Nick Cannon Vs. Ray J

I guess it’s safe to say that Nick Cannon isn’t corny anymore. And if he still is, then I wanna be like him when I grow up.According to, Cannon and Mariah Carey “impulsively” jumped the broom earlier this week. Unfortunately, you read right. This is no typo! He’s done it again. I’m not easily impressed by another man’s resume, but Nicholas just keeps pulling dimes out of his derriere. Nobody’s doing it bigger than him right now, except maybe Ray J, of course. Between the two of them, these corn buckets have boned a whole lot of screen savers. Wilt Chamberlain (R.I.P.) would be proud. But who has the upper hand? Let’s take a look at their stat sheets.Ray J: Keyshia Cole (allegedly), Kim Kardashian, Lil’ Kim, Karrine “Superhead” Steffans, Whitney Houston.Nick Cannon: Christina Millian, Selita Ebanks, Kim Kardashian, Mariah Carey.Verdict: This contest actually isn’t that tough to call. Nick just bodies Ray with consistency. Ray’s partly quantity over quality, actually. He just got sloppy with his. Lil’ Kim? She looks like Latoya Jackson. Even the Hardcore or Notorious K.I.M versions are bums compared to these other chicks. Scoring Whitney circa Bodyguard would have been a huge coup, but he bagged her post Bobby Brown when she started looking like Dookie‘s mother.On the flip side, Cannon just doesn’t dip below dime level. I know one of you fa’ nooks referred to Selita Ebanks as a “praying mantis,” but I bet you’d beat given the chance. I suspect that Cannon is a sucker for love, though. Dude proposed to Ebanks only nine weeks into their dating. And word is he first met Carey on the set of “Bye Bye,” which he recently directed, so dude is a freakin’ speed dater. Nonetheless, he’s pulling em’. What do you think, fellers? Given the chance, who would you take to the crib? The good thing is you’d get to beat Kardashian regardless. But I wouldn’t touch Lil’ Kim with a 10-foot pole if I’m holding with gloves, so I’m riding with Nick Cannon. Pause! Speak on it!

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  • Be a Nigger Too

    Nigga you craaaazy. Lil Kim is still fuckable, just wear latex…

  • ron mexico

    that’s a no-brainer. cannon all the way.

    ray j’s stable is anchored by kim k. but the rest of the team is second string at best. lil kim? whitney houston? superhead?

    first of all… why you even countin superhead? even YOU been with superhead, carl. that’s a free throw. a one-and-one. a meet-n-beat.

  • TMB

    Way to step it up Jackpot — I think you got it about right — Nick is the winner in this competition. Plus he’s got more $$$, sorry, just thinking like a woman!

  • ron mexico

    …and nick cannon is still corny. mariah is in serious danger of corn by association.

    she better keep that nigga out of her bidness.

    though i think she’d actually eat up half the red team in the wildstyle battle.

  • CHUN

    Mariah Carey is nasty. Never. All of the rest are good except Whitney now.

  • KQ

    nick cannon wins easy. christina milian, mariah and kim k. shiiiiit! how can you beat that?

  • Pierzy

    I really thought Nick Cannon was gay. But if you compare the two resumes, he bodies Ray J. It’s not even close.

  • Deez Nutz

    “All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don’t break ‘em for no one, jou understand?”

    (hint, hint)

  • 1st down

    Funny post, co-sign on lil kim. Finally xxl has another blogger besides bol and billy x worth a shit.

    • Rizob

      Nicca, PLEASE! Noz is the GOAT of this site, Bol is just a shock-blogger and Billy X just dickride Bol…..

  • dunn dunn


  • Billy X. Sunday

    quiet as kept I think Ray J also beat out Brandy

  • DakotaJones

    I’m about to quit this blog. There is nothing in it for the ladies. lol

  • Sleepy Wonder

    Going With Cannon On This One

  • syncity

    eww…i dunno. nick does have prettier girls. im still wondering why selita was ever a victoria secret model?


    P.Diddy ethers Nick Cannon and Ray J: Diddy===========> J.Lo
    Diddy===============>Penelope Cruz
    Diddy=============Every Mixed Supermodel or video vixen that is half-Black,Half-Latina
    anyways u gotta take points off of Ray-J for being a limelight seeker and take points off of Nick Cannon for letting some goofy lookin dude named Dre from “Cool & Dre” put the HandCuffs on Silver Dollar ass Christina Milian. O.N.E.

  • FafieSon

    I dunno…Mariah has been going crazy since Tommy. So her marrying Nick is no surprise. Ray J is corny as hell…if you giving cudos for “f”ing Superhead and Whitney, then you must not get any pu$$y. But I must give it up to Nick, he do be pulling in some dimes. He on the comeup!!

  • epsilonicus

    I would definitely say Cannon wins. Ray J got Kim K but he fucked two straight-up hoes and a crackhead. I hope Ray J gets tested.

    I give Nick Cannon props. He must have some serious game to pull Mariah. Mariah only wants dudes with tons of cash (Matolla).

  • master cheef

    *in gangsta grillz mixtape voice*


  • k swanger

    I gotta go with Nick on this one…Ray J seems like he tries to hard to be cool…

    You can pull any broad if you show up on TV every now and then…

    They want to say that they fucked that dude on Tv.

  • Sinistah aka 7Body Sin aka The Anti-Wack

    i’d be a happy man to bone at least 1/4th of their collective resume`s,

    lmaoo@Whitney lookin Dooky’s moms was a bit harsh, and plus she from Da Brick’s so she still gets a pass for her Super Bowl Performance from da 90′s, but dat shit was funny…..

    Nick Cannon snags some bad one’s while Ray J’s selection comes secondary to stacking stats!!!!

    N.C. wins!!!!

  • jaclyn

    umm yea rayj should of had kept whitney on the low yuck old and a crack head but kim k she got it i ant even gay and nick cannon i ant feelin him and mariah shes gotten old she wanna be wit sumthing young so when her pussy iz rotten plus she wants to shine in the young lime light

  • gsnyebum005

    haha this blog got me crackin up crazy man but i go wit nick same wit most of yalls.. bout damn time xxl came back to life

  • Cristola

    Ha-Ha, jus a simple case of proving who got more game,hell we(MALES) do it all the time it don’t hurt to know who got better “G”, either way I would like to thank both them for keeping grown, sexy, women straight maybe even bye. HOLLA, TAUNTON,MA