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R. Kelly is clearly insane

I think sometimes people read these posts and get the wrong idea, so I’m gonna go ahead and put this out there.

Though I’d like to think that I’m capable of writing intelligently about a range of issues,I don’t have much of an academic background in psychology, or mental health issues in general. And I guess legally, I’m not qualified (er, I should say “certified”) to diagnose anyone as being batshit or schizophrenic or bipolar or whatever.

That said, I’d like to think that I know a crazy person when I see one. For example: Foxy Brown? Clearly insane. If it wasn’t obvious the last few times she was arrested (this year alone) that there’s some sort of disconnect in her brain, I think her antics in the past week or so have more or less closed the case on this issue.

Now it’s all starting to make sense: The reports I received a few years ago from people inside the Def Jam building (verified by Combat Jack, who should know) that she hadn’t been washing her ass; the fact that she claimed to be attacked earlier this year by a group of three street walkers and yet they could only ever find one of them; her giving a wrong name and birth date to the cops the other day.

Do we even know for a fact that she was ever really deaf? I’m just saying.

You know who else strikes me as nucking futs, though (as is the case with evolution) the jury still seems to be out? R. Kelly.

It’s become an issue lately, because I think a lot of cracka-ass crackas have felt guilty about laughing their asses off at the latest round of Trapped in the Closet videos. Kelefah Sanneh, who’s black (right?), suggests in a story in the New York Times the other day that many of his fans may not be laughing with R. Kelly, but rather at R. Kelly.

Nah, right?

Fortunately Tom Breihan, who may or may not be a doctor, but who’s definitely a cracker, thought long and hard on this the other day (nullus?) and has decided that people are, in fact, laughing with R. Kelly. Which I’m sure came as a huge relief to him on a personal level. Lord knows he’s suffered enough grief in the past few years just for being a cracka-ass cracka with an awful taste in music.

However, I’m not so sure I agree with his reasoning. Just because R. Kelly has managed to come up with such wacky bullshit year in and year out (and has made a mint doing so) I don’t think that proves that he isn’t a mental case.

(Personally, I don’t have any problem admitting that I’m definitely laughing at R. Kelly, but then I’m black, which I guess gives me a certain liscense. In fact, call me… um, crazy, but isn’t hip-hop as we know it today all just one big excuse to laugh at sociopathic black people? Tell me I’m lying.)

The reason we know R. Kelly is indeed insane is because, not only has he fucked children (and I don’t even want to speculate how many 13 year-old black chicks he’s run through), but he’s continued to fuck children even after it’s been revealed that he’s a child fucker and that the cops are coming after him for it.

Now, let’s keep it real, unless you’re teh ghey or something, I think we’ve all, at one point in time or another, been tempted to bang some broad some broad who wasn’t quite 18. Maybe she wasn’t even quite 16. But of course most of us would never actually attempt such a thing (especially if she wasn’t black), because we know that a) it’s just wrong, and, more importantly, b) you can go to jail for that shit, in which case you’ll almost certainly be raped by another guy, if not killed.

R. Kelly continues to cruise the High School Musical crowd year in and year out because his brain lacks that certain mechanism, and I’m pretty sure this is the same reason he’s able to come up with shit like Trapped in the Closet and “Sex Zoo” and so on and so forth. He just plain doesn’t think like the rest of us. Hence, I don’t think it’s impossible for any of us to claim that we’re laughing with him. Then again, what do I know? Like I said, I’m not an expert or anything.

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