NEGRO PLEASE: Noel Gallagher = Jay-Z’s Wonderwall

[Editor’s Note: “Blogger’s Note” has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]

Todayyyyy is gonna be the dayyyyy that I’m gonna tear into you.

“If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. If you start to break it then people aren’t going to go. I’m sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance… Glastonbury has a tradition of guitar music and even when they throw the odd curve ball in on a Sunday night you go ‘Kylie Minogue?’ I don’t know about it. But I’m not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It’s wrong.” -Noel Gallagher [of Oasis], BBC News

[Blogger’s Note: At some point every week I find myself singing "Wonderwall" in front of a grip of white folk, so I don’t see why this Jay-Z shit is too special. Tell Hova to meet me in Korea Town and we’ll do this proper-like.]

“Today is gonna be the day
That they’re gonna throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don’t believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don’t know how

Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You’re my wonderwall”
-Jay-Z, Live at Glastonbury Festival of Contemporary Performing Arts

As you can tell, 140,000 uproarious fans beg to differ with Mr. Gallagher.

Jay-Z’s tongue-in-ass cheek tribute to the Oasis guitarist and songwriter couldn’t have been any more appropriate. With the defiance of ten Soulja Boys at the Law & Order: SVU wrap party, Old Hov’ (I ain’t callin’ a nigga my mama age “young”) made sure No-No knew exactly how his ass tastes.

Hmmm. Maybe Soulja Boy should have just Cranked Dat Cop Killer.

I know Jay-Z doesn’t wear a bowl haircut, eyeliner or skinny jeans, but I’d think it still safe to classify his music as “Contemportary Performing Art,” which the Glastonbury festival was established to celebrate– Not “guitar music.” There’s no surprise here concerning the perpetual opposition, though. Bigots and douchebags of Noel Gallagher-proportion have always failed to give hip-hop its due as a form of art.

Even at its most latent, there’s plenty to be said for the songwriting abilities of rap artists. Having said that, Jay-Z in addition has continually embraced live instrumentation in his stage show and clearly exhibits respect for instrumental musicians. Gallagher being both a lyricist and an instrumental musician, I expect better.

Clearly I should not.

Yes, Oasis is a fun time when you’re feeling all drunk and whiny. “Wonderwall” is my go-to shit on Rock Band. I know I’m not the only one who enjoys reminiscing on what we were doing [algebra homework] allll the way back in 1994 when Oasis was poppin’ off. But for 90s Britpop Revue to throw Stonehenge (see what I did there?) at one of the greatest icons of “Contemporary Performing Art” is some shameful shit.

Why the hate? It’s not like Oasis couldn’t come to Rock The Bells and wow everyone in America with their already-classic (nice way of saying “old-ass nigga”) tunes that we only use for karaoke fodder.

Oh, wait. That’s right. They couldn’t.

Negro, please.

If this is about someone being out of place in a CONTEMPORARY arts festival, maybe Noel should spend a little more time in front of the full-length mirror. Nigga look like he was standing right there when John Lennon’s closet got its brains blown out.

That Austin Powers haircut and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not 1995 Anymore” sound need to spend about 20 minutes in Ho Check with Cinnamon and Delicious.

I prefer putting my hoes on timeout as opposed to utilizing my physicality. I’m not really a violent man.

Sounds to me like blokey’s a mite salty he didn’t get the G’bury–as we say in the hood–call himself this year. I couldn’t tell you why he’s mad, son. Shit. If I were him, I’d be hella proud to be a Karaoke Idol.

Instead of enjoying life, Mr. Gallagher [I respect my elders] pops shit and saltily watches Jiggaman rock one of the world’s largest music festivals (from home with his teenage children) wearing a look of disgust we haven’t seen since the streets of London were lined with garbage and feces.

Oh, wait. That was last year.

Fuck outta here.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Still don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: Good to see Memphis Bleek! I didn’t know they had Outback Steakhouse in Glastonbury.

  • LBDII

    Jigga Man.

    LMFAO over the Memph Bleek comment.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      ha. you might be the only one to get that.

      • Worley

        Nah, I caught it. In a certain movie (leave something for the youngsters to find out), Bleek goes on a food run while Jay and Q-Tip chop it up.

        “Old Hov’ (I ain’t callin’ a nigga my mama age ‘young’) made sure No-No knew exactly how his ass tastes”

        You a funny dude.

  • chad bro chill

    jay z likes the cock

  • Deez Nutz

    Jay-Z > the rest of hip hop
    Memphis Bleek > Arab

  • 239allday

    Rock could never compare to the artistry of hip hop. If the dude frome Oasis would examine some of the best rap lyrics I know he’d be sayin “Damn, These is some smart niggers”. Fuck rock and fuck the faux rockers with the wallet chains who are only into it cus its hot.

    • DevilintheFlesh

      I am a huge fan of hip hop but I think that is one of the most untrue statements I have ever read. All Hip-Hop ever will be is a derivative of rock.

      Jimmy Hendrix is prolly turning in his fucking grave after that comment.

      • D.

        Jimi Hendrix, u smart dumb ass…

        • 239allday

          @ DevilintheFlesh

          Hey cool rocker guy, Eat my dick and balls!

    • Tenderpants

      239 has to be the biggest moron ever… hip hop is so lame and recycled that it’s sampling itself now. jay is good for what it is but is nothing compared to oasis. hip hop feeds off rock. if there was no rock then you’d have no music to go with raps. i’m so tired of rappers first singles being about how much money they have. IT’S YOUR FIRST SINGLE YOU HAVE NO MONEY YET. real rap, real mc’ing was wu tang talking about what was really happening. ha, artisty of hip hop is right if by artistry you mean sucking on the tit of rock.

  • Deez Nutz

    Hey Ron Mexico…can we get an over/under on the life of DMX?

    (smdh at a his azz wanting to “smoke wooties in the staircase” Wu-Tang reference)

    Amy Winehouse=DMX

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      you got yourself a god-damned deal.

      i think woolahs are the least of the dark man’s problems.

      p.s.: the jury’s still out on bleek and arab. i mean if ‘rab comes out writing his own lyrics, he’s gotta transcend bleek status, no?

      • Deez Nutz

        Memphis>Spiff Star?

        Maybe thats another topic for you…GWCOAT (Greatest Weed Carrier of All Time)

        The trophy would be a 14kt Flavor Flav clcok…lmao

  • http://villematic.blogspot.com pi0neer

    Wtf is an Oasis?

    But Hova definitely showed some class in the way he handled the situation. They wanted guitar music, so that’s what he gave them.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      classy but sassy. no doubt.

  • KF

    Jayz Killed it.

    Theres always gonna be hate on hip hop but JayZ rocked a FIELD full of people who doubted.

    It was one of those HIP HOP is still alive moments.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      –and the church said “amen.”

  • Oneofthemyo’s

    First off thanks for giving me something to read today(as in a blog,there is still comic books)sad to say but b4 jay sung that wonderwall shit i never heard of it and thought oasis was one of them rock bands that jack REGGAE music.
    So 2 summarise your article for me; fuck a oasis and props to jay for still breaking down barriers for niggas who hate on him, i.e some of his peers.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      you’re welcome, mane. any time.

      that’s not sad to say. there’s plenty reason to NOT know this song despite what noel gallagher thinks of himself.

      and nah… this ain’t a fuck “oasis” deal. liam gallagher (lead singer) usually doesn’t agree with his brother. i’m not gonna let him speak for the entire band. he’s just a bitter asshole.

      jay definitely does what you say.

  • http://www.myspace.com/friscorepresenter ant

    Joe budden>jayz

    Ok im reachen a lil bit

    If Arab writes his own lyrics he shuld pass memphis bleek to Spliff Star status

  • Pierzy

    The fact that Jay-Z was willing to do that shows more nuts than 99% of people in the world. The fact that he pulled it off brilliantly further proves how clever it really was… Props to Jigga

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    Jay-Z is the greatest rapper of all time…

  • $ykotic

    Good post.

    Actions like this show that even with a historical event like Obama running the U.S., racism seems like it is being paroled and ready to hit the streets again.

    Bleek just can’t get any love, huh? LOL

    Anybody have any updates on sohh.com?

    XXL watch out!!!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/friscorepresenter ant

    Besides nahrights comment section(them niggas never stay on topic..shits funny as hell) this blogs the funniest shit 2 read on the net

  • H-LO

    “Don’t be the next contestant on that Glastonbury Screen” – Great. That Oasis guys should have known better, starting beef with a King of New York… cool was going from wonderwall (Noell) into “if you’re having girl problems I feel bad for ya son…). OK, the first two Oasis records are certified classics, but I guess Jay long overtook them in terms of alltime hot status (from a neutral point of view).

    The concert had some magic moments: esp. the section with ‘I Know’ moving into ‘Minority Report’ a capella with the fuck bush ending or the old school freestyle going into ‘Blue Magic’; ‘Sexcuse me Miss’ and ‘Show me what you got’ (often considered lowlights in his catalogue) created a surreal atmosphere. No need to mention his standards…
    Coul become a (small) landmark concert.

  • Michael

    Obviously Noel is an idiot (though he’s actually the smart brother in the group, lucky for us Liam is to drunk to speak). But the same way Noel shouldn’t comment on hip hop is the same way hip-hop shouldn’t comment on Oasis or rock in general. Yes Oasis have been past their prime for about a decade now, (though their last album was pretty damn good) Definetley maybe and (Whats The Story) morning glory are two of the best albums of the modern era, like their attitudes or not. Their essentialy the British Aerosmith, WOnderwall being their Dream ON and Live Forever being their Walk this way.

  • henry

    i like oasis but noel shouldnt have said that but didnt everyone notice jay-z cant sing for shit

  • gerald n. the birdman

    “(I ain’t callin’ a nigga my mama age “young”)”

    Your MAMA WAS A HIGH SCHOOL WHORE!!

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