Nick Cannon Vs. Ray J
I guess it’s safe to say that Nick Cannon isn’t corny anymore. And if he still is, then I wanna be like him when I grow up.According to Latina.com, Cannon and Mariah Carey “impulsively” jumped the broom earlier this week. Unfortunately, you read right. This is no typo! He’s done it again. I’m not easily impressed by another man’s resume, but Nicholas just keeps pulling dimes out of his derriere. Nobody’s doing it bigger than him right now, except maybe Ray J, of course. Between the two of them, these corn buckets have boned a whole lot of screen savers. Wilt Chamberlain (R.I.P.) would be proud. But who has the upper hand? Let’s take a look at their stat sheets.Ray J: Keyshia Cole (allegedly), Kim Kardashian, Lil’ Kim, Karrine “Superhead” Steffans, Whitney Houston.Nick Cannon: Christina Millian, Selita Ebanks, Kim Kardashian, Mariah Carey.Verdict: This contest actually isn’t that tough to call. Nick just bodies Ray with consistency. Ray’s partly quantity over quality, actually. He just got sloppy with his. Lil’ Kim? She looks like Latoya Jackson. Even the Hardcore or Notorious K.I.M versions are bums compared to these other chicks. Scoring Whitney circa Bodyguard would have been a huge coup, but he bagged her post Bobby Brown when she started looking like Dookie‘s mother.On the flip side, Cannon just doesn’t dip below dime level. I know one of you fa’ nooks referred to Selita Ebanks as a “praying mantis,” but I bet you’d beat given the chance. I suspect that Cannon is a sucker for love, though. Dude proposed to Ebanks only nine weeks into their dating. And word is he first met Carey on the set of “Bye Bye,” which he recently directed, so dude is a freakin’ speed dater. Nonetheless, he’s pulling em’. What do you think, fellers? Given the chance, who would you take to the crib? The good thing is you’d get to beat Kardashian regardless. But I wouldn’t touch Lil’ Kim with a 10-foot pole if I’m holding with gloves, so I’m riding with Nick Cannon. Pause! Speak on it!