Rowss, you lying sack of shit

Rick Ross either needs to produce some evidence that he used to be a huge coke dealer (and I don’t mean huge in the sense that he has to grow a neck beard to cover his multiple chins), or he needs to man up and admit that he’s a fucking fraud.

Yeah, we know it’s probably the latter, but I’m thinking it might not be too late for him to convince us that it’s the former. Allow me to explain.

We now know for a fact, thanks to the Smoking Gun, that Rick Ross aka William Leonard Roberts (what kind of black person name is that?) worked as a prison guard for about 18 months back around the time I was starting high school.

Actually, I thought this had been common knowledge. I first heard Rick Ross used to work as a prison guard back around the time “Hustlin’” was blowing up. And I’m pretty sure I read it in the world’s most accurate encyclopedia once when I was working on a review of either his first or his second album.

I listen to so much shitty rap music, it can be hard to keep up.

I’m far from a Rick Ross fanatic, though I do think he gets a bad rap from the likes of the late, great Noz – probably because doesn’t sound all that southern to me. I’d rather listen to Port of Miami than any number of southern rap albums, but I’d rather listen to the shit they play at Starbucks than Port of Miami.

I’m not gonna lie – I’ve gone into Starbucks just to see what was playing on the muzak that week. I find that sort of thing good to have in the background while I’m reading. But what can I say? I’m a reader. At least I didn’t used to be a cop.

But you’d have to think: If I’ve been well aware of the fact that Rick Ross used to work as a prison guard, certainly the kind of people who would actually like Rick Ross would be aware of that shit, the digital divide notwithstanding.

Which makes me wonder what the hell Rick Ross was thinking the other day when he had the sheer balls to go on the Internets talking about how he never used to be a CO, and those pictures of him cloaked in several yards of polyester had been doctored by haX0rs – perhaps the same racists who took out SOHH.

It’s obvious to me Rick Ross hasn’t spent very much time on the Internets, despite the fact that I’m sure he can afford broadband, what with all of that money he made cocaine trafficking. If he’s too busy going around getting women to have sex with him despite the fact that he looks like he does (I’ll admit, I’m a little bit jealous), perhaps he should consider getting the new 3G iPhone.

It reminds me of something that happened to Bill Clinton earlier this year, back when there was still a possibility that Hillary Clinton could win the Democratic nomination. (Yikes!) Poor ol’ Bubba went on the radio down in South Carolina talking mad greasy race shit about Obama. Then, the next day, when a reporter asked Clinton about it, he denied it up and down, despite the fact that the shit had been all over the Internets.

It obviously hadn’t occurred to him that you can record an interview from off the radio, encode it to a digital file, upload it to the Internets, and have millions of people hear it in a mere matter of hours. And for what it’s worth, you couldn’t back in 1992, when Bill Clinton first ran. It makes you wonder what kind of shit he used to pull that we never heard about.

Similarly, Rick Ross must have figured there was no way people could do things like consult a database of public records to see if there was any record of him having worked for the Department of Corrections down in Florida, or find someone who took pictures of his dumb ass at his prison guard school graduation, or find any number of people who could attest to what he was up to for a full 18 months back in the mid ’90s.

Though again, for what it’s worth, Rick Ross might have been cool, if it wasn’t for the motherfucking Smoking Gun. It’s not like any of these hip-hop publications were gonna check to see if he was an actual drug dealer. The label might get pissed and pull its advertising. Media Take Out at least turned up the photo of him at his graduation (probably stolen from some other site), but you know how a lot of these gossip sites are better at receiving photographs than they are at providing the Internets with anything of any real value.

The crazy thing about it is, I consulted MTV News just now, and Rick Ross is still going with the story that he never used to be a prison guard. The fuck? He also dropped a couple of new freestyles that hardly seem to address the issue. One of them takes a bit of a shot at going on the Internets and reading blogs, which, if you notice, is quickly becoming the equivalent of reading a book in the black community. If only there was a way I could hide my money (all $300 worth) inside my computer.

If I was Rick Ross, I’d just be like, “Fine, you got me. I used to be a prison guard back in the day. What can I say? I was 19. And $22,000 is a lot of money for a 19 year-old black dude. I had all of the shiny new white tennis shoes, and I used to get mad pussy from chicks who hang out at skating rinks.” Then he could have explained that, after he was a prison guard, when he was 21 or whatever, he became a heavy (meaning successful) coke dealer.

The fact that there’s yet to be such an explanation suggests to me that he never was a drug dealer, at any point. In fact, the real revelation in all of this could be what he did after he left the Department of Corrections. He probably got fired for being too fat and had to go work at a Church’s Chicken. Admit it, most Church’s Chickens you’ve ever been to had one nigga in the back that kinda looked like Rick Ross.

  • Pierzy

    A few things… First, there are some classic lines in this post: “Rick Ross aka William Leonard Roberts (what kind of black person name is that)” and “It’s obvious to me Rick Ross hasn’t spent very much time on the Internets, despite the fact that I’m sure he can afford broadband, what with all of that money he made cocaine trafficking.” Second, I always felt that 98% of the content in Rick Ross’ rhymes came from watching Scarface a thousand times and listening to Reasonable Doubt a thousand times. And third, Since I’ve done both of those things 2,000 times, I should be the one with Foxy and Ricky should go back to working at Shawshank.

    • Deez Nutz

      LMAO @ most of post and church’s chicken reference

      Bottomline: Enjoy music for what it is…entertainment per Dr. Dre in “The Show” movie (oh my bad…you thought Dr. Dre was really gangsta…while were at it…Santa Claus is a lie too…sorry)

  • FuckUPayMe618

    Ross Looks like that Fat black Fuck from the Police Academy flicks back in the day.

    • Pierzy

      The one that always yelled “dirt bag!”? I could see that…

  • giantstepp

    “Admit it, most Church’s Chickens you’ve ever been to had one nigga in the back that kinda looked like Rick Ross.”

    LMAO!! Bol, good drop my Nigga! The Biggest Cop, umm, Boss, Rick Ross is busted! He screwed up by lying mayne. Nothing is wrong with earning an honest living. But playing that drug kingpin role leading youngins blindly astray is just wrong.

    “Which makes me wonder what the hell Rick Ross was thinking the other day when he had the sheer balls to go on the Internets talking about how he never used to be a CO, and those pictures of him cloaked in several yards of polyester”

    Same shit I was thinking Bol. Man, he wouldve been better by not saying anything!

    RIP, Rick Ross career.

    • iLL G

      “But playing that drug kingpin role leading youngins blindly astray is just wrong.”

      So its wrong to act like ur a big coke dealer because he really is a C.O.?? how bout the fact that its wrong to glamourize the criminal lifestyle, period!!! fuckin dummies everyone is fuckin sheep following the herd.

  • http://www.asdf.com Hey

    Is this your way of responding to my question on bc.com? Sweet.

  • http://rodt3.blogspot.com/ RodT

    Lying ass fat mofo. I mean really. Its kew to have a job. Its not kew to be a wanksta.

    • Valdez

      ^^^LOL @ wanksta.

      anyway, eveybody knew c.o. rowss was lying from the jump as soon as we seen him for the 1st time, lmmfao!!!

  • The Spaniard

    “Admit it, most Church’s Chickens you’ve ever been to had one nigga in the back that kinda looked like Rick Ross.”

    Classic line.

    Imagine the likelihood a major coke dealer taking the moniker of another confirmed major coke dealer then becoming a popstar by rhyming words over a beat for teenaged audiences about being a coke dealer.

    What’s not to believe about that?

  • Mighty Whitey

    Something tells me that if Weezy survived liplocking a dude that Ross will not be affected much by this.

    • Deez Nutz

      Sad but true

      Signed Weezy Fucking Baby (weezy said it not me)

  • Walt

    How ironic is it that Ross always refers to himself as “Boss”, the same name of the female “gangsta” rapper that was exposed as fraud back in the day?

    • http://www.asdf.com Hey

      That “Big Boss Man” wrestler was a prison guard. Maybe Ross was trying to tell us something the whole time!

  • whats CraCCin

    how does it feel to write a 6log when your so latesohh kills xxl lmao

    • http://www.asdf.com Hey

      “sohh kills xxl”

      ROFL!!! What a fucking idiot.

  • http://eyefivestyle.blogspot.com a.lo

    funny that the banner atop this page right now is a rick ross promotional banner

  • ri067953

    Yo, now that this shit has come out, he is going to get X’ed out of every Kahlid single and album cuz he used to be a C.O. which is almost worse then being a pig. Nobody is going to want to do a song with Rick Ross going forward.

  • takana nigeria

    pls when will 50 cent release his next album, and it better be good b,cos his last album i produced in mass did not sell well in nigeria.tell lil wayne to stop rapping and switch to r& b becos when we print his album it does not see. I wish tupac and biggie were alive, i made money producing tupac albums. I am banking on 50 to make good albums. By the way i sell albums of any kind for just $1.7. it is good, of high quality and a money saver. Don,t get me wrong, piracy is an employer of labour in nigeria, cost of original albums are to expensive to buy and i am doing my best to make such albums available to millions of album. By the way i also do wholesale, if u need up to 1million albums, i can arrange it for u at a good discount

    • Bang

      Well what the fuck

    • Liam

      Is your uncle a multi-millionaire general with an offer we can’t refuse?

  • Rizob

    i really dont think this is gonna hurt Ross’ career. I mean if Wayne can get away with being a man kissing faggot, surely Ross can get a pass for just having a job.

    • Nigger…..There I Said It

      Good Point, which is why hip-hop is dead. Rappers should not get a pass for these kinds of things. Nothin wrong with makin an honest live. But it is wrong to LIE and glorify something that’s destroyin our communities that you probably never done.

  • H. IMPERIAL

    DAMN..THE BOSS DONE FUCKED UP….IT’S ALL HIS FAULT THO’…HE SHOULDA JUST TOLD THE TRUTH OR JUST KEPT QUIET….NOW I WANNA SEE HOW HE GET OUTTA THIS…ON THE REAL IT SHOULDN’T BOTHER PEOPLE THO’ CAUSE 95PERCENT OF RAPPERS LYRICS ARE NOT REAL….ITZ 4 PURE ENTERTAINMENT

    http://www.imperialfilmworks.com

  • http://the-drunkmonkey.blogspot.com/ TheDrunkmonkey

    Hit the nail on the head….. tsk tsk Rick, which if he keeps denying it, smoking gun or tmz is gonna have that dudes tax records doing something much less “hood credible” then a CO at 19……

    The-Drunkmonkey

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    Hey Bol,

    Check this out, if you drank enough booze one day turned on the tv and watched the “We Takin Over” Video, look for the end where Ross and Khaled are in the maybach, and they get pulled over. Then Khaled throws a watch to the officer and says “You must be new or somethin cause We The Best.”

    I bet you will laugh your ass off.

    If he didn’t name his crew the Carol City Cartel, then he might still be in the clear, but come on.

    I wonder what the people he’s worked with and the people in Miami have to say? What’s next? Plies actually went to college?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      No way in hell Plies went to college.

      • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

        i don’t know man… i wouldn’t be surprised.

        p.s.: love the last 2 paragraphs.

        that’s how we go in. no nullus.

      • iLL

        Not a hater but word go’s Plies aint really the Goon he claim to be, its said he raps from his brothers perspective and that homey was goin to school to be an accountant (nothing wrong with that, a living is a living) but i think people get to caught up in these “personas” 95% of these rappers carry. Hip hop/rap has and is entertainment now. Its rare you will find a real hardcore felon MC or rapper/flapper.

        • Bang

          that AINT the definition of real

      • akaTheRealist

        reality is, mr. pliers did go to college. He’s obviously paid wikipedia to disclose his real age, which I’ve heard is like, 34 by now. He went to college when he was young , and I guess did all the goon shit afterwards, hence him officially starting his rap career at such an old age. I’m pretty sure this is accurate, but I know Bol has an uber amount of time to research this during his Brazzers & bananas breaks he’ll have verification up soon!

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    I never bought a Rick Ross album to begin with, nor could I get through the whole LP. So it’s not like, since I won’t be supporting his future music endeavors, I’m flip-flopping. Dude should just tell the truth.

    On the other hand, he has a look that can make millions endorsing barbecue sauce. I’d buy a case of that shit.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    I thought the Trilla was cool,no complaints,never thought he was Pablo’s connect or some shit,this is entertainment and if he got niggas feelin his act then he’s doin something right.Cosign on that bbq sauce .Whatup Un

  • Mika

    man u fuckerrr Ron ….. u got me laughing baaaaad man …. im just hving a great great time gng thru ross now … on youtube,here with ron n tony damn man ross is so gangsta !! and if weezy survived the liplock ……. come on ppl ! weezy is weezy and ross is ross, weezy smooched his pop so be it ! his pop not ours ! and ross….. ross worked as cop …. thts something i just love !!! rick ross 4 life !!!! ……….

    not

  • Mika

    “and I don’t mean huge in the sense that he has to grow a neck beard to cover his multiple chins” Ron …classic !! haha

  • Marco317

    Triple C means Carol City Cartel? Naw it means Cops, Cuffs, and Cells lol…

  • Shawty J

    This one of the greats blog posts I’ve read in a long time, I mean you just ethered, Ross, man.

  • http://WWW.GRINDFAMILY.COM YUNG TWEZZY

    WHY DID THE NUG HAVE TO LIE?
    THE KIDS HAVE TO EAT NIG, NEVER BE ASHAMED OF HOW YOU PUT BREAD ON YOUR PLATE.

    1. JEZZY DIDNT LIE ABOUT WORKIN AT CHURCHS CHICKEN

    2. DAM TUPAC WAS A BACKUP DANCER AND HE NEVER DENIED THAT

    3. JERMAINE DUPRI USED TO DANCE FOR WHODINI

    NOBODY REALLY GIVES A S&%T WHAT YOU DID MAN
    JUST DONT BE A FAKE NIG AND DENY THAT

    JAY-Z=HAWAIAN SOPHIE. ANY TRUE HIP HOP HEADS REMEMBER THAT?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Young Jeezy used to work at Church’s Chicken?

      • http://www.asdf.com Hey

        I think he meant to say Jeezy ate at Church’s chicken.

      • BIGNAT

        no that was killer mike

  • DXL

    Rick ross is a dick head, so what if he was a C.O? That was back in 95 and he probably used to be that until he started dablling in drugs, a lot of hustling niggaz started around their 20s after having worked a couple of jobs, he’s really an asshole if he’s denying it cause with all these evidence it’ll show he’s nothing but a fraud.

    These rappers and their WWE stunts1

  • http://www.yahoo.com Dra$t-iQ Alkoholik

    yo this nigga can eat a dick,sick and tired of rappers coming up with fake personas but this nigga hit an all time low first claiming he a coke dealer when in actual fact he was C.O. but i never believed a word the nigga spit coz which dealer “testifies” to the world bout the shit he used to do.fat faggot

  • Maddolies

    “Push Em 2 The Prison” Damn Ross U Lying Fag!

  • Optimus Prime

    Umm… did anyone notice Takana Nigeria just arguably say something more Ghostface than Jonathan? I mean, really? Was there some sort of reference to Dick Floss in there that I missed or did he just impersonate a 5 year old trying to explain the Nigerian economy?

    And that church chicken line was hilarious, Bol.

  • grp03

    I was gonna post a comment, probably making fun of Bol, then i saw this dude above me had the name Optimus Prime and i just started laughing.

    Hey optimus, you ever see Clerks 2?

    • Optimus Prime

      Like heck yes I have!!

  • grp03

    Since were on the topic of posting screen names…

    Best name(s): Nigger……There I Said It, Optimus Prime

    Worst name: Yung Twezzy

    i mean, grp03 is nothing special, but yung twezzy is just terrible.

    • Optimus Prime

      In all fairness I should probably admit that Nigger….. There I Said It>>>>>>> Optimus Prime. That’s some funny shit

  • http://patkrovi.ru CЛACTEHA

    Занимательная статья, кстати автору хочу предложить установить от яндекс.денег фишку на сайт “Дай рубль”. Я бы дал, так сказать на поддержание. ;)

  • http://tabletru.com vataActinvand

    Увлекательно! Только не могу понять как часто обновляется блог?

  • http://www.bghghfdtzgdtzdsgceg.org Denna Ewert

    There is obviously a lot to identify about this. I think you made some nice points in features also.