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No, really, kill Bill O’Reilly

The East Coast Avengers’ “Kill Bill O’Reilly” was all poised to be the biggest hip-hop media scandal since the last big hip-hop media scandal, and then… nothing.

The other day, I turned on the Factor, which I haven’t watched on a regular basis since before you knew what the factor was (seriously, Clinton was still in office), and I thought for certain Bill-O was gonna have to go in re: “Kill Bill.” You know how Bill-O is about hip-hop. It’s the reason he can’t have regular sex anymore.

Aside for 2Pac stans: I remember, back in the mid ’90s, C. Delores Tucker (may she rot in pieces), had something similar happen, after ‘Pac mentioned her in a song. She even tried to sue to him for it, though the judge threw the case out. I wouldn’t be surprised, though, if she wasn’t making that shit out.

But come to find out, Bill-O hasn’t been on the factor all this week. Since it’s getting towards the end of the summer, and right before the election starts to get interesting again, I’m assuming Bill-O decided to take a week-long vacation. Crazy-ass Laura Ingraham has been filling in until Papa Bear gets back.

Damn it.

As we speak, Bill-O is probably off somewhere in a swank resort, in a shower, going at his wife’s vagine with a loofah, just like Flava Flav used to.

I’ll admit, I’m a little bit jealous of both of them. Maureen McPhilmy (really?) is kind of a cougar. Er, if she’s not actually fucking anyone under the age of 60 at present (though who knows?), I guess that would make her more of a MILF. At any rate, you catch my drift.

Unfortunately, there’s reason to believe that Bill-O isn’t gonna give the East Coast Avengers the time of day once he gets back stateside. Earlier this week, the TIs at Newscorp, owners of both Fox News and MySpace, had the Avengers’ tribute to the Fox News host, “Kill Bill O’Reilly,” disappeared from their MySpace, on some straight communist China shit.

Crap, there went our moral authority to criticize them for half of the shit they pull!

And as I mentioned on my own site just now, how is Bill O’Reilly gonna look dissing the East Coast Avengers for writing a song about him that you can’t even hear, because his TI benefactors had the shit censored from MySpace?

He can’t very well claim, say, that the East Coast Avengers, or their song, are insignificant, if his bosses went so far as to have the song removed from MySpace, lest people actually hear it. And I doubt the TIs are gonna want the word to get out, in general, that MySpace will have your shit censored, if you offend the TIs that own it.

The kids might start to get the idea that MySpace fucking sucks balls.

So that’s probably not gonna happen for them. Still, I’d say there’s plenty of opportunity for “Kill Bill O’Reilly” to go viral, as it should, and as I’m hoping it does, both as a fan of the group and as a fan of a motherfucking train wreck.

Lest we forget, “Kill Bill O’Reilly” hasn’t even officially been released as a single, though you can find an MP3 of it posted in some of the less reputable parts of the Internets. It’s slated to be made available for sale September 2nd, along with a corresponding video.

Which I’m sure will be that much more likely to go “viral” than the song itself – which, after all, you can’t even see! Let’s just hope they don’t botch the video as badly as Nas and Rik Cordero (please, tell me that guy is not involved with this) did the video for “Sly Fox.”

And in the meantime, they’ve got a new song up on their MySpace, going at Michelle Malkin, who had the sheer balls to respond to “Kill Bill O’Reilly,” last week. It’s called “Dear Michelle,” and holy crap is it scathing.

Sample lyric: “Michelle Malkin, where the fuck should I start? You no-heart-having, half-tranny, drag-queen looking manly.”


Also mentioned in the song are a number of other 2nd and 3rd-rate right wing blowhards, including the aforementioned Laura Ingraham, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Micheal Savage. If Bill O’Reilly doesn’t have the balls to have the East Coat Avengers on his show, maybe one of them will.

Or are they too chickenshit? In “Dear Michelle,” Esoteric warns that, if he’s ever on television, he’s gonna pull a Jeremy Glick, i.e. pwn Bill O’Reilly (or whoever) so bad they have to cut his mic.

I’d like to see one of these d-bags call his bluff.

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