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Hands off Jay-Z’s wallet

One of the benefits of having not grown up in some awful ghetto is not having to worry about taking care of your friends once you blow the fuck up.

Granted my dumb ass will probably never be really successful, but let’s just say, for the sake of an argument, that I somehow got lucky and stumbled onto a shiteload of money. I wouldn’t have to sweat taking care of my parents, because they already do fairly well as it is. As far as my few friends are concerned, there wouldn’t even be a question. Around here it’s understood: what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is yours. That is, unless your wife is feeling generous…

In the Marcy Projects? Clearly not so much. I’m sure by now most of you fruits have seen these videos and magazine articles and what have you in which these bums accuse Jay-Z of being a fake drug dealer and a liar and an all around bad guy because I guess they feel like now that he’s worth a few gozillion dollars he should cut them a check. Never mind the fact that these guys are supposed to be bad-ass drug dealers who shouldn’t need any charity from anyone.

I suppose on the one hand I can appreciate where these guys are coming from. Having grown up in the Marcy Projects, where your home is actually owned by the city and paid for by… um, Bol’s parents, there may be more of a communal concept of property than there is out here in the flyover states. In that sense it’s not unlike when the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock (which subsequently landed on us!) and attempted to purchase the entire country from the Indians for a few beads and trinkets. Of course the Indians, blood-thirsty savages that they were, had no concept of private property. So perhaps DeHaven and Calvin Klein are just confused.

On the other hand, fuck DeHaven and Calvin Klein. No Lil’ Cease giving another guy a whirly bird. Why should Jay-Z have to give either of them any money just because maybe they used to stand around and sell shitty dimebags on the block 20 years ago? Which is I’m sure the extent of all three of these d-bags’ careers in the drug game. Otherwise, why would these two be making YouTube videos begging Jay-Z, who got all of his money from rappin’, for a handout?

Also, Jay-Z has got to consider the possible liability implications of dealing with such bums. Let’s say Jay does cut both of them a check; what are they going to do with it? It’s not like either of them has much of a bright future producing YouTube videos. Nah, they’d probably run out and try to buy a shiteload of coke and end up getting caught, just like they did before. And then how easy would it be for the Feds to track the seed money from their would-be venture back to Jay-Z.

If there’s one thing that’s been a scourge on hip-hop, other than LCD rap and teh gheyness and all of the other shit I discuss here on a regular basis, it’s this idea that just because one guy becomes successful, his entire family and everyone else on his block should become successful as well. While I doubt Jay-Z was attempting to make some sort of statement by refusing to put these two bums in his will next to Memphis Bleek and Larry Johnson, I hope it serves as a lesson anyway. A real man makes his bones for himself. Throwing a bitch fit and begging another man for his money is something a woman would do.

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