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Soulja Boy Got Robbed, Son!

I’ll never buy a Soulja Boy record. Sure, I may have cranked that once or thrice on a drunk night, but the kid’s still isn’t on the iPod.

I’m into headphone music, lyrical stuff like Andre 3000, Nas, Common and them. Soulja Boy? Not so much. The kid is trash. He sucks! But he’s hot. Just like Nelly sucked in 2000, but sold like 9 million records. That being said, Soulja Boy got robbed, son. He should have been on MTV’s “Hottest MC In The Game” list. He’s dumpster! But he got robbed at gunpoint. I don’t know that Buttahman dude, but props to him for keeping it funky. When debating Soulja Boy’s inclusion on the list, my co-captain J-Rod said something like, “he’s successful, but he’s not hot.” Respectfully, I beg to differ. Being so successful is partly why this kid got so hot.

“Crank That” topped the Billboard charts for seven weeks last year. The single broke ringtone records. He’s the only “ringtone” rapper to go gold. He got nominated for a Grammy. The freakin’ dance had everybody from little white ballet kids, Barney the purple dinosaur, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Natalie Portman and Kelly Ripa trying to do it. Then, them “Crank That Batman” kids straight up jacked dude.

I mean, Soulja Boy isn’t exactly becoming the cameo king, but he’s slowly appearing on more songs, including Fergie’s “Clumsy” remix, V.I.C’s “Get Silly,” Bow Wow and Omarion’s “Girlfriend” remix and Tyra B’s “Get It Poppin,” among many others. I personally don’t remember hearing a single one of them joints, but these folks want him on their record, so I’m guessing it means something.

We’re not exactly seeing other kids wearing his goofy ass glasses, but he’s sparking conversations. “What does ‘Superman that hoe’ mean? I heard Soulja Boy got a girl pregnant? This gabbage ass kid had the nerve to diss the GZA? Did you hear about Soulja Boy’s bus getting attacked? Good! Deshawn Stevenson invited Soulja Boy at the Wizards/Cavs game to get at Lebron James.” He’s definitely talked about. He went on the little kiddie tour with Bow Wow, Chris Brown, Sean Kingston and them. He got a cartoon, shades and sneakers coming out. There’s no way ten MC’s had more going on since the last MTV list. No way!

I just bumped into my boy Roberto. His argument was that Soulja Boy is not hip-hop. He’s not an MC. Agreed! I don’t go around throwing the MC tag at everybody, but Jim Jones made the list last year and he’ll be the first to tell you he’s not an MC, let alone a rapper. If we’re being literal in honoring MC’s here, then leave the kid off. But then you better put Andre 3000 and Nas at the top. I hope MTV clearly lists “hot” criteria next time. For now, it just seems like members of the Brain Trust chime in with individual definitions of what’s hot. I’d like to see them come up with one clearly universal definition. It’s too loose right now. We may not like Soulja Boy, but a whole lot of people do. He’s hot whether we like it or not and he should have made the list. Speak on it.

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