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Fuzzy Kazoos To Save Hip Hop

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Some of you may have noticed I have been blogging here less frequently as of late. Like so many people who age with time, I have grown disenchanted with the current hip hop landscape. It fails to ignite my spiritual being the way it did the first time I spun around on my head while rapping all the words to “The Scenario” in reverse.

But never no more shall I worry for this fair genre, as there is a light in the distance. It is reflected off the most reliably shining bald head since Dom Delouise. That temple belongs to none other than the one Lonnie Lynn. For his new album, Common will not only spit the usual stream of lyrically crocheted pantraps, he’ll also be rocking mad kazoos. Now I know what you’re thinking – the kazoo, like T-Pain and violence before it, is just another tired hip hop fad, run into the ground by countless of one hit wonders and bandwagon jumpers. And sure, all summer you have been hearing you’ve been hearing kazoo routines on many of your favorite radio hits. But there was something missing from those records. Those kazoos were hard and cold to the touch (nulli). They were missing warmth, heart, humanity. They were missing a certain… fuzz.

Yes, fuzz. Which is why, for Invisible Something, my man Com Sadaam promises nothing but the fuzziest of kazoos, they will be draped in fuzz, creating a mass of static electricity when rubbed together and rendered even more powerful in the presence of spongy futuristic chords. And Santogold. This record and these kazoos will surely save hip hop from itself. We will collectively leave the guns and the crack and the knives alone and form a global cypher. Then KRS One will say something.

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