Fuzzy Kazoos To Save Hip Hop


Some of you may have noticed I have been blogging here less frequently as of late. Like so many people who age with time, I have grown disenchanted with the current hip hop landscape. It fails to ignite my spiritual being the way it did the first time I spun around on my head while rapping all the words to “The Scenario” in reverse.

But never no more shall I worry for this fair genre, as there is a light in the distance. It is reflected off the most reliably shining bald head since Dom Delouise. That temple belongs to none other than the one Lonnie Lynn. For his new album, Common will not only spit the usual stream of lyrically crocheted pantraps, he’ll also be rocking mad kazoos. Now I know what you’re thinking – the kazoo, like T-Pain and violence before it, is just another tired hip hop fad, run into the ground by countless of one hit wonders and bandwagon jumpers. And sure, all summer you have been hearing you’ve been hearing kazoo routines on many of your favorite radio hits. But there was something missing from those records. Those kazoos were hard and cold to the touch (nulli). They were missing warmth, heart, humanity. They were missing a certain… fuzz.

Yes, fuzz. Which is why, for Invisible Something, my man Com Sadaam promises nothing but the fuzziest of kazoos, they will be draped in fuzz, creating a mass of static electricity when rubbed together and rendered even more powerful in the presence of spongy futuristic chords. And Santogold. This record and these kazoos will surely save hip hop from itself. We will collectively leave the guns and the crack and the knives alone and form a global cypher. Then KRS One will say something.

  • barnes

    YES

  • Tray

    I don’t get it.

  • stax

    word on the peachfuzz

  • I Used To Love H.E.R. Kazoos

    Petey Wheatstraw bit the whole idea when he overheard a Grandmaster Cazoo conversation when he was a busboy at Fuddruckers.

  • pileofshirt69

    Noz,

    Will the fuzzy kazoos match my Rawkus slipmats?

    • http://www.cocaineblunts.com/ noz

      Tentatively, no. But they will go great with your Fondle ‘Em Truck Nutz.

  • Rizob

    “the first time I spun around on my head while rapping all the words to “The Scenario” in reverse.”

    classic, nowadays, its not cool to dance in Hip-Hop, anywhoo Hilarious! post…..

    • Detroit P

      Lol….Where have you been for the past 5 years?

  • http://www.xxlmag.com jackpot

    I’m looking forward to Com’s joint. I can’t front though. I wish Ye was on the joint.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin aka The Anti-Wack

    will be forming a global cipher with global-greenery, that will somehow channel smoke signals in the skies from Biggie, Pac, Pun, Freeky Tah, Half-A-Mil, Big L, and Scott La-Rock with Ill Will and JMJ on the 1′s and 2′s!!!

    and then KRS will say something and the sky will crack shedding an eternal light that only the wack will diminish within….

  • MC Mission Impossible 6

    How does having a mustache change ones kazoo pitch/warmth?

    I, am a self-proclaimed kazoo stan, and am considering a graduate thesis on the history and origin of the instrument, all of which i plan on plagiarizing from wikipedia.

    But I wonder what KRS will say? And then what? where do we all go from there?

  • pimptrickgangstaclick

    TOO DEEP FOR XXL.

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