NEGRO PLEASE: Lloyd Banks Considers Himself “Top 5″

[Editor's Note: "Blogger's Note" has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]

“Oh, yeah… I AM Top 5… Like it or not… Ha!”Lloyd Banks, “Call It How I See It”

Is that how you see it, Banks?

Maybe dude’s view is a little obscured behind the sliding wooden gate of the man-sized playpen at 50 Cent’s house.

After listening to Banks finally taking the advice of G-Unit fans, stans and “haters” (by delivering “Call It How I See It” with a little emotion and vocal inflection for once), I guess dude thinks he’s emerged from the depths of the B-list [sc]rap heap to “Top 5” in one verse.

No–Dude can’t possibly be mean he’s a Top 5 MC, can he? After Banks and his three daddies (50, Grandpa Shady and The Good Detox Doctor) there’s only room left for Tony Yayo in the uppermost echelon.

Negro, please. This can’t possibly be what he meant.

In all fairness to one of rap’s greatest non-dancing background dancers, let’s speculate.

Top 5 Things Lloyd Banks Could Be Top 5 At:

Weed Carrier – Unlike Cam’ron, T.I., Lil’ Wayne, Snoop Dogg and other popular rapsters whose ancillary staff have failed them, 50 Cent has yet to be caught riding dirty by Rick Ross the Hip-Hop Polices. This could very well mean that Banks is doing a damn fine job of always serving as/finding the appropriate shady go-between in every town G-Unit passes through.

Without a single lapse in judgment recorded to date, Lloyd Banks may have earned himself Top 5 weed carrier status.

Camel Face – While no one’s knocking Jay-Z from the top spot, there’s plenty of room for Banks on the Camel Face list. He can parallel park himself nicely in the #2 hole between Great Hova and his Wild’n Out doppelganger, Affion Crockett.

Low Talker/Mumbler – If Lloyd Banks falls in the woods, does he really make sound?

As previously alluded to, the #1 complaint of the Lloyd Banks listener has always been a lack of emotion, clarity and vocal inflection. Some guys can pull off the laid back flow, but the key is to still somehow convey to your audience that you still have a pulse. Despite some of the most clever punches a rap fan could ever hope to hear, Banks sometimes sounds like he’s rapping from his deathbed.

Half of his Beg For Mercy and Rotten Apple verses sounded like he delivered them after a violent round of radiation therapy and camel… I mean, chemo. Sorry.

Song Punchline Writer – If you can’t really spit it for yourself that well… or you’re far too ugly to be a star in today’s looks-first musical climate, you can always try your hand at living out a little Ghetto Cyrano [name that 90s R&B group]. While writing actually tends to pay better than actually being the horse artist the music is written for, that little star inside suffers. Little Chris’ ego never gets fed the way his mama hoped it would when he first rapped those Rakim lyrics into her potato masher when he was 6.

Banks could be one of the 5 best at this if he’d stop trying take the touchdown in himself. No, he can’t write a good song, but he can write a hot punch-filled sixteen for an “artist” with a chance. Float that thing up there for Chris Brown or somebody! You’ll both get credit for the 6 points. C Breezy will slide the cell phone fron under the goal post padding and handle the subsequent endzone dance.

The glory of the big stage ain’t for everyone. Ask Diane Warren.

Rap-Flavored Clothing Line Mannequin – Jay-Z draped his personal mannequin (Memphis Bleek) in the Rocawear prototypes before they hit shelves and trade shows. Since Banks has been around the house not doing much, 50’s been able to test his Gangstalicious Gear For Thugs 10-year-old girl tanktops on Banks.

Because yeah… While Lil’ Wayne may be able to coerce his way into making the masses believe he’s the best, it ain’t gonna happen for Banks that way.

I don’t think anyone would hear him anyway.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Holy fuckballs. I didn’t even curse in this shit! ron@ronmexicocity.com

I would have cried like a little girl to see Nas pull a Jay-Z out of his ass on stage at Rock The Bells this weekend.

No nullus.

  • Pierzy

    Yeah, there’s no way Banks is top 5. When you’re better as part of a group than as a solo artist because all you have to worry about is your verse, then you can’t be (one of) the best. Just because some artists haven’t released an album in the last week doesn’t mean that they still don’t have skills…

    • Pierzy

      What’s good Ron Mex? I’m happy to see you back on the grind yet again…

    • Deez Nutz

      LMAO once again @ one of the most diabolical haters this side of the mississippi…Mothaf*ckin Ron Mexico

  • b.trott

    christion….

    b-levels like juelz, fab, most of state prop, the lox, got boy wonder beat…that’s just ny

    he should just continue to make unwanted appearances on mtv’s sweet sixteen

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      damn, b. that didn’t take long!

      watching my life go.. dowwwwwwwwn!

      and yea… the sweet 16 was a bad look. haha.

      whattup, p?

  • Lowedwn

    “He can parallel park himself nicely in the #2 hole between Great Hova and his Wild’n Out doppelganger, Affion Crockett…..Since Banks has been around the house not doing much, 50’s been able to test his Gangstalicious Gear For Thugs 10-year-old girl tanktops on Banks.”

    LMAO. Goaddamn Mexxico, u are in rare form for a Monday. Definitelty top 3 weed carrier, and getting stonger each year.

    • John Brown

      “Definitelty top 3 weed carrier, and getting stonger each year.” – Lowedwn

      I dont think BANKS is a top 3 weed carrier yet. I mean are we forgetting Spliff (G.W.C.O.A.T), Bleek, Tony Yayo, Drag-On, Cadillac Tah, I20, Hell Rell.

      ***In DRAG-ON case I believe he was the CRACK-CARRIER.***

  • geico lizard

    he had to mean top 5 in gunit out of only 3 members left,lol.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      hahahahaha @ geico!

      …and good looks, lowe. i’m feelin it this fine monday morning.

      feel the hate.

  • Penelope Rodriguez

    Grandpa Shady! LMAO! I like that, Ron!

  • 239allday

    I think Banks was talking about the camel face. Papoose got a slight camel but nowhere near severe. When that nigga Banks came out in the rap game he was like 22 years old going on 38.

    Step your dermatoligist bame up Banko!!!

  • John Brown

    Ron,

    I think BANKS just got an invitation to the NIT (NIGGAS IN TRANSITION. Damn first Prodigy & now Banks. The NIT should be renamed the G-UNIT Tournament. I am pretty sure that Tony Yayo would say something Dumb to be invited.

    ***BANKS just got nominated for the NEGRO PLEASE of the year award.***

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      hahahaha. the G-UNIT INVITATIONAL!

      complete with local housing project “old timers day.”

      • Pierzy

        Make sure the banner has it like this: g-uNIT invitational

        For maximum NIT exposure

  • og bobby j

    Top 5 rappers who cant make a good album..but rip freestyles

    What happened to this nigga voice…it started low and shitty…now its lower and shittier

    and his punchline game feel the fuck off

    2007 – im no peace maker…that my jewelers job

    2003 – even tho my dollars are green, i rap for the kids thats too poor to waste eggs on halloween

  • giantstepp

    once you surround yourself with dickriders, stans and groupies you get a inflated unrealistic view of yourself. banks aint terrible, lord knows ive seen and heard worse, but top 5???

    As my Homie Ron Mex would say, NEGRO PLEASE!

  • LOL

    i have a hard time reading your blog

    • henry

      yea its a little everywhere but you’ll get use to it

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    I think when the homie lost his pops, he lost some of the drive he used to have.Hunger for More was a banger then came that shit sammich of an album.

  • EReal

    If Wayne can say he’s the greatest rapper alive, I have no problem with Banks saying that he’s top 5.

    Not that its true.

    Besides, people seem to forget the Gang Green mixtapes which were insane. That was his original material for his album “Gang Green Season”. Gang Green leaked. Hence the mixtapes.

    Rotten Apple was a thrown together mess made of leftover Gang Green tracks, and recorded and marketed during the time of his fathers death, give the cat a break.

    He’s still one of if not the best mainstream punchline rapper still out there. All around MC, mehhhh.

  • EReal

    to be a star in today’s looks-first musical climate,
    ^
    Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, T-Pain, Akon, Dirt Angel, Camel Face, WTF YOU talkin bout Ronnie?

    • render

      LOL true say…money can make anyone handsome

  • Justice4all

    I think he meant the top 5 of all the weed carriers. Yeah, that’s it. I see why his album was called the Rotten Apple.

  • Maddolies

    I Wouldnt Even Put Him In The Top 5 Weedcarriers
    Hes Competing Wit Some Big Time Carriers

    Spliff Star
    Memphis Bleek
    Jim Jones (Before Ballin’)
    Tony Yayo
    Hell Rell

    • nellz

      Mac Maine
      Lil Fate (of DTP)
      Jae-Hood
      Lil Cease
      Cuban Link, Armageddon, Triple Seis

      …just 2 name a few…banks isnt top 5 in that either

  • http://www.asdf.com Hey

    No homo to no nullus.

    BTW, Ron is right up there with Bol now. Put this nigga on top of the list of options, cuz I don’t check none of these other fools except for Bol, nullus.

    • giantstepp

      co-sign….ron mex been droping jewels!

  • Shawty J

    Top 5 Things Lloyd Banks Could Be Top 5 At:

    Weed Carrier – Although 50 Raps about it, he doesn’t actually smoke weed (something he admits in several interviews) that being said, Banks is eliminated from that category.

    Camel Face – I wouldn’t call Banks a camel face, he’s more like a giraffe, he’s out of that category

    Low Talker/Mumbler – I’ve heard much worse, maybe not all rappers, but much worse mumblers, Banks is gone from that category.

    Song Punchline Writer – Lyrically Banks’ punchlines have faded, big time, he’s gone from that category.

    Rap-Flavored Clothing Line Mannequin – The only time I notice Banks is wearing G-Unit gear is when he’s standing next to 50 and 50 is wearing G-Unit gear. He’s gone from that category.

    Banks ain’t top 5 at nothing. Lloyd Banks ain’t even top 5 at being Lloyd Banks.

  • Grindtimerapgame

    Banks is top 5 at being Fabolous…

  • KjB

    Its all a misunderstanding yaw. Real talk tho, Banks was talkin about how he’s in 50′s Fave 5. Don’t hate his unlimited minutes of late night girl talk with Curtsy, I mean Curtis. Its either that or he meant he was top 5 in his house, backyard, or even his garage. Hate on Ron. U noticed your low NPS% too huh? lol

  • Macdatruest

    50 DOESN’T SMOKE WEED, THESE THE REAL POSITIONS THEY PLAY FOR FIDDY

    Lloyd Banks: Lyrics & Cooking Healthy Meals
    Tony Yayo: Steroid Injections, Handjobs, Hypeman
    Hot Rod: Vitamin Waterboy/Weed Carrier In Training
    Whoo Kid: Weed Carrier(curently training Hot Rod)
    Prodigy: former Weed Carrier got lost on last mission and been in jail since)
    Spider Loc: Felon with Firearm waiting to do bid for groups street cred (currently being trained by Prodigy)
    Mase: In charge of keeping Staff Morale Up

    GGGGGGGGGGG-gGGGeoffrey tHe BuTleR Unit!!!!

  • Severe3000

    damn yall some haters up in here. lol
    top 5? naw…not yet. he has to drop some consistent hot records and albums to get that title.
    but how can yall say the dude aint nice?
    u judging him off dat one song?
    go back and do some research yung niggaz. banks has been a serious top contender for a long time.
    he been thru some very trying times the past few years (deaths in his family etc..), but blue hefner is a beast and could very well earn that title if he gets back on his grind and continues to drop heat like he has been. he needs another(yes another..first album was bangin) hot album to shut u haters up. dude leaked like 5 singles in the past week online, and they all sick. haters. (and i aint no g-unit stan either)

    • Macdatruest

      He need to leak like 5 more singles cause I aint heard them shits. He COULD get back on his grind… but what if Fiddy get into something he gon need somebody to fight his battle he might call Lloyd in for duty and you know he gotta drop what he doin asap. Damn the life of living in another nigga pocket…

    • Justice4all

      If I was you, I wouldn’t even cosign the sesame street bandit. Exactly when was he hot? I mean, he had a buzz in ’03-04 or something, but then he went dud, he’s been on a forever hiatus or something. If I was him, I’d ask 50 how to invest in that garb…err vitamin water company and just keep playing yayo in madden all day. Plus, I think weed carriers get stock options now so he should be good.

      Banks Stay Losing.

  • JAY

    Any of the Money in the Bank mixtapes>>>>>>>>>>>>any album dropped in the last year!

  • AshleyyNacole

    I like him. i wouldnt concider him top 5.. he would make a top 15 or 20. thats a good thing that he feels like that ways about himself..everybody should feel like there number one

  • Ragaveli

    Lloyd banks is top 5 alive for sure y’all niggas like a couple yrs bakk

  • kkkk

    what retard wrote this?

  • Nate

    probably a Game fan who wrote this, only reason someone will hate on Banks. Banks is definitely top 5 only people who will disagree is those who listen to commercial rap and hooks. if we have to take away rappers popularity Banks will outshine a lot of rappers that people claim is “top 5″, Banks outshines 50 lyrically as well.