In semi-defense of hipster rap

Poor hipster rappers. Their movement has hardly been around long enough to produce a worthwhile LP, and already they’re taking heat from all angles. I can’t help but be compelled to defend them, to a certain degree, just I because I think rappers should be judged on their ability to rap first, then ancillary issues like their perceived sexuality.

I already brought you fruits the story about how this guy Mazzi broadsided a bunch of hipster cats like the Cool Kids and Jay Electronica, only to be mocked viciously by some other hipster rapper no one ever heard of named Mic Terror.

Mazzi was pissed that hipster rappers have been running around with these terrorist scarves around their necks, though obviously it never occurred to him the hypocrisy of an Arab guy who’s taken on elements of hip-hop, i.e. black culture, getting upset with people in hip-hop taking on elements of Arab culture.

This is only semi-related, but I’m wondering what it is with people from Iran insisting they be called Persians rather than Arabs, which has been one of the main sticking points in this mess. Is there an actual difference between a Persian and an Arab, other than that one is from Iran and the other is from Iraq? And if not, wouldn’t that be roughly tantamount to black people from Chicago insisting on being referred to as Chicag-ites? That doesn’t make any sense, on a number of levels.

They both hail from the Middle East, and they both hate Jews. As far as I’m concerned, that makes Persians and Arabs more or less the same. Granted I get the whole thing about respecting people’s culture, and how the president not understanding the level of tribal bloodlust in Iraq has led to the clusterfuck that country is today, but it’s not like people who aren’t from Alaska have to know all 100 different terms the Eskimos have for snow.

But I digress.

If I was one of these hipster rappers, I’d be more concerned with the fact that that terrorist scarf around your neck shit makes you look like a fruit. Seriously. What kind of black man in his right mind wears the same shit around his neck as motherfucking Rachel Ray? Is this what the rampant lack of fathers in black households has led to? What’s next, gold chains with EVOO medallions?

*shudders at the thought*

The same thing goes for walking around tight-ass pants, trying to get people to look at the imprint of your cock and balls. I’m sure a lot of chicks find that shit sexy (well, naturally), similar to how you see a lot of black women taking up with DL brothers, purposely willing themselves into thinking they don’t take it up the coat, when the evidence is right there on the surface.

Not that I can fault a brother for doing what it takes to get some stank on his hanglow, short of actually taking the pussy, which I can’t condone, either legally or morally. But one of the reasons hip-hop always appealed to me, on a personal level, was the idea that a black man could succeed in the bedroom despite a woman’s ego.

Take for example the way the Notorious B.I.G. would continuously “upgrade” – from his baby’s mother (yikes), to Lil’ Kim, to Faith Evans, to Charli Baltimore. If Suge Knight wouldn’t have had him assassinated, Biggie almost certainly would have made the leap to banging actual white chicks. I’m certain of it. And he was arguably even more fucked up-looking than I am!

And you didn’t see Biggie walking around with his bulge on display, now did you?

But like I said, you don’t hate on another man just for the shit he wears. The real reason we ought to be concerned with these hipster rappers is not so much because they don’t take Biggie’s position on the eternal struggle to bring a woman back down where she belongs (just like Obama did Hillary Clinton), but because these fruits can’t rap like Biggie, either.

For a few reasons, it’s become obvious to me in the past couple of weeks that this whole hipster rap movement is just as much about marketing as it is anything else. For all we know, these kids might not even like dressing like fruits.

The other day, the Cool Kids released their Bake Sale EP, and the general consensus was that the shit was mediocre. The only person I can think of who was really that gung ho about it was Tom Breihan, and you know how he gets down. Then a week later, that week’s Soundscan figures came out, and come to find out, the shit only sold like 4,300 copies.

As I remarked at the time, I’m pretty sure even I could put out a rap album and sell more copies than that. (I might need to go into the studio anyway, so I can ether Dice Raw. Record labels, holler at your boy.) Shit, even Donny Goines could’ve sold like 4,400 copies, if he convinced everyone in the comments section over at Nah Right to pick up a copy. (Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit.)

Which begs the question, if that’s the extent of the commercial interest in the Cool Kids (and I hate to keep harping on them, but I gotta be at work in a little bit), why is it that we keep hearing about them, rather than any number of other bum-ass internet niggas? It’s obviously the clothes. Take Donny Goines, change his name to Donny Fresh and put some nutsack pants on him, and he’d probably be all over Pitchfork.

It’s no wonder people are getting tired of hearing about this shit. This is some of the more egregious bullshit since that month back in 2005 when the TIs tried to convince us that Houston rap was gonna be the proverbial new ska. Except there’s even less of a commercial justification, since white kids in New York and Chicago are better at using the Internets than people in the South.

That being said, at least this shit is drawing on better influences than that Houston rap shit. And I do kinda feel like the level of vitriol against hipster rap in this corner of the Internets has been a bit much recently. I get the argument against hipster rap, but I wonder if it’s really in our best interest to hate on it too hard before it has a chance to even flourish.

It’s not like there’s a whole lot else worthwhile going on.

  • Persian

    Persian people are not the same as Arabics. That’d be like calling a Canadian person American.

    • you serious?

      are you for real? tell me how canadians are any different from americans. you coulda came up with a different analogy than that. canada is basically north usa. all of their cities border the u.s. or are close enough. everything else is frozen tundra up in that bitch.

      • Neven

        Canada is a lot different than the US. Propaganda is the majority of it all we Canadians don’t use media and music to control what the people think. that frozen tundra you talk about that I live in. produces more millionaires in Canada than rap does in the states and it’s where you get the gas. Canadians take pride in there country. States people do nothin but bitch about the way their country is goin. The only Americans that came close to be Canadian mentality is the Alaskans and most of them don’t even like the south states.

        I cosign Perisan on saying that. Cause if you called me an American I would go off on you even more.

        still respect the people of North America we are just different in many many ways

      • Valdez

        Canada actually IS North America (see the North American Union: USA, Canada & Mexico). This will soon be followed by the American Union, which will consist of North, Central & South America all being the same “country”, regardless of the meaningless boundary lines you see on a map. Just like the European Union and the African Union.

        So really, in effect, the globe only consists of like 6 or 7 “countries” at this point. That’s correct, the new world order unfolding right before our very eyes.

        I’ll bet most people haven’t heard the term “American Union”. What do think the purpose could posibly be for all these “unions”?

        That’s right, u guessed it.

        The inevitable one-world gov’t is on the horizon!

        http://www.myspace.com/valdezent
        http://www.myspace.com/valdezent
        http://www.myspace.com/valdezent

    • The Voice of Reason

      you mean to tell me canadaians and americans are not the same?

    • Ives say LeRaw

      when i first heard the Coo-Kitties what immediately struck me was that their sound-i had heard it before.Same when i first heard Amy ‘get yo hands off my’ Wine bottle.Creative-but not really original.

  • dubbzz

    Good read…Bol, do you think you can single handedly save xxxlmagdotcom?

    • Deez Nutz

      I make get on Bol’s back at times (n/h) but thats because I hold him (n/h) to a higher standard…he is the star of this damn site regardless if it pains me to say it…now manute you need to stray away from this gay azz topics such as hipster rap…nobody cares about these borderline pansies…stick to current events Bol that we care about…the Wanye/DJ fiasco was good…talking about Jay Z “replacement” would of been a better topic today…the greatest label in hip hop history…will it resurge or be out like hillary…STEP IT UP MANUTE OR NOBODY WILL BE VISITING THIS GOD AWFUL SITE ANYMORE…NOT EVEN FOR YOU

      • Deez Nutz

        I would be remiss if i didnt mention Carl “R Kelly bust my” Cherry or whatever his name is…he’s has stepped it up…his post be short but i like his topics…he’s sorta like the retarded kid at school thats you know you shouldn’t laugh at but occasionally say something funny so it makes it alright to laugh *closing window in hopes of dodging lightning*

    • DevilintheFlesh

      I gaurantee that at least 60% of this sites traffic hits Bols blog. I dont read it for the news because its always about a week late. Cherry has stepped his game up but the features, videos and music is usually wacker den a mug.

  • African In the South

    Nah, not even Bol can save xxlmagdotcom. I only come here to read what the bloggers have to say. And they keep kicking bloggers out left and right in this motherfucka!!! But the post was pretty good.

    • Rizob

      yeah, once Noz got outted, shit was a wrap. but anywho, Hipster rap is dead, nobody cares cause you dress funny and think you are smarter because of it, spend more time on actually rapping than picking out the tightest pair of jeans you find…

      • yo

        Thank you.

  • FLIP

    LMAO @ “Donny Fresh”

  • Keith Hawk

    I’m sure Biggie had his way with a number of white chicks.

    Good post.

  • Real Rap

    Rizoh you are fucking idiot, stop it, no one is going to ride with you nyoil please drink a bleach smoothie.

  • http://www.myspace.com/donnygoines Donny Goines

    Yeah I gotta admit that Donny Fresh was a good one lol. You do gotta point tho homie. Image over substance these days, thats just what it is…..

  • malik bukaii

    I must say for all those who are listening that it’s all about the lyrics! Admittedly i’m not a big fan of the folks mentioned, but I can attest to the uniqueness of the stuff i’m hearing. I remember a few years back cats were “throwin” dre 3000 around, but on the real son can’t be touched lyrically. Another example would take an opposing position and add that cats like Obie Trice, Talib, and the likes are not “flashy” dudes, but spit that lyrical that we all love hip hop for. So i agree that the look is different for the aforementioned, but as long as the spit is right….they can live…na’mean….

    oh yeah don’t forget Common either. folks were on some “badu turned him out” type ish cuz he changed his appearance. Son still had that lyrical either way tho’

    strange name dude’

  • detroitgirl

    i think Faith is cuter than Charli.

  • Jamon

    ^^^ “what it is with people from Iran insisting they be called Persians rather than Arabs, which has been one of the main sticking points in this mess. Is there an actual difference between a Persian and an Arab, other than that one is from Iran and the other is from Iraq?”

    Come on BOL,alright it’s time to educate, Iranians don’t even speak Arabic they speak Farsi (Persian), and Persians hail from another part of the world, I believe North East Asia, religion and location are really the only aspects that links these two groups together.

    Other then that, I damn near soiled myself from that Donny Fresh comment.

    • $ykotic

      Persia was the original name for Iran(they changed it in 1935). They dominated the “Eurasian” map back then(didn’t anyone see 300?)

      Pick up an old world atlas.

      But goddamn people EVERYBODY cannot be the same!

      Even nerds(sorry Pharrell) and cornballs wanna rap!

      But yes it has gotta be good.

      And since most people do the ‘net these days do you guys @ xxl even profit off the mags?

      I mean besides the pictures and payola?
      Did TVT pay ya’ll??

  • .tony.

    nutsack pants!
    lol

  • lookadeez

    Bol, your on point with this one, especially that point about Mazzi being an arab kid assimilating Black culture but not seeing the irony in his whole bullshit.

    I wanna stand up for Hipster rap, but it’s hard with no good songs to speak of. The fashion doesn’t bother me, it’s just that, that’s all it seems to be about.

    Wait, they do have some hits and heroes to speak of: Kanye and Pharell. They are the ultimate hipsters, they just happen to make good music. I guess yu could throw Lupe in there, in the sense that he is fashionable, and he came out talking about skateboards (as if he actually rode one)

    I support the hipsters for being different and not wearing pants that fall off their asses. They do need a new hero that can actually rap though.

    And Mazzi sucks, no matter what he calls his style, it aint hiphop, it’s trash!

  • avenger xl

    The only thing I am tired of is.

    1. Swag and Movements
    2. People dissing hiphop when it does anything but straight boring so called boom bap shit
    3. dudes beefing for pulicity
    4. stans
    5. closed minded motherfuckers

    So called hipster hop is just as relevant as anything else why can’t we just have different shit going on in our culture or are we that stupid as a people that we have to hold shit to a stagnet point until it just dies from lack of any kinda change. Everyone who hates the cool kids are also probably bitching about the south, thugs and dance music. Look listen to what you like wear what you want and shut the fuck up.

    Man up stop being stans and bitches

  • lookadeez

    and another thing- the mainstream gangster rap shit is waaaay more gay than hipster rap anyway.
    All these dudes buying gawdy jewelry, sometimes for each other, calling womane gold diggers n they want a chain. That’s ass backwards. If 50 aint gay I don’t know what is.

    And Biggie wore them ugly ass gay ass Versace shirts! Them shits are still gay!

  • Club Med

    Dudes in the DC area used to wear those terrorist scarves back in the late 90′s, albeit not accompanied by the snuggy pants. Tight ass ankle cuffs on your jeans used to get you joned on. I imagine wearing nut huggers would have got you stabbed. Back then we weren’t that understanding about that type of stuff. Apparently though times have changed and alot of these young men feel it’s cool to wear clothing more befitting a female. It reminds of that Boondocks episode when the DL rapper releases a clothing line. They’re just a bunch of rock and roll gangstas.

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    You see that gay ass tight pants shit in NYC too man. These gay dudes must be getting confused like that South Park episode.

    Fashion fancy pants ass niggaz will wear any new hot fashion for the pussy and that is cool if they are getting quality pussy, but they not. They getting with the bitches that keep up on hood fashions like that shit is important.

    Biggie had on a Versace shirt, but that shit was baggy. Back then, niggaz didn’t even know what Versace was until he started rapping about it. If you rocking fashions that regular niggaz can’t fuck with, then that ain’t no fancy pants fashion shit. That’s just being in a different space all together.

    Let these fashion fancy pants niggaz have their culture though because it adds to the different genres of hip hop. When there is a monopoly on what can be said, hip hop gets stagnant and lame. First it was the over gangsta shit, then it was the over neo soul shit, now we are on some over anything Lil Wayne and his copies does shit. Niggaz need variety dude.

  • render

    the problem with hipster rap is that its straight up trend riding. these lil niggas are wearin ‘retro’ cuban link chains and rockin 4 finger rings like its some ironic fashion statement.

    that aint paying homage or being original. it’s a fashion statement. If you listen to what these dudes are saying on tracks, its no different than what niggas like jim jones are spitting. Same ole fresh to death music which would be fine if these dudes were anything but average rappers.

    This shit aint underground and it aint the new music. It’s the same old music, repackaged, rebranded and resold to dumbass internet kids that want to be different.

  • allreal

    This is terrible writing. I can deal with blogging in ebonics if the content is clever, but I honestly feel less intelligent for having read that.

  • ill_fittin

    What’s next, gold chains with EVOO medallions?

    lmao… that rachel ray bitch needs to put on her arab scarf and go on a suicide mission.
    Long live that guy from License To Grill

  • giantstepp

    For all we know, these kids might not even like dressing like fruits.

    LMAO! You a fool for that 1 Bol!

  • Fresh

    Truth be told, it doesn’t really matter how these dudes dress what it really comes down to is, can they spit? The answer in some cases is no but not in all. The measure of how well someone can rap is not always in direct correlation to how they dress i.e. Andre 3000 who dresses like a space cowboy but who could whoop anyone’s ass in a street battle. If Mickey Rocks was spitting like Jay-Z, then we wouldn’t give a fuck about being able to see his nuts. Lil Boosie and Webbie dress pretty “hip-hop” but they can’t rap for shit. Just some thoughts.

    http://www.freshfeature.com

  • john

    bol. i hate you. but in the way that you hate your little brother.. so im leaving this comment cause i know xxl is this close to firing you and you need the numbers. you still the best blogger out there man.. this site or otherwise

  • M

    OhWord had a post on this recently, and it forced me to meditate on exactly what a hipster is, seeing as it’s such a hard term to define. i shall copy-paste, so pardon me (duke) if you’ve read already.

    when i think of hipsters i think of grungy manhattan white guys who don’t see anything wrong with getting a blowjob from a male friend every now and again, and is willing to do whatever it takes to be “different” from the crowd – which entails making and pretending to enjoy music that is obviously awful to anybody with one ear and enough integrity to fill a shot glass, and the occasional vacation in Rainbow Town. Hipsters seem to me to be an offshoot of the metrosexual of the early ’00s, except they’ve extended that desire to seem different to music and fashion on top of sexuality. just like Judas Priest, a band fronted by an openly gay man, pretty much invented heavy metal as we know it, and inspired a whole nation of metalheads to wear the kind of outfits that wouldn’t look out of place at the Blue Oyster without them even knowing that they’re dressing like gay people, i think that’s happening here, albeit on a much smaller level.

  • Lost Nino

    God – or should I say Allah? Bol, you’re really f*@king stupid. You question people who’s desire it is to be refered to as Persians and not Arabs (it goes the other way too, by the way). I mean black folk refere to themself differently all the time: once they’re this and the moment you’ve got used to calling them that they have changed their mind and want to be called differently.

  • Phil

    You cats are too impatient. The Cool Kids are only the beginning. And I hardly looked to them for lyrical feats of superstrength, but on a hot summer day with your dudes cruisin down the pike to a party…the Cool Kids definitely set the tone for that. I am surprised at the limited vision of the blog writer, though.

    All I got to say, really tho, is two words:
    JAY ELECTRONICA.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin

    Jay Electronica is a hipster rapper? what the fuck and when did that happen? I fucks wit Jay Electronica shit heavy, but i neva took him as a hipster though…..

    i don’t think these dudes are in it to be the most lyrical, they just makin reality-based feel-good music….. some people can fuck wit it, others won’t…. it’s the beauty of individuality!!!

    • Phil

      Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I did not say that Jay Elect was a “hipster”. He’s a NEW MC, which is just what really need these days. He’s a bit beyond most of these other cats in my opinion, but everyone has their place in my Taste Folder. I did cop the Bake Sale and it sounds great on a Saturday afternoon, let me tell you, lol…The Knux are gonna be nice, I’m not sure about Mickey Factz or Kidz In The Hall, though. I’ll need a few more songs from both before I render a verdict.

      But, all in all, I don’t care about labels like “hipster rap”, lol. That’s what the MASSES and RETAIL needs to quickly and efficiently promote, sell, and for the audience, ingest, a new product. Not that serious to me. Sheeeit, I remember when De La Soul was going nuts when cats wouldn’t stop calling them “hippie rappers” and took their “D.A.I.S.Y.-age” concept waaaaay too far in the media. Those guys were just on some different shit, and I loved it as much as I loved M.O.P.! Just rhyme from the heart and you’re good with me, fuck it.

  • Rae Tha Great

    I fucks with Jay and The Cool Kids all day. But people are intitled to their fucking statements. Peace Cop the Bake Sale that shit is hot.

  • chad bro chill

    all this firing is getting me aroused
    bol if you get fired take me to whatever planet you go to afterwards

    and biggie was ugly but your still worse

    • Deez Nutz

      HA!!! Oh no he didn’t! Dems fighting words!

  • Maxington

    Gay: wearing baggy jeans with no shirt and your underwear sticking out all greased up and tatted up in your videos

    Not Gay: wearing clothes that fit properly

    Gay: making songs about your ‘rivals’ and trying to discredit or ruin their reputation like females

    Not Gay: making songs about bicycles and skateboards

  • matt

    Cool Kids, Kid Sister, Spank Rock, Amanda Blank are dope rappers. Their shit is a higher verbal dexterity and usually quicker release than most shitty rappers, typically from Atlanta or the south, today.

  • Combat Jack

    classic bol post. lol.

  • RubeksCube

    i guess people forget that DJ premier is from Houston….Houston has other shit then whats played on the radio and videos….

  • HU

    Enough has been said about most of your post, Bol so I just wanted to say that blacks from Chicago should be called “Chica-gites”. I’m from Minnesota and I can definitely say that blacks from Chicago are another species. They are easy to spot on these Minneapolis streets. Most of them talk like retards, are covered in tattoos, smoke “blacks”, and look inbred. I have met numerous criminals from Chicago and I just wanted to put it out that Minnesota is tired of being shit on by Chicago. Does anyone know why people from Chicago look strange (short, fat, dumb) and act like coons?

  • hollywood_p

    “The same thing goes for walking around tight-ass pants, trying to get people to look at the imprint of your cock and balls. I’m sure a lot of chicks find that shit sexy (well, naturally), similar to how you see a lot of black women taking up with DL brothers, purposely willing themselves into thinking they don’t take it up the coat, when the evidence is right there on the surface.”

    THATS ONE VERY SUSPECT PARAGRAPH MR BOL SIR

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin

    lmaooo@tag “teh gayness”

  • http://xxlmag.com Johnny Fontaine

    @ HU,you must live on the S/S talking like that about “them Chi” niggas .Plus add to the fact that we’re on the net having this discussion concerning them.U “Soda” niggas have no swagger if it wasnt for people moving into this cold muthafucka you’d probably be dressed like a farmer and shit.I remeber when no suburb in that bitch even subscribed to BET til 97.

  • http://nonthreateningblackmale.blogspot.com/ LOL

    hipster rap is gay

  • Valdez

    The little bit of shit I’ve heard from the kidz in the hall was kinda bumpin….

  • ty from linden blvd

    kidz in the hall would be considered “hipster hop”cause their new album is dope.

    the cool kidz are alright from what i’ve heard and thats not a lot.

    would lupe be considered hipster hop as well?what about kanye?two of my favorite artist.however,i do not wear skin tight jeans…..

  • sgilly91

    The real issue here is the ignorance of Byron Crawford in making the generalisation about Iranians and Iraqis as ‘They both hail from the Middle East, and they both hate Jews.’ This is what mainstream Hip Hop has done- made the whole scene an advert for ignorance and pulled the black community of the United States back to coonery, dancing and singing for little suburban white kids. Also regarding the hipster thing- it really doesn’t matter how a rapper dresses surely the main thing they should be judged on is their skills and lyrical content.