Step aside, Dr. Phil

I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I said some shit ought to happen and it ended up happening, I’d have more than two of pants that fit right.

You fruits will recall that I did a post earlier this week, in which I suggested that the reason the new single by Kanye West is gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys with one cock left over to stick in someone’s ear is because he was distraught over the break-up with his fiance, and that he needed to go ahead and try to get her back.

I figured it would probably also be in her best interest, for financial reasons, if the two of them got back together. But you have to wonder what’s the likelihood of a woman  – a black woman, at that – running back to a man after he’s already kicked her to the curb once.

I can’t claim to actually know what happened between the two of them, but I’ve always assumed it was a matter of Ye kicking her to the curb, because he wanted to score with white chicks with huge cans. He’s always hinted as such in his songs and in his videos, and he’s been known to travel with a suitcase full of interracial pr0n videos.

Shit, I don’t even bring my pr0n on vacation. Er, not always!

Then there was that picture of him, not too long after the breakup, in the VIP of some club with a couple of broads that looked like they must have somehow been extracted from my subconscious. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve hardly ever been more jealous of a rapper.

I suppose it could be the case Alexis dropped him, because she figured he wasn’t the right match for her. (Perhaps she needs a man who’s more of a… um, man.) But what sense would it make for her, again financially, for her to walk away from a situation like that before the two of them even tied the knot?

Anyhoo, I was checking Media Take Out just now, and I see the two of them have managed to patch things up. Just yesterday, a stalkerazzi caught them out on the town checking out the premiere of one of those teh ghey cartoons that he’s into.

Let me guess, she wasn’t actually into that teh ghey cartoon. She just saw her opportunity to get back into some money and she went for it. At any rate, what matters is that they’re back together and that I so fucking called this one.

Now all there is to do is to make sure Kanye West doesn’t put out an album full of teh ghey bullshit like “Love Lockdown.” And wouldn’t you know, it looks like there may have been some progress made on that front as well.

I was checking hip-hop’s other finest news source, the blogs over at the hip-hop blog of the year, SOHH, and I see that there might not not be a new Kanye West album before the end of the year after all. The DL brother who writes most of the blogs there says that he talked to someone who said that that Kanye is a perfectionist, and the album just might not be ready by the end of the year.

Wanton speculation and stereotype-infused translation: Alexis realized what was going on (perhaps she even read my blog), hit him off with some stank, and now he’s reconsidering the Phil Collins tack he had been pursuing on this new album.

Bonus!

Not that I give a rat’s what he does with his new album. But you have to figure, whatever he does, we’re gonna be hearing about it ad nauseum for the next year or so. At least now maybe he won’t be singing as much.

  • these posts are racist

    Hater.

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      But I didn’t even mention anything about the terrorists in this post!

  • Pierzy

    The album is supposedly titled “808s & Heartbreak.” Doesn’t that sound like an R. Kelly or Usher album title??

  • Og bobby j

    Personally, I think Kanye is a horrific rapper and even a little bit of a fruit….

    here come the stans….

  • iLL G

    yes Bol u so did call it. i gotta find me a rich celebrity lol …these women have it easy…i need to pull a Ashton

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    OG Bobby J,

    Kanye is one of the greatest artists of the 2000′s. His first two albums are classics. Grammy after grammy. You have to know at some point, he’s gonna pull another classic out of the vault. Also, I love the movie South Central. Deuce! Lol

  • Johnny Blackwell

    Hey Bol,

    why you gotta rip off a joke from Patton Oswald and act like it’s your own!?

    “Kanye is gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys with one cock left over to stick in someone’s ear”

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Congratulations, you just found one pop culture reference in an entire pastiche of them.

      You win a scholarship to the HBCU of your choice.

      • these posts are racist

        Why do you have to degrade HBCUs?

  • Bang

    Kanye is really falling off

  • BigNat

    the new single by Kanye West is gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys with one cock left over to stick in someone’s ear. WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • JDizzel3000

    Didn’t even waste time reading the post…seeing as how i already can predict the essential message that’s trying to be projected ..lemme guess ..

    1.Kanye is gay for making what is precieved to be a “homotional” track about his relationship issues (as if thats something new with pop-artist)

    2.Kanye is gay for signing on an entire track..

    3.Did i mention that Kanye was gay??

    now as i said i didn’t even read the blog but im guessing that im close to 85-90% on as far as what this shit is about..

    bottom line is A.The nigga is gon sell 800k -1mil his first week B.You negriods are going to give his album a XXL rating and C.He’s going to do another major tour that will BLOW everyone’s little minds….so in a nutshell i say fuck it…you might as well get on the train now cos you aint gon stop it..

    *Hmms In A Ultra Vocoded Toned*

    “If you keep ya love lockdown ya love lockdown”

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    Damn another love potion rapper gets slayed by some slut ho chick. It’s really a shame how niggaz think that major cake is gonna solve their relationship problems. I’m taking a good look at the reality of the situation.

    If the bitch is a slut ho that you can’t trust, then why take her back? There has to be a reason you get rid of a bitch. These hos aren’t for loving anyway, they for baby making and money making.

    She not even a top model like that man. He should at least by banging something Angelina Jolieezy. But Alexis, some black model chick? I bet you mad niggaz boned that already and are still boning it behind his silly ass back. Remember, he just got famous several years ago. If he didn’t have no cake, she wouldn’t even talk to him.

    Kanye is ultra gay and not really talented so she knows she hit the jackpot. She can live off his funds and his shines while she meets some next richer better nigga to jump on. I’m not sure he even wants to be with her and that is how lame he is.

    • master cheef

      that wasnt allnice at all, but it was pretty on point.

  • geico lizard

    you are right Bol it makes no sense for a black woman to leave a rich man before she either marries him so she can get alimony or at least have a kid with him so she can get child support and torture him like 50′s ex does everytime they go to court or tmz gets a camera in her face. kanye didnt have to beg hard to get her back im sure he just wired some money into her checking account and she was suddenly in love again.

  • RisingSon

    So Kanye is not a man?..why exactly?

  • TheCo!!inB

    you should work for the hip hop police Bol, i’m pretty sure you’re already out of shape so you’re like halfway there….i don’t know how you keep figuring this shit out but you do.

  • Youngz

    EY BOL!
    U da man dawg (no homo).
    But u need to stop posting under the alias “THESE POSTS ARE RASCIST” cause everyone with some intelligence knows its YOU…I called u on it 6 months ago, and then TPAR disappeared all mysteriously…and now hes back typing 5 min apart from u….u gettin LAZY dawg!! LOL!

  • ProDunkgirl

    She need to tell Ye’ that the new single is not whatsup