In the past few days, since Fiddy Cent booted Young Buck from G-Unit, I've heard it put forth that one of the reasons Fiddy may have finally decided to put his foot down is that Buck had the sheer balls to go on stage with Lil' Wayne at a show he did down in Bumblefuck, Tennessee, or wherever. But I wonder if that's really the case.

First of all, in case you haven't noticed (maybe you've been fortunate and haven't been to any hip-hop concerts in the past several years now), "bringing people out" is the hot new trend in live hip-hop these days. I guess these rappers figure one of the ways they can make sure the audience doesn't feel gypped, short of actually delivering a compelling live show, is to have someone else who's famous, whom no one expected to be there, to wander out on stage halfway through the evening, grab their nuts and shout a few curse words.

Also, I'm assuming this is yet another one of these teh ghey-ass trends started by Jay-Z, like referring to one's swagger, or walking around in "button up" shirts with baseball caps and tennis shoes and what have you. I know he's pulled it himself on many an occasion at some of these Summer Jam concerts that they have in New York. One time he even brought out Michael Jackson. (Huzzah!)

Even if Fiddy was seriously beefing with Lil' Wayne, I doubt he could give a rat's ass about Young Buck bringing in a little supplemental income by making a special appearance at a Lil' Wayne concert. I've heard that Lil' Wayne puts on a god-awful live performance, and I've also heard that Young Buck stays broke, since he's never actually received any royalty checks from his recordings while he's been with G-Unit. So I'd imagine this arrangment worked out well for the both of them.

But Fiddy's actually gone on record as saying that he never had any real beef with Lil' Wayne, and that when he called Lil' Wayne a prostitute, which I believe is viewed as the source of their supposed beef, he was trying to give the guy some career advice. Lil' Wayne probably just misunderstood him, both because he's obviously got some serious issues with sizzurp; and because, let's face it, Fiddy Cent isn't the most articulate man in the world.

Which is to no to suggest that Fiddy Cent isn't brilliant in his own special way, similar to how many retarded people are especially good at math. Clearly he's onto something, as evidenced by the fact that he actually managed to prevail in family court the other day, while everyone MC Breed to Luke from 2 Live Crew (what year is this again?) was being thrown under a bus. Sean Levert even died in prison behind some child support bullshit. I would've addressed it in a post last week, but I was in a middle of a several days-long bender.

It's a good thing I don't have any kids. They probably would've starved to death, like that poor baby in Trainspotting.

*checks the back room to make sure he doesn't have any kids*


Never before has it been more clear to me that Lil' Wayne could use some career advice than when it was revealed, just now, the cover for his forthcoming (right?) Tha Carter III? Assuming this isn't some CP-time April Fool's joke, I'm left with no other choice than to ask: Lil' Wayne, seriously, what the fuck? What ever happened to just posing with your shirt off and your chest all oiled up (nullus), like most Interscope LCD rap releases?

I can appreciate the fact that putting a baby on your album cover echoes Biggie's Ready to Die, and - to a lesser degree - Nas' Illmatic, and that purposely trying to insert himself in a league various great rappers from the mid '90s is one of the reasons that children and people who wouldn't know from good rap music think that Lil' Wayne is a great rapper, but come on. That shit's just laughable.

It would seem amazing to me that the TIs at Universal would even sign off on some shit like that, except for the fact that motherfucking "Lollipop" is somehow managing to climb the charts. So maybe the TIs figure that the best approach with Lil' Wayne is to let him do whatever the fuck he wants and hope for the best. And who knows? If people actually like "Lollipop," what's there to suggest that they're not set for a colossal payday come this summer?

However, you have to wonder if Fiddy Cent doesn't have a point with regard to Lil' Wayne's career from a business perspective. He might manage to shift a few units this year, which is all the TIs care about, but what else has he done? He's probably just as popular as Fiddy, Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Snoop Dogg, but I seriously doubt his income is anywhere near theirs.

A few years from now, if he ends up in jail, or if people actually realize that he fucking sucks balls (and obviously I'm not holding my breath for the latter), he'll probably be kicking himself, wondering what the fuck he was doing all this time. He might want to set the sizzurp down for a minute and work on getting his shit together.