Blow Your Whistle

I was born and raised in Queens. You know what that makes me, the big homie? A native New Yorker. And as such, you root for the Knicks. The Knickerbockers. That’s the rule! Doesn’t matter who’s on the team or who’s the coach. It was fun in the 90’s.The battles with MJ. The slugfests with The Heat. But nowadays thanks to that punk Isiah, New York sports fans like myself are in pain and misery.

When I started making industry baller dough I fulfilled my dream and got season tickets for the Mets and The Knicks but then I was always too busy to go to the games anyway. Nowadays, I occasionally hit up Ticket Exchange (no comps for the kid. I got pride) and grab a front row seat to watch the opposition disrespect the Garden floor by running up double digit wins against our booty squad.

But to bring all this back to hip-hop, I got a solution for a city in need of a big lift. A big Boricua. That’s right, I nominate Fat Joe to become the next coach of the New York Knicks. Ck the resume. How many Rucker titles has he won? I was at game a few weeks ago when supposedly Isiah’s job was on the line (James Dolan doesn’t have the balls to pull the trigger) and I saw Fat Joe and his man Macho in their usual front row seats (when they’re not sunbathing in Miami). I watched Joe rise up and cheer loudly. Encourage players like Zack Randolph and Renaldo Blackman who came up to him personally throughout the game. He was the reason for the come-from-behind win. Not Zeke.

Now I know this sounds like some Whoopi Goldberg in Eddie shit. But I ain’t Rick Foxx and this idea rocks. Can you imagine Coach Crack in the locker room getting his Knute Rockne on and rallying the troops? Fuck Scott Skiles (and Scott Storch for that matter). Joe’s an MC, he’s used to being miked. BX’s finest could bring his peoples like Khaled in to keep the team’s swagger up. “Eddy Curry, you the best!” Say it with me, “We the best.”

Bet you we’d at least make the playoffs. Play-offs. (Word to Jim Mora.) The publicity would be crazy and would keep the seats filled which is the only reason the owner James Dolan keeps this Isiah circus running in the first place. A lil taste of rap just might be the antidote to all our problems. It usually is.

Sidebar: And if Joe got his flirt on with a team executive or two, they won’t tell. Ha! LMAO!