I was instructed by my boss’ boss to not go in on the Elliott Wilson situation, but since I exist at this site tenuously anyhoo I thought I would say something for the record. And since rap records’ sales figures are in the shitter prah’lee no one will buy this drop by the time I’m done.

Keep it moving XXL mag dot commenters.

It’s just that simple. What the fuck do you care why Elliot Wilson isn’t here any longer? There’s no conspiracy. Sonn-dula just ain’t here. So what now? Are you gonna stop listening to rap music? Are you gonna stop reading publications that talk about rappers? What in your life gets improved when you know why and where Elliott is?

That’s ho shit you are worried about. Don’t worry about Elliott. That nigga is doing better than all of us. Combined. I’ve got a column at XXL mag dot com and my ass is still eating tuna out of the can. Not even albacore sonn. Dark meat tuna. My cable got shut off over the weekend. I watched football at the Circuit City on Atlantic and Flatbush Avenues. I’m typing this shit from the public library at Grand Army Plaza. Meanwhile E Dubbz lives in a billion dollar penthouse condominium with Jay-Z and Common as neighbors.

Elliott Wilson is gon’ be aiight. First off, he’s lightskin and figures show that good hair negroes live life on the sweet side of the street. So you know he left Harris Publications with his dignity. Good hair jigs like Elliott and Keith Clinkscales always stay crispy. Not so much speaking of Vibe magazine, but have you seen E Dubb’s wife? How the hell did he bag that? He ain’t even a pretty lightskin nigga either. Sonn has hell’s game I guess so wherever he goes his shit is gon’ be aiight. XXL mag and this online bastard child will be fine too. So while all you ho ass niggas speculate on the whys and the wherefores you need to keep your shit moving as well.

If you work at Mickey Dee’s this is the year you get promoted to fries up from bathroom cleaning duties. If you already work on fries you have reached the ceiling for growth and you should move on up to Boston Market or some shit. Shouts to all of y’all in school now getting a degree in some shit that will keep you in debt until you are 34yrs old. What up to all the XXL dot commenters at their jobs now reading this shit. I’m just like y’all and when I get back home I am gonna take me some drugs and sip me some wine.

Elliott Wilson is gon’ be aiight. The rest of us? Not so much.