NEGRO PLEASE: Juelz Santana Wants to Bone Sarah Palin

[Editor's Note: "Blogger's Note" has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]

Look what the fuck you started, Jackpot.

“I wanna smash her [Sarah Palin] just to wreck the whole McCain thing… It’d look like she was cheating and that’d be all crazy for the White House.”Juelz Santana, SOHH.com

Right. And I wanna slam it to Beyonce because it would finally disband Destiny’s Child.

Come on, LaRon. When has a rapper ever had to play coy about his boneriffic desires to pillage and plunder the poontang? Alpa Chino love tha pussy. Sarah Palin looks like some kind of porno librarian. You don’t have to cover up being turned on by that Sheila Brovlovsky beehive.

At least we can derive some humor from this Santana/Palin ’08 image. I mean, imagine Juelz trying to show Palin what the 80s like. You never know. He might could make homegirl feel like Miss Alaska 1984 runner-up again.

[Blogger's Note: That's a totally moot point. Had she won her state she'd only have gotten smashed by Vanessa "Miss New York" Williams like everyone else.]

Actually, Palin still answers every question like she’s got that icy, petrified whale splooge tiara and white woman perm (which has the opposite effect of Dark & Lovely, FYI).

I know I’m discussing semantics with a man whose favorite word is a single character in length, but damn. It wouldn’t “look like” Palin were cheating if she fucked a spider monkey like Juelz Santana. She’d just be cheating. However, it’s good to know that if needed he’d take one for the team and provide his best possible Obama campaign contribution. Even better still is knowing that Santana openly considers himself a political liability.

At least I didn’t have to say it.

Thanks for the wet dream plan, Juelz. Clearly this polar bear bitch is smear-proof, though. If she can have a pregnant teen daughter, a touchdown baby for said pregnant teen daughter, Planet Terror action photos and the shakings of a sold state plane, nothing as minuscule as an affair with the igloo cleaner some Harlem rapster is going to dampen support from the Republican Party.

It may get Juelz a Chilly Willy nut, but thatta ’bout it. Once a Republican supports you, that ass is D4L. Them niggas is more loyal than the fuckin’ Corleone Family. They’ll defend the most bass ackward candidate, so long as (s)he got that (R) behind their name when they speak on C-SPAN. Their motto has always been “It’s wrong until we do it. Then it’s some American shit.”

Hmm… Maybe he meant he’d fuck Bristol. Obviously she’s givin’ it up these days. Smart money says any Palin would be down for some “Oopsie, daise. Boo, I’m crazed. Choo-choo train Zulu cane.” You’d be surprised who’s listening to “Hey Ma” these days.

Owwwwwww.

I bet it was the bikini assault rifle picture that did it for Santana the Great. Juelz fucks with Lil’ Wayne, which means he probably listens to asinine songs like “Mrs. Officer,” which means he probably has a prison complex like most black men who are wholly and completely in control of the prison state in which they live.

Isn’t that right, OG Bobby J?

There could be more to this scenario than that White Fever alone. Perhaps Santana fucks with Palin because she’d add “jewelry ransom” to the laundry list of tax write-offs for the top 1%.

That’d be some pipeage all rapsters (and Jackpot) could line up behind. Juelz would be voted into a lifetime term as President of Rapster’s Union for his efforts if dude could pull that one off.

Jeans Upshaw could be his porn star name for the subsequent videos produced and sold.

Negro, please do this. I’m actually quite fond of the idea! This is the best shit Juelz has come up with since he figured out what rhymes with “bandana.”

Questions? Comments? Requests? Got Sarah Palin high on your Fantasy GILF cheat sheets? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: As long as we’re showing Oh Word love today, I’ll quote Rafi Kam. “Never forget.. Never forget how they used this day [9/11] against you.”

P.P.S.: Michelle Obama should be higher on your draft cards.

P.P.P.S.: SDN Tournament starts next week. We’ve got Bracketology coming Monday.

  • nellz

    Smart money says any Palin would be down for some “Oopsie, daise. Boo, I’m crazed. Choo-choo train Zulu cane.” You’d be surprised who’s listening to “Hey Ma” these days.

    LOL..is that what that nigga said?..

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      something to that effect on “Santana’s Town.”

      the DIP, DIP… SET, SET song.

      i wanna say there’s a “cuckamame” in there somewhere too. haven’t listened to the song since ’03 or so.

      • DETROIT

        LMFAO!

    • Tony Grand$

      Damn Mex, gotta nigga rollin early! U called dude a spidermonkey and said this the biggest shit for him since he found something to rhyme with ‘bandana’. Smfh!

  • Pete

    this blog wasn’t close to funny, its just random

  • Some Guy From Toronto

    “I mean, imagine Juelz trying to show Palin what the 80s like.” – HA!

    Not being from the States this election doesn’t affect me a whole hell of a lot – but damn if isn’t entertaining!

  • black&mild

    Yo ron im now gonna lie palin kinda got that sexy math teacher thing going on and sad to michelle obama look like one of them ho’s that cut ur beef off when u sleep for cheating on u. she a scary lookin lady but i beat she’ll beat palin’s ass if they shot the fair one

    • black&mild

      *not gonna lie

      • Big Dick Cheney

        Yea i’d smash that bitch…not gonna lie.. she look some chick straight off of milfhunter.com

  • jojo

    Just to speak on the SDN thing, I just saw an old Real Time with Bill Maher episode with Mos Def and the Great Cornell West and I gotta say Mos held his own…Make sure you check it out on youtube

    Michael Dyson on Maher is dope too…

  • king b

    is this nigga getting paid for all this babblin’

    • iLL G

      yo dont do it Queen B. Mex is one of the only reasons i check the blogging section now, I’m sure with alot of other cats that thought this site was over with.

      so respect the post, cus at least he is doing suttin with his life. you on the other hand, not so much. lmao aaaaand im spent

  • Pierzy

    What up Mex!

    First off, I immediately thought this the first time I heard her: “Actually, Palin still answers every question like she’s got that icy, petrified whale splooge tiara and white woman perm.”

    Secondly, it’s a shame that bikini/rifle picture is photoshop’d (check snopes) because she would totally do some shit like that.

    And I can’t wait for the SDN. I’ma print out brackets and start a pool in my office…

  • Og Bobby J

    keep my name out your posts (in my best e-thug voice)

    i got enough stanely dickriders out here already…running outta room on my dick, i am white ya kno.

    • chad bro chill

      ron stays in touch with his comment section hahah og bobby j should change his name to og loc from san andreas

  • DETROIT

    “I know I’m discussing semantics with a man whose favorite word is a single character in length”

    You’re Crazy Man!

    on another note, have you heard that cam pussy hole song? The dips were one of my favorite groups, they were kinda like wu-tang with less lyrical ability and more business savy, BUT WTF IS WRONG WIT CAM?

    HE STAYS AWAY FOR LIKE A YEAR, AND COMES BACK WITH A PUSSY HOLE ANTHEM?

  • http://www.ohword.com Sach

    Ron Mexico with the real talk (as usual). Thanks for the shout!

  • that nigga

    Thanks for the wet dream plan, Juelz. Clearly this polar bear bitch is smear-proof, though. If she can have a pregnant teen daughter, a touchdown baby for said pregnant teen daughter, Planet Terror action photos and the shakings of a sold state plane, nothing as minuscule as an affair with the igloo cleaner some Harlem rapster is going to dampen support from the Republican Party.

    ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    You had me at Polar Bear bitch. HA!!!! And why the fuck my posts aint goin’ up the first time??

  • that nigga

    Wait, how high Is Juelz up on the SDN Brackets? He’s to scary to do any crime but he has to be kinda high (no pun) with that stupid “Aye” shit alone.

  • Enlightened

    Ron Mexico, you a stupid ass nigga for blogging about this. I saw the original quote on SOHH.COM. A question was posed to him about if he would rather hit Michelle Obama or Sarah Palin. Why you come with this bullshit trying to make it seem like he came out of the blue with that shit. I see you conveniently left the beginning of his quote off. You muthafuckas in the media are some childish, silly, narrow-minded, short-sighted, individuals. Most of y’all anyway

    • DETROIT

      DAMN CUZ! he’s just joking, this is xxl.com, not THE NEW YORK TIMES!

  • anutha_level

    “Actually, Palin still answers every question like she’s got that icy, petrified whale splooge tiara and white woman perm (which has the opposite effect of Dark & Lovely, FYI).”

    …damn!

  • Worley

    Black & Mild: slow ya roll homes. Michelle Obama is definitely THE MILF.

    Michelle O. >>> McCain’s Eskimo

    • DETROIT

      i strongly disagree

      palin >>>>>>> kwame kilpatrick’s jumpoff >> >>>>>>>Kwame Kilpatrick’s Wife >>>>>M. Obama

  • John Brown

    Fuck College Football!!! Fuck the NFL!!! Fuck the MLB Playoffs!!! ITS ALL BOUT THE SDN TOURNAMENT BABY!!!

    ***Ron, sup, IM BACK!!! Been busy. But yo are you gonna drop a post on the NFL for not letting CHAD OCHO CINCO wear a jersey with his “new” last name on it. They gave a bogus excuse bout that Reebok is gonna take a $4 million dollar lost for all those #85 Johnson’s jersey and they dont want to make #85 OCHO CINCO jersey. Come on RON, that has NEGRO PLEASE written all over it. What you think. BTW, Ron I know you got a NEGRO PLEASE for Shawty Lo, dude said that the whole “beef” with T.I. was a “misunderstanding”. But he was all over the ‘net talking reckless. So are we gonna see a NEGRO PLEASE edition starting Shawty Lo?***

  • anutha_level

    i bet she got that good wet-squishy-fart tho…

    and michelle obama got a HUGE booty! *i likes*

  • geico lizard

    good job ron juelz should have laid low after the london heist but i guess he isnt that smart. i agree with john brown you have to go in on shawty lo because a day after he says the beef with TI is dead i see the new TI video is in shawty lo’s hood with an entire song dedicated to dissing him. now he has to go on atlanta radio and say the beef is back in the pot.

  • http://j-mace.deviantart.com Shawty J

    How can Juelz be entered into the SDN tournament. Juelz has done nothing to show any form of intellect in his music or interviews, which eliminates the S in DN which just leaves Santana as a DN, a dumb nigga.

    This guy should really stop doing interviews.

  • BigNat

    “Oopsie, daise. Boo, I’m crazed. Choo-choo train Zulu cane.” WHAT THE FUCK

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    That Palin chiccs old picture look kinda like Marcy from married with children,she’d still get it.when white people get perms they hair look like they got a Jheri curl.Yea just moved to cold ass MN,white chics is out here choosin.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    Bristol Palin is bad, word to my mother! I’d like to get with her, and Sunset Thomas on some menagerie.

    I’m winnin’ the SDN tourney! So get ready you yentas!

  • Jason Murk

    I watched the interview on ABC and it got me thinking… How can a bitch give you brain if said bitch does not have a brain?

    Just somethin to think about…

  • http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/brickyardpro4 BRICKYARD PRO

    OH SARAH LET ME LOVE YOU TILL YOUR JUICES COME
    I WOULD DEFINITELY HIT SARAH AND MICHELLE GOT NICE LIPS AND JAWS GOD BLESS OBAMAH NO NEED TO PULL A BILLY CLINTON

  • Prince Ceasar

    I can’t believe that I actually used to listen to this lame nigga’s music in high school. Fuck this nigga.

  • Optimus Prime

    I was just gonna read this, have a few chuckles and say to myself my customary “gee willickers, that Ron Mexico fella sure is comical!” but I noticed the reference to og bobby j and felt compelled to say something. and good call black & mild… michelle obama got so much makeup that you know underneath she’s gotta be a succubus or like a goblin or something… though i gotta say i was pretty jealous after barack gave her that ass slap immediately following the fist bump that may or may not be a terrorist signal

  • BGZ

    Go Juelz, fuck that bitch; then I’ll start buyin whatever you put out and call a record.
    And you can bet he woulda had Bristol if he toured Alaska.

  • Al

    Someone seriously thought that putting this entire website in caps lock was the best way to make it more “swaggalicious”? This shit is pathetic.