"We're on a train headed to the future and there's a bridge out and nobody wants to talk about it."

--Rep. John LaBruzzo, R-The South

I'm not gonna lie. If someone wanted to give me $1,000 to make sure I don't have any kids, I'd have to seriously consider it.

I'm not a huge fan of kids anyway. and it's not like I have the means to take care of a kid, if I did have one. I could definitely use the $1,000, if only to get myself a couple of pairs of pants that fit right, figure out what's wrong with the van, and maybe, if I've got a few dollars left over, head over to the East Side to get a little glitter on my face.

Plus, it's not like I'd ever be completely shit out of luck, should I decide at some point that I do want to have kids. I could always drop a load in a test tube and have it frozen, on the outside chance that there's ever a point in my life that I'm not teetering on the edge of homeless, and I meet a woman who's actually worth a shit.

I might need to see about having some of my essence bottled up anyway, in case anyone wants to buy it. No homo.

Admit it, ladies. You only wish your kids could be as smart as I am. At least on paper.

The thing is, you don't really see a lot of programs these days offering to make a guy sterile. Just now, for example, I stumbled upon a story about this state representative down in Louisiana who's proposing this program to tie women's tubes for $1,000 a pop. Perhaps you've heard of it.

It isn't a law just yet, but it sounds like this guy, John LaBruzzo, who hails from the same district in Louisiana that once elected David Duke, is floating the idea to see if anyone will go along with it.

For what it's worth, he's suggesting the possibility other forms of birth control besides just tubal ligation, and also vasectomies for men. But you get the idea that that's just so that it doesn't sound as much like a eugenics program.

To wit:

“What I’m really studying is any and all possibilities that we can reduce the number of people that are going from generational welfare to generational welfare, ” he said.

He said his program would be voluntary. It could involve tubal ligation, encouraging other forms of birth control or, to avoid charges of gender discrimination, vasectomies for men.

I'm not sure how most other forms of birth control would definitely guarantee a person couldn't have any kids. He's not actually gonna give people $1,000 to stay stocked up on rubbers, is he?

The only thing I could think is if he paid people $1,000 to use a rubber or whatever, but then forced them to have an abortion if it didn't work, and if they wanted to keep the $1,000. But of course this douche is pretty adamant about the fact that he's not in favor of the government paying for abortions.

At any rate, you get the idea that the main emphasis here is those tubal ligations. Hence the headline of the story I read: "LaBruzzo considering plan to pay poor women $1,000 to have tubes tied."

Which makes sense, if you think about it.

I mean, I don't have the papers to back this up, but I'd be willing to bet that a lot of these kids in the ghetto all have the same father. And even if we got rid of him, I'm sure these women would still find some other guy who's spent a significant amount of time in the joint and is willing to have sex with a fat lady.

The tubal ligation would obviously be a lot more effective at cutting the problem off at its source.

However, you wonder if it hasn't occurred to this guy LaBruzzo that these women know good and well that you can get money for having a kid. Which is why they've got so many of them in the first place. I mean, I know there's much more of a desire with women to have a baby. But do you think these women would be so adamant about reproducing if a baby didn't come with 18 years worth of King Vitamin?

In fact, I wonder how many women would even sign up for such a program, since the amount you get is so low. Probably only crackheads, right? Sure, guys would probably go for it, but guys don't get any kind of reward for having a kid. Shit, a guy is lucky if he doesn't go to jail.

What do you fruits think? Should the government be allowed to pay women to have their tubes tied. And if they could, do you think very many women would go for it?