayne I really wasnt looking that hard though his music cool but I think he trying to tell errbody something…pink and christina could get it.. u know for white girls,

    I liked kanyes shit u know u big when mtv on your dick hardbody,ne-yo could’ve gotten the dance award,Phelps cool but even though he’s not american Usain bolt would’ve been a good look, nigga hella lively,another high point was jamie foxx clowning t.i aka c.brown smacka, overall shit was aiiight but fuck britney and vote obama word to russel b.

  • http://xxlmag.com Philly215

    this show was wiggidy wack and the host was annoying and wack and i think that’s Mack maine holding wayne’s cup smh at him being wayne’s bitch but he Fonzworth bentley did the same for Diddy and he famous so you never know

  • Simple like ABC, 123

    Sleeping > the VMA’s 2008

  • http://www.myspace.com/friscorepresenter ant

    This show sucked but that new T.I song is hot

    I doubt t.i. And chris fought he was standen up amped when they performed

    Paramore is the shiznit

    This show sucked

    My GIRL got the same piercing as WAYNE

    Sagging tight ass pants is even gayer then haven a stud in your cheek

    I wanna have wild sex on the beach wit leona lewis

  • http://www.myspace.com/friscorepresenter ant

    O yeah the host wasnt that funny i do remember him from forgetting sarah marshall tho

    Lol @ jonas brothers sesame street performance

    I woke up 1 mornen and them niggas was everywhere where did they come from?

  • Worley

    VH-1 Hip Honors>>>>>>>>>MTV VMAs

    • Worley

      VH-1 Hip-Hop Honors that is.

  • http://1290wmcs.com “The Party Killa”

    This SHIT was bad(NOT BAD MEANING GOOD EITHER)Im glad I DVR’d this shit to skim through it…..This auto-tune shit is getting out of control, niggas in SKINNY jeans(wut da fux), Mary J in the Hip Hop category, Alicia Keys in none of the best R&B(all the other Bitches cant even sing)STRAIGHT UP…..Someone call Chuck D, Bambata. It’s getting out of control!

  • TheCo!!inB

    Phelps is the real life version of McLovin…..and I blame wayne’s nut jockers for that lip piercing, cause someone had to cosign that shit…….and kanyes suit was the same suit Hopo wore the night Ms Sophia came to check him out at the Juke joint, chuuch

    • http://xxlblocktalk.com DT the E.I.C.

      The Co!!inB
      Kanye’s Harpo suit! Funniest shit I heard all week…and it’s Monday.

  • Penelope Rodriguez

    I didn’t sit there and watch the entire show. I refused. I only saw Wayne’s performance, and I was pissed off watching him. This nigga is walking aorund wearing tight pants saggin off his ass. No one wants to see that. And he got a lip piercing, thinking that it’s cool for a MALE to get a lip piercing. That shit does not fly with me. I hope that dudes don’t start getting lip piercings, but you know who these kids be, lol.

    The VMAs have not been hot since 2002 or 2003. I loved the 2003 VMAs. Chris Rock killed it that year! I used to get hyped for this awards show, but now it is wack. With this year’s artists, the show would feel too long, since I didn’t really like anyone. The show felt mad fake. Besides, I had to study for my classes, so an awards show would be a waste of time anyway.

  • geico lizard

    i flipped between this and the colts/bears game so i guess i didnt miss much during the commercial breaks. GO TENNESSEE TITANS!!!

  • King B

    Yes Tom Brady is out for the season!!!! source awards>>>>>all awards show

    • 619

      Patriots fans are scared as fuck right now. They’re trying to make it sound alright by saying they still won the game, but c’mon they only won by 7 against the sorry ass Chiefs. They’re in serious trouble. They get rid of their best player on defense in the offseason, Asante Samuel, and now they lose their best player on offense. Cancel Christmas.

  • Simple like ABC, 123

    Hurricane “Ike” > MTV’s VMA’s Awards

  • shawn

    kyle boller > mtv awards but t.i. and lil wayne did good


    i didnt catch da show but, i hope wayne didint get no facial piercing. dats pretty gay.

  • 619

    In the picture where he’s holding the award Lil’ Wayne looks homeless. He needs to lay off the drugs. T-Pain with the Abraham Lincoln hat and the blonde streaks in his dreads looking like a tarantuala climbed on his head. These fools look like they got dressed for a Halloween party.

  • niggafrommemphis

    All but the grammys,they need to get rid of all award shows,besides,the music they represent ain’t hittin on shit.

  • Mikey F Baby

    Yellow pants, you’d be referring to Paramore. and they kick ass.

  • nellz

    Only highlights 4 me were paramore, pink, and wayne
    Lip piercings..ehh…he’s been hangin around travis of gym clss heroes too long.

  • Hold Tight The UK Garage And Grime… UK I Rep Thats Me When I Rhyme!

    Russell Brand is very funny. You didn’t give him a chance cause he English. He made more money last year than all of you put together in a year. So some respect! Just ’cause he don’t dress like 50 Cent! He kinda looking liked Wayne dressed like that… but you’re all on his dick?

  • http://xxlmag.com d money

    That shit was straight up wack except my nigga tip

  • capcobra

    the show was wack.wack.wack……a wack for every award brittney spears was given…how the fuck did that happen?….normally kanye would be whining by now…but i guess he auto tuned his crying this year and closed the show wit it….fuck mtv/bet/ozone/source/vibe/and the rest of the award shows…..soundscans and trophies don’t got shit to do with hip hop.

  • the truth

    they may have sucked, but the 2008 vma’s were better than wwe unforgiven last night.

  • ChicaGo-Getter

    ^SMH. Who still watches wrestling?

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com/ DJ Daddy Mack


  • REAL TALK 08

    Top 3 VMA’s 2008 Moments…

    1.Brit picked up 3 awards-long overdue!
    2.Kanye kicked Azz!..fuck da haterz
    3.Chris Brown beat out Usher..BEST MALE!

    Worse 3 VMA’s 2008 Moments….
    1.T-pain on the elephant Intro
    2.The Host of the show Russel Brand
    3.The JBZ!..really hated those Jonas Bros.

    Honerable mention of Best Moment:Christina Aguilera was hot!..

  • BGZ

    Russell Jones > Russell Simmons, you faggot-ass motherfuckers!!!

  • A’aron

    Rihanna makes the earth spin.

    SonSon Records

  • Prince Ceasar

    MTV is for rich white kids, uncle toms, and homos. The show sucked and Lil Wayne got his lip pierced to pleasure his dad, Baby. The show sucked.