The real miracle of modern medicine
The other day it was announced that Kim Kardashian, the skank that did that half-assed sex tape with Brandy’s little brother Ray J, would be on the cover of the October issue of KING magazine. This is kind of a big deal, because it marks the first time in however long KING has been around that a white woman has graced its cover.
So far though, I’ve yet to hear much about it one way or the other. I think most of the kind of guys who would read KING can agree that her body (her ass in particular – her face is kinda busted) is ridonkulous, but you get the idea that the good people at KING may have been hoping that there would be a lot more controversy having to do with the race issue.
For example, the post on the KING website announcing the cover carried the headline, “Kim Kardashian’s Breakin’ the Color Barrier,” which is an obvious nod to both the fact that she’s the first white chick to be featured on the cover as well as the fact that she’s been known to bang black dudes, including Ray J and whoever that one football player is (my bad about this).
If that wasn’t bad enough, the cover even goes so far as to allude to motherfucking OJ. I’m not saying these d-bags are desperate or anything. I’m just saying.
And yet… crickets.
Obviously part of the problem is that Kim Kardashian, who’s Armenian, isn’t non-black enough for it to matter one way or the other. Her skin is an odd tan color, and she’s way more ethnic-looking in the face than I generally prefer my white chicks. She doesn’t strike me as being any less black than your average hispanic chick, of which they’ve had at least a few on the cover.
And I can’t help but think that this is by design. If KING really wanted to stir up some shit, they would’ve put a real, according to Hoyle white chick on the cover. Like the chick who did those Obama girl videos, who’s also featured in the issue. But my guess is that they didn’t want to push the envelope too far, for fear of a backlash. So they went and got the least-white white chick possible.
Still, I think you have to view this as a sign of progress – not just in the sense that a black men’s magazine ran a white chick on its cover and hardly anyone noticed, but in the sense that it’s become increasingly obvious to me that Kim Kardashian was constructed in a laboratory, femmebot-style. If you don’t believe me, you might want to check out these before and after photos at Media Take Out.
Would-be sensational race issues aside, the main reason a white chick like Kim Kardashian could appear on the cover of a magazine like KING is that she’s got one of the most ridonkulous bodies around these days, regardless of race. It used to be the case that a white woman just plain couldn’t have a body like that, but obviously that’s no longer the case.
Praise the lord, and/or the cracka-ass cracka who made this possible!
 I bet if YN was involved, he would’ve somehow managed to get Kim Kardashian and OJ to pose together, drenched in a post-coital glow, not unlike this month’s cover with Baby and Lil’ Wayne. Harris Publications might want to consider bringing him on there as an Editorial Director or whatever, like they’ve done over at Scratch. If they do, I’ll take 10% of whatever that pays, as a fee for coming up with the idea.