Diddy’s worst week evar

“Rich niggas, black bar mitzvahs. Mazel tov, it’s a celebration, bitches. L’chaim!” – Lyor Cohen Jay-Z

Never mind the shootings at Success Tech (heh), you know something’s gone horribly wrong with the world whenever I do a story about Diddy getting stuck for child support by one of his jump-offs one day, and then I’ve got to turn around and do another story about him getting stuck for child support by one of his jump-offs two days later.

No wonder Diddy was trying to executive produce the new Jay-Z album. At the rate he’s going, he’s gonna need whatever money he can get.

In case you fruits aren’t up to speed, allow me to fill you in. Nullus. As I mentioned on my site the other day, DNA tests recently revealed that Diddy fathered a child last year with this woman down in Atlanta named Sarah Chapman, who kinda looks like Whitney Houston after she had been with Bobby Brown for a minute[1].

This had been rumored for a while, but Diddy wasn’t about to speak on it one way or the other until he was certain it was his. Which suggests to me he may have had this happen to him before. When Chris Rock was on the Stern Show earlier this year promoting I Think I Love My Wife, he revealed how some broad was claiming to have his baby and demanding $1 million to shut up about it, like Jay-Z gives to his babies’ mothers.

Maybe Chris Rock is genuinely faithful to his wife, but you get the idea that the reason he knew the baby wasn’t his is because she was only asking for a relatively small sum of money. (I can’t remember if it was $1 million or what. It may have been less.) If it was really his, she probably would’ve just taken his ass to court and walked away with way more than that. God forbid!

But now that the tests are in, Diddy has announced that this child will be well taken care of, as if it was one of his other, somewhat legitimate kids. The other day, I wondered why Diddy should feel obligated to provide any more that child than it’s going to take to keep it in Pampers and Similac, but most people tended to disagree. And I guess it’s his choice, when it comes down to it.

However, announcing on TV that you’re about to come out of pocket to the tune of millions of dollars for some mistake you made one night is probably sending out the wrong message, no? In fact, you have to wonder if it’s any coincidence that yesterday it was announced that yet another woman has come forward claiming to be carrying one of Diddy’s babies.

According to the ur-reputable Media Take Out, which broke the story about the jump-off down in the A, this one is a 24 year-old blond from Long Island. (I’ve yet to see any pictures of this one, but I bet she’s smokin’!) Supposedly, she’s four months in, and had thought long and hard about having what I’m sure wouldn’t have been Diddy’s first abortion, but now she’s decided to keep it.

Hmm…

[1] Speaking of which, I heard Bobby Brown had a heart attack the other day. And I’ve often suspected that he’s had a stroke before, which is why his mouth is all bent out of shape and he talks funny. That was what happened to Crackhead Bob from the Stern Show. One day he was lighting up, the next thing you know, he was calling himself Bob because he couldn’t pronounce George anymore.

“First of all, I’d like to thank my connect…”

  • kritiq

    yah so what?

  • Spic to my Lou

    Heard about Crackhead leaving to Texas?

  • texasleen

    add this shit to another shitty blog who cares about diddy he aint the only one with this problem look that shit up

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    Diddy is a Celebrity, he can go to Idaho,Rhode Island(where is this at?), or whatever “Fly-Over State” he wants and impregnate the prettiest girl in a town full of ugly ducklings, AND, get away with it! This practice has been in play since Elvis was knockin up Trailer Trash in Arizona waaaaaaaaayyyyy back in the Day in between snortin “La Coca” and poppin Pills. Diddy ain’t broke, either, he has like a Zillion Ghostwriters and such to make him sound plausibly sub-par on Rap records and a Fraternal Membership in the “Sell-Out Negroids Of America” Club. Let Diddy do his faux-Tap Dancing in C-List Rappers Videos and say “Take That,Take,That!” and leave the FunBoy alone.

  • LowEndofDaChi

    “And I’ve often suspected that he’s had a stroke before, which is why his mouth is all bent out of shape and he talks funny.”

    LOL! You’re not right man. Not at all.

  • General

    perhaps his next reality show will be called “makin the family”

  • rikrok

    Bol wats up wit u quotin jay in all blogs now? feelin da new joint or what?

  • MA$E

    I was murda, P.Diddy made pretty
    Now I roll with trannies yo can you get with me
    I was on CBN preachin’ sermons
    Now I look for peeps who’s gender is undetermined
    I was gettin’ mad chicks with rhymes that I wrote
    Now I dig them chicks with them lumps in they throat
    I used to rock them 20,000 seat arenas
    Now I’m in them clubs with them drag queen divas
    I gave up p*ssy for the king of the Jews
    Now I got a fetish for them pre-op dudes

    Ay yo Puff, keep your head up kid!

  • DirtDogggy

    He’s claims to be a smart buisness man but he’s dumb on the real buisness end, pull that shit out or wear a dome, if these broads rape him for a piece of his bank it’s his own damn fault for going raw in a digger.

  • Cuban Link

    lmao@ the stern show comment at the end.

    Bobby Brown>>>Eveyone.Ever.Except maybe Micheal Jackson and Rick James.And James Brown.But thats it

  • KLETEWOOD

    Bol – “one is a 24 year-old blond from Long Island. (I’ve yet to see any pictures of this one, but I bet she’s smokin’!)”

    You love white chicks! Huh?

    I bet she is smokin though…especially if she thought of having an abortion. Only “really hot white broads” would ever think about having an abortion. 10 out of 10 black chicks are itching to have Diddy’s child.

  • champlain

    I believe the reason why bobbys mouth moves around like that is the coke…not talking about the soft drink

  • bored negro

    This aint nothing, Paul McCartney’s ex is getting 50 million

  • sleep

    This is exactly why 50 and hov is one and two on this list. If u look diddy has been worth pretty much the same since like 2001. Now hes just working fir child support. I dont know about child support in the a but nyc is a killa my pop got 2 (well what he claming) kid. And hes paying 30 percent for that shit.

  • stoneyisland

    Say it with me “THE BOBBY BROWN MOUTH” :) you dont get a mouth like dat from a stroke you gets it from smoking crack. Hence the term the bobby brown mauf:)

  • http://www.freshfeature.com mos

    No offense man, but the problem with a lot of dudes and child support is that they don’t feel an obligation to help their child be comfortable. It’s probably not a good idea for Diddy to keep impregnating ladies in every town he passes through but it’s commendable of him to take care of a child beyond pampers and Similac. Would it be fair or kind for this kid to know who his daddy is and see Justin and the other boy and the twins wearing ice while he’s trying to figure out how to pay for college. The world doesn’t need another kid with a chip on his or her shoulder. Don’t be so ignorant.
    http://www.freshfeature.com

  • JAYSTONE

    that nigga is tash.his albulm is ass

  • http://www.xxlamg.com EReal

    Bobby Brown has an orangutan mouff. He looks like he’s fuckin droolin all the time.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com EReal

    Are you getting paid to dickride Jay-Z?

  • http://twistedreality.info/www.xxlmag.com/ www.xxlmag.com

    Diddys worst week evar.. Slap-up :)