The real miracle of modern medicine

The other day it was announced that Kim Kardashian, the skank that did that half-assed sex tape with Brandy’s little brother Ray J, would be on the cover of the October issue of KING magazine. This is kind of a big deal, because it marks the first time in however long KING has been around that a white woman has graced its cover.

So far though, I’ve yet to hear much about it one way or the other. I think most of the kind of guys who would read KING can agree that her body (her ass in particular – her face is kinda busted) is ridonkulous, but you get the idea that the good people at KING may have been hoping that there would be a lot more controversy having to do with the race issue.

For example, the post on the KING website announcing the cover carried the headline, “Kim Kardashian’s Breakin’ the Color Barrier,” which is an obvious nod to both the fact that she’s the first white chick to be featured on the cover as well as the fact that she’s been known to bang black dudes, including Ray J and whoever that one football player is (my bad about this).

If that wasn’t bad enough, the cover even goes so far as to allude to motherfucking OJ. I’m not saying these d-bags are desperate or anything. I’m just saying[1].

And yet… crickets.

Obviously part of the problem is that Kim Kardashian, who’s Armenian, isn’t non-black enough for it to matter one way or the other. Her skin is an odd tan color, and she’s way more ethnic-looking in the face than I generally prefer my white chicks. She doesn’t strike me as being any less black than your average hispanic chick, of which they’ve had at least a few on the cover.

And I can’t help but think that this is by design. If KING really wanted to stir up some shit, they would’ve put a real, according to Hoyle white chick on the cover. Like the chick who did those Obama girl videos, who’s also featured in the issue. But my guess is that they didn’t want to push the envelope too far, for fear of a backlash. So they went and got the least-white white chick possible.

Still, I think you have to view this as a sign of progress – not just in the sense that a black men’s magazine ran a white chick on its cover and hardly anyone noticed, but in the sense that it’s become increasingly obvious to me that Kim Kardashian was constructed in a laboratory, femmebot-style. If you don’t believe me, you might want to check out these before and after photos at Media Take Out.

Would-be sensational race issues aside, the main reason a white chick like Kim Kardashian could appear on the cover of a magazine like KING is that she’s got one of the most ridonkulous bodies around these days, regardless of race. It used to be the case that a white woman just plain couldn’t have a body like that, but obviously that’s no longer the case.

Praise the lord, and/or the cracka-ass cracka who made this possible!

[1] I bet if YN was involved, he would’ve somehow managed to get Kim Kardashian and OJ to pose together, drenched in a post-coital glow, not unlike this month’s cover with Baby and Lil’ Wayne. Harris Publications might want to consider bringing him on there as an Editorial Director or whatever, like they’ve done over at Scratch. If they do, I’ll take 10% of whatever that pays, as a fee for coming up with the idea.

  • og bobby johnson

    the things I would eat out of her ass, you have no idea!
    White, black, spanish….all the same to me

  • N.O. 4 life

    least white chick possible…doesnt get any better thatn that for you bol huh????

  • http://www.kaseclosed.blogspot.com Justin Kase

    she faker than a 3 dolla bill. She ai-ight in the face, but the plastic ass cheeks and rubber titties don’t do it for me.

    ^^^the things I would eat out of her ass, you have no idea!

    what??? shit??? OG you a nasty nigga.

  • Tone

    Damn she definetly had surgery but fuck it who cares id keep my hands on that ass all day but king was smart for doin this because niggas are goin to buy king regardless and white guys might go pick it up seeing her on the cover so thats more magazines sold smart move

  • Tyler

    Dat chick ain’t white. Ain’t she some type of desert nigga or something? If they wanted to make noise they should have gone with CoCo(without the Ice-T) cause black, white or green that girl’s body is just plain mean.
    SolutionsGlobalMedia.com aka SGM7.com
    Love it or Hate it, Tell a Friend.

  • og bobby johnson

    @ Justin Kase

    I am just keepin mo’ reala !

  • yep

    the bitch is bad. black men like bad bitches. im not saying shes pretty, im not saying shes not a whore. im just saying shes bad.

  • yep

    that bitch is bad. black men like bad bitches. im not saying shes pretty, im not saying shes not a whore. im just saying shes bad.

  • Wh-What?

    Cracka-ass cracka? I’m calling you on that one. If a white magazine used a racial slur like that, they’d be out of print instantly. I run across shit like this all the time… casual racism that “isn’t racism” if it’s toward whitey. I thought we were all in this thing to strive for equality, but really I guess you’re just in it to push a subconsciously-racist agenda against the “man” who probably makes up 75-80% of your audience (just like rap music in general). Good job, XXL.

  • Trizzle

    I’d beat

  • Ryan

    I’d drill a hot broad of any race, it doesn’t matter to me. I didn’t even know she was white, I have this movie of hers downloaded and I’ve yet to watch it. Something about seeing Brandy’s brother railing her makes me kind of not want to watch it, it’s creepy………I don’t think it’s nearly as morbid as that video of that greasy wrestler slampigging Chyna and her clitenis.

  • jeff

    that bitch is bad, point blank. all of them model chicks get airbrushed covers, enhancements, etc. it’s just a part of the game. Kim Kardashian is beautiful though. yeah, she has a fake ass, but it sure looks good. She may have fake everything for all we know, but oh well. We aren’t in them Jayne Kennedy, Bo Derek, Pam Grier days anymore…so seeing a celebrity woman with natural beauty is almost freakish at this point. Think about it…porcelain teeth, silicone breasts, hair weaves and dyes, tummy tucks, photo shop 7.0, illustrator, plastic surgery, acrylic toe nails, butt enhancements is a sign of a different era. You would be very hard pressed to name a chick in the entertainment game who hasnt invested in at least 2 things that I have mentioned.

  • Fernando

    She is not white Bol. Thats why there is no fuss. How can you not see this. She is Armanian or something. Definitely not white though. You just wasted an entire post on a diatribe that is based on an assertion that is not true and obvious after looiking at her for more than 10 seconds. But this is nothing new to fat man Bol. Cheers!

  • Sauce: The Designated Hater

    Fuck that! Kim K is fine as hell. I’d drink that bitch bath water through a crazy straw! Her face is okbut if she let me drive the pussy…I’D WRECK IT!!!

  • boner jams 03

    Wh-What? Says:

    August 28th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
    Cracka-ass cracka? I’m calling you on that one. If a white magazine used a racial slur like that, they’d be out of print instantly.

    c’mon wh-what…cracka-ass cracka is (c) Chris Rock…step ya stand-up game up….

    they should have put tapanga from “boy meets world” on the cover…i had a thing for that full-lip pink-toe

  • b-ease

    Wh-What? Says:

    August 28th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
    Cracka-ass cracka? I’m calling you on that one. If a white magazine used a racial slur like that, they’d be out of print instantly. I run across shit like this all the time… casual racism that “isn’t racism” if it’s toward whitey. I thought we were all in this thing to strive for equality, but really I guess you’re just in it to push a subconsciously-racist agenda against the “man” who probably makes up 75-80% of your audience (just like rap music in general). Good job, XXL.
    ^^^^^^^^^

    Dude, get the fuck over it. What, were you’re feelings hurt?? are you comparing the words “nigger” and “cracker” like they are equivalent? Have you ever read a bol column before?? he calls blacks jigs and muslims terrorists too. Did that upset you also?

    If your so fucking concerned about racial slurs, do you make it a point to not listen to music with the word nigger? of course you dont.

    Your a fucking hypocrite, probably 16, and have no concept of history. At all.

  • b-ease

    casual racism that “isn’t racism” if it’s toward white

    ^^^^^^^

    it isnt. so enjoy your white privelage and let us have nigger and cracker. cracker.

  • og bobby johnson

    co-sign that tapanga comment….she was bad as hell….

  • jeff

    I forgot, Raquel Welch was a bad white bitch from back in the day too. Jim Brown was piping her ass down in 100 Rifles. That was payback for that Emmitt Till shit.

  • Trizzle

    damn, b-ease jus shredded that cracka-ass cracka

  • bighorse

    What are you smoking Bol? She’s gorgeous in the face.

  • Caine

    Wh-What? Says:

    August 28th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
    Cracka-ass cracka? I’m calling you on that one. If a white magazine used a racial slur like that, they’d be out of print instantly. I run across shit like this all the time… casual racism that “isn’t racism” if it’s toward whitey. I thought we were all in this thing to strive for equality, but really I guess you’re just in it to push a subconsciously-racist agenda against the “man” who probably makes up 75-80% of your audience (just like rap music in general). Good job, XXL.

    ^^ If that offends ya, then I suggest you go cop dat new Plies joint…”Cracka don’t like da air a nigga breathe fa real.”

  • GT_Massive

    Y’all make me laugh.

    Anyone who called her busted in the face, please send me a pic of 3 chix that you smashed that look badder.

    Bol, she more ethnic than you like your white women? When was the last time you got laid, much less by anything that fine? Maybe you need to lower your standards dude.

    PLEASE, all of y’all stop lying like you wouldn’t smash that if she offered it up!!!!! Y’all are some bitch ass dudes cause real nigroes don’t front, they f@ck.

  • bpeez

    That bitch is bad. I think she is armenian. Whatever the case. Anybody that could sit down and type about her being busted, clearly does not know the definition of what a fine bitch is suppose to look like.

  • kingkong

    Classic quote from the new ice water/raekwon album:
    DON’T ACT LIKE YOUR PUSSY AIN’T PINK!

  • The Spaniard

    That bitch is a 6 at best in the face. In fact, her face is to her body as Jud Buechler was to the ’97-’98 Bulls, a serviceable, but ultimately common and replaceable, player. Without those other physical assets she would be an also ran…just like Jud.

    …I’d fuck though!

  • Dr Flav

    LOL @ epicine, obese, race conflicted, alleged part time K-Mart, computer geekin Bol thinking he has a choice or chance on any broad ranked higher than a 4.

  • SCARTOWN

    She ain’t busted in the face………but I’ll bust on her face!(Sorry sensitive females)

  • jg420

    GT_Massive Says:

    August 28th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
    Y’all make me laugh.

    Anyone who called her busted in the face, please send me a pic of 3 chix that you smashed that look badder.

    Bol, she more ethnic than you like your white women? When was the last time you got laid, much less by anything that fine? Maybe you need to lower your standards dude.

    PLEASE, all of y’all stop lying like you wouldn’t smash that if she offered it up!!!!! Y’all are some bitch ass dudes cause real nigroes don’t front, they f@ck.
    ^^^^^^^^
    co-sign.

  • http://xxlmag.com DARK

    ryan,bol and billy sunday have a three way closet homo relatshionship going on.(faggots)

  • Fire

    Kim Kardashian is not the hottest, but she’s still hot. I don’t know why people are saying she isn’t. They must be blind or gay. Like GT_Massive said: “PLEASE, all of y’all stop lying like you wouldn’t smash that if she offered it up!!!!!” I sure as hell know that I would without a second thought.

  • Cuban Link

    Uh, Bol, maybe the reason theres nothing stirring up is cuz shes WHITE. Noone gives a shit if a white bitch is on a black magazine. If a black bitch was on a white magazine, she’d get a medal 20 years from now and written up in those “Heroes” stories you have to read in school.

    Lets face it, theres a reason white people cant file for affirmative action. They’re not the MINORITY. Noone pays attention if people are fighting for the rights of the majority

  • Cuban Link

    >>But my guess is that they didn’t want to push the envelope too far, for fear of a backlash. So they went and got the least-white white chick possible.

    ^shouldnt they have just gotten Beyonce then? Shed sell a lot more mags than Kim too. *Double Meaning!*

  • Lyris

    Kim Kardashian

    “She is of Armenian descent.

    Her stepfather is 1976 Summer Olympic Games gold medalist Bruce Jenner. She has nine brothers and sisters altogether: three full siblings, two half-sisters, three step-brothers, and one step-sister from Jenner”.-Wikipedia

  • stoneyisland

    Some of you niggas act like you aint never had no pussy before, talking about how you’d fuck her and drink her bath water. It’s obvious you punk muthafuckas arent use to quality as or dealing with quality women. I personally wouldnt touch that human sperm bank, real women dont go around fucking every dude they meet, they conduct themselves with some fucking class. If all of you punk ass, infrequent getting pussy niggas had any class you wouldnt associate yourselves with trash or skank ass women, remember you are what you eat………Bitchez

  • The Real Bishop

    “That one football player?”

    It’s Reggie Bush, Bol, and he’s basically like a fast Marshall Faulk. Shit, you know who Albert Pujols is, right? Come on, St. Louis, hold up our hometown well.

  • 1,21,2..anditdon’tstop81

    real women dont go around fucking every dude they meet, they conduct themselves with some fucking class
    ^^^^
    but who the hell wants dat?! I loves me some hoes, yeah bitch suck this, lick that, take this here… un-huh! why settle for a damn class act you gotta basically wait all year to bang when I can simply I-hop a chick. (thats puttin sausage to cake ya dig?) i dunno diffrent strokes I guess.

  • BlackhawkPilot

    How the hell can you call this specimen busted in the face?? WTF

  • stoneyisland

    ,21,2..anditdon’tstop81 Says:

    August 29th, 2007 at 7:40 am
    real women dont go around fucking every dude they meet, they conduct themselves with some fucking class
    ^^^^
    but who the hell wants dat?!

    You mad funny playa:)

  • brebre

    SHE’S A WHORE. RAY J, MARCUS HOUSTON, REGGIE BUSH, GOES ON AND ON. HOWEVER, SHE’S A WHORE WORTHY FUCKIN. I WOULD DO SOME SICK FREAKISH SHIT ON THIS BITCH.

  • brebre

    I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY. I’M GON BANG THE SHIT OUT OF HER AND THEN FLIP THAT BOOTY AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!

  • Ryan

    Kim K can take over for Belladonna, she just retired due to giving some dude she hooked up with Herpes and she felt bad about it. Apparently, 99.9 percent of the “adult film” industry has herpes, so I’m sure Kim K will fit right in. I’d definitley blast a disease free version of Kim K, but I’m sure she’s got something.

    DARK Says:

    “August 28th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
    ryan,bol and billy sunday have a three way closet homo relatshionship going on.(faggots)”

    ^^^
    You really have nothing, at all………….

  • May

    God…men are hilarious!

    At any rate, I still think Kim Kardashian is beautiful. But someone here, answer me this:

    What exactly does she do?

  • Rich Arte

    @May…she fucks. And takes pictures looking over her shoulder so she can show off that $25,000 ass she bought and paid for. She doesn’t do shit. She fucks celebrities, and smiles. And half the nasty ass “i don’t give a fuck who she fucked she could still get it” mufuckas would probably pay to wait in line to rub some herpe cream on her rent-a-pussy.

    co-sign Stoney Island

  • May

    @ Rich Arte

    a talentless broad Kim K is, huh? It has always intrigued me as to why she’s so famous. She doesn’t sing or act or nothing of the sort. So she has no real reason to be on a KING mag cover.

    So it’s safe to say that Kim K’s a waste of a pretty face, no?

  • CHAKA DON

    I’d put half my life in that girl’s ass on a bad day. On a Friday after a good meal, everything I ever lived would be splashed all over her rack.

    FUH-DUCK DAT!!

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=13287 Jay

    that one football player is tom brady…

    hes white

  • Rich Arte

    @May

    I don’t know about talentless…she has a stripper pole in her room at her mom’s house (circa mtv cribs). She’s basically Paris Hilton with plastic surgery, and darker hair, but without her own show, and half the publicity….and about 28 more fuck buddies.

  • for the record

    dat bitch aint shit but a cumdump. i wood love to put my wood on her cheeks and skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet, slap her and tell her to shut up and take this wood like a good fireplace, she burns she burns…pussy aflame…a la carte nasty niggas. cajun puss. flame broiled. battered and fried.

    here comes Bol waddling along to wash his face in her sexpool. btw, semen does not compare to oil of olay.