News Flash! Lil Wayne Is Not On Syrup!

Well, got dammit…I done fucked around and succumbed to doing something I vowed I’d never do on this blog…

Write about Lil Wayne.

Not that I hate dude. Not that I don’t think he can rap. Not that I’m aloof to the fact that he is probably the most dick-rode popular rapper in the game right now. None of that.

Quite simply, I don’t have much to say about the dude. I thought it would be a waste of time to talk about Wayne. Mostly because I was giving folks the benefit of the doubt in thinking that some people might be tired of hearing of and about dude. But judging from what goes down around these parts and many other places and sites, people love to see the dude. They love to praise him, they love to hate him, they love to talk about him, they love to read about him. The world wants as much Weezy as they can possibly stomach. So here it is, my attempt to get a rise out readers and pad my comments speak on someone that I thought everything had already been said about.

NEWS FLASH FUCKERS! LIL WAYNE IS NOT ON SYRUP!

Lil Wayne and his “syrup addiction” has to be the lamest topic in Hip Hop right now, if ever.

Yesterday when I was going to a jazz festival downtown, I ran into an associate. The conversation started with the usual “whats up dude, whats going on” talk. That’s usually the basis of conversations that people in the media have. Shit like “what you got coming, what you working on.” After a couple minutes of that, dude asked me what I thought about Lil Wayne’s “syrup addiction.”

Had this been a nigga I didn’t know, I would have just said “I don’t give a fuck about that shit.” But since I knew and respected dude’s mind and knew for a fact that he was capable of holding a conversation about something more relevant and important I went on ahead and entertained the query.

I told him exactly what I’m about to share with you. This nigga is not addicted to no fucking syrup.

No, I’m not a doctor. No, I don’t hang with the fella. But got damn though…

If this nigga is addicted to syrup like he says he is. Why isn’t he gaining any weight? I mean, not at least a little bit?

Every other time I see this nigga he has his shirt off. You don’t see Paul Wall, Mike Jones or any other Texas rapper or mah fugga praising the effects of syrup running around on stage showing off their bodies. You didn’t see Big Moe (R.I.P.) performing shirtless. You know why? Because they have the “barre belly.” Excessive syrup sippers wind up having digestive problems because of hardened intestines. In other words, they can’t shit. I said that before. You know what happens when shit don’t leave your body? It stays in your body, mainly the stomach. Wayne doesn’t appear to have anything resembling a gut. Unless he’s mastered some ancient forbidden art of being able to suck it in while breathing, talking and rapping.

Another thing I noticed was dudes energy level. Have any of ya’ll seen this dude perform live? I have. And I’ll tell you this, he has one of the more entertaining live sets I can remember. Why? Because this little muthafucka bounces around from one end of the stage to the other for damn near an hour.

Last time I checked, syrup was a downer. It makes you drowsy. Makes you slow down. Makes you nod. Weezy does none of those things during his shows. Hell, he hardly does any of those things during his interviews when he ever so eloquently breaks down just how painful his addiction is. Well maybe sometimes.

I believe Wayne is selling this whole “addicted to syrup” thing because he’s bored. The same way rap and rap fans are bored to the point that “Weezy’s demons” are the hot topic. He brings cups to interviews and answers these dumb ass questions journalists keep asking him about the shit because he’s bored. I really can’t fault dude there.

Syrup talk ain’t the only indicator that dude is bored out of his fucking mind either. Just peep the look on his face. No, not the expression. But his face literally. Dude has tats all over his mug. If that’s not the sign of bored mutha fucka then I don’t know what is. I mean, when I was bored as a child in school, I used to doodle in my notebook and draw on my desk. Them glue sniffing niggas who sat in the back of the class used to write on their hands and give themselves those eraser burn tattoos. As a grown man, when I’m bored I fuck around on the internet and play with some shit in photoshop. Other muthafuckas get stupid ass haircuts/hairdos and write on their face, or in his case and others, get their face written on. (oh yeah, Game is another example of a bored rapper. Suicide nigga? Really? I’m hearing he said that to keep himself awake during the interview.)

Weezy ain’t addicted to syrup ya’ll. But he will act like it as long as it intrigues folks dumb enough to believe it or care. What drug is he on, who ‘nose’? Probably too many to name. But don’t believe the hype.

  • Braile

    well I gottta disagee
    1. when he got caught up in New York doin the show with Ja(By the way he got caught up 2 and by the way what the fuck happen to ja rule anyway) in new york they found the .50 cal on his tour bus and they found of course weed…BUT THEY FOUND COKE ON THE BUS!
    It wasn’t the amount for selling like most of these punk ass rappers say they do. It was an amount like I sniff coke sometimes amount.
    I think he sniff coke sometimes so thats why hes amped on stage and why he’s skinny.

    2.I think tats on ya face is a sign of bordem
    as well as thinkin of suicide.

    Feel me like Braile

  • http://www.writersblockmedia.net R.E.

    Nah, dude. That’s crunk juice in his cup. Crunk juice is that crack water. He’s addicted to crunk juice, don’t let him fool ya.

  • http://necolebitchie.com Necole Bitchie

    Not sure if Lil Wayne is addicted to syrup..that nicca addicted to somethin’ though. And real talk, whatever he’s addicted to, he feels that it is a part of his success. Almost like an athlete on steroids, Wayne feels that his addiction has fueled his lyrical game and performances. That’s the only reason I feel that will be the cause of his demise if he doesn’t get himself some help soon. He’s too dependent on his “addiction” right now.

  • ga_finest08

    Bravo nigga!…Lol, this might be the most entertaining post I’ve read in a while, that actually makes sense. I think wayne is doing a little tooting here and there. He might be sipping when he’s off stage, but definately not before he performs. Honestly sometimes watching him, I wish that nigga knew how to play the guitar to go along wit that rockstar shit. Wouldn’t it be the shit to see Lil wayne and Andre 3000 do Take a Ride, Hotel California, or Crawling? I bet niggas would pay cash money to see them niggas rock out. Shit I’m bored too, I’d pay to see it.

    • Moniker

      Lil’ Wayne knows how to play the guitar….my boy went down to michigan state to see him. Played a 3 hour set before and pulled out the ole guitar

      • ga_finet08

        I went and peeped that shit on youtube. Nigga is trying, and I’d rather see that than see some of these other wackass niggas doing the same ole shit. Wayne playing the guitar lets u know how weak rap music alone has gotten. Just like Andre 3000 singing and playing the guitar. Rapping alone has gotten too easy and boring for the both of them. Niggas using different outlets to create.

  • http://tikdoff.wordpress.com ash

    Whatever else Weezy ‘does’, he definitely sucks balls! In more ways than one!

  • jonathan

    i aint worried about it doggy! its all a joke! dont you get it! its all designed to do excactly what your helping to do! thats what you fools dont get! crumbs for you! the pie for them! you dont get that shit! so stupid! open your eyes and understand what kind of stocks is really at stake! you dont get it! your talking about the most evil of men on the planet! but your doing all the work for them! they love yall! like look at my little niggers! if we known you would have done this we would have let you in a long time ago! thats all it is! you understand! you dont get it! thats all it is! but you will when its too late! you understand! goodluck and take care!

  • TonelocIlla

    ^^^You’re a LAME ASS DUDE!!! Fukouttahere

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  • ceedat

    “Suicide nigga? Really? I’m hearing he said that to keep himself awake during the interview.”

    Tell me why I can hear Riley from the Boondocks saying that in my head. Shit I’m bored too. Hopefully The Carter III can live up to the hype. It will for the fans, it won’t for the haters.

  • upjumptheboogie

    you said “fuck” “muthafukas” and “fuckers” a lot. guess niggaz like being cussed at.

  • ahaha

    I think he’s cheesing

  • JP

    haha funny post..i had a good laugh
    wayne gotta be addicted to something cause he be acting wierd on his interviews..
    well like i said before
    I hope carter 3 is a classic(but songs like lollipop wont help) cause hip hop need it
    But at the same time if it is that means I’ma hear that “best rapper alive” bullshit
    Wayne good as heck(even though he makes stupid songs erynow and den) but not the best

  • POLO DIZ

    fucc wang and his lil faggot lil pop song and his album coming out on Neveruary the bullshiteenth 2420.

  • Ali

    iono man…..he got a styrofoam cup everywhere he goes lol……but yeah he has to be on alot more tha syrup with tha way he’s been rapping recently (garbage)

  • http://www.ucraveblogging.com Alicia Allout

    I think he’s addicted to something but that whole Syrup thing is being played up.

  • gooch

    cosign on this whole post. It’s people in “rap journalism” media hyping it up because they have nothing better to talk about other than TI doing community service

  • John Brown

    Maurice,

    Maybe Wayne doesnt have a “BARRE BELLY” because he isnt Paul Wall or Mike Jones. Maybe Wayne’s metabolism is different from theirs. Wait everyone’s metabolism is different. Shit, me and my cousin drink a lot of liqour and beer but he gets fat and I stay the same. I dont know but it might be that.

  • Jerz!

    Great post.

  • master cheef

    word. i have never sipped syrup, but it doesnt seem like something you would put over ice. you can hear ice in the cup in the interview where he’s got like 4 coca-cola cups stacked together.

  • ATL Stunna

    codeine can do numerous things to your body. it doesnt “make” you fat, but u cant get into shape tho. syrup is DEFINENTLY not a downer. i could sip in the mornin b4 i go to work and be the happiest, energetic dude on the job. dont kno where u get ur facts from but LETS KEEP IT REAL

  • M

    the effects of the cocaine are balancing off the effects of the syrup. he’s addicted to both.

  • A Fan Of Hip Hop

    Bravo…….

  • sippin

    the effects of the cocaine are balancing off the effects of the syrup. he’s addicted to both.

    Bang on, exactly correct, this Lil Weiner will be in rehab more than Britney or choke on his own vomit one day.

  • Herm

    Good read, Maurice. Maybe not syrup, but considering how weird Lil’ Wayne acts, he’s addicted to something.

  • ladywish821

    i read an interview recently where wayne says he stopped doing coke because it made his skin bad. DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT? maybe its older, i dunno…but if he’s quick to say he has an addiction to weed and syrup, why not fess up to the coke as well? (maybe the current trial of all the shit they found on his bus is stopping him?!?!) he dont seem to have shit to hide.
    gotta cosign wit dude who is not feeling the lollipop song, but shit wayne make money. nelly did some off the wall songs as well…not for the street cred but for the MONEY.
    anyway kudos to the article. gave me something to read during my long work day. ONE LOVE!

    • college park in dis bitch

      all the shit going on in the world right now and this ‘lil wayne ain’t on syrup’ BLOG is what gave you something to read during your long work day?? ok.

  • nola soldier

    go watch the extras on the “Baller Blockin’ DVD, when they interview all the Hot Boys, they are clearly all coked up, except maybe juvenile……its actually realy funny because that movie was TERRIBLE

  • dez

    carter 3 june 10 nuff said

  • Mocha

    Brilliant! It’s clear he’s taking drugs and I think it’s cocaine and Heroin….he thinks as a lot of people do, that syrup is ok and accepted in the culture so instead of saying what he’s really on he uses syrup as his scapegoat! You laid it all out perfectly….but the lil boy needs help for real and he’s the one whose been putting his addiction on the front page, in articles, interviews and songs..he loves the attention

    SmartSexyRichCrazy.blogspot.com

  • BossGame

    Dean Martin used to do the same thing. He quit drinking years prior, but would come on stage with Sinatra and Sammy Davis (Rat Pack) and do this bit like he was drunk as hell.