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Enjoy your vacation, Fiddy

So no one gave a shit about that song Fiddy did with Justin Timberlake, and so now they’re gonna put out the one he did with Robin Thicke in a last ditch effort to generate interest in Curtis, lest it end up getting beat out in first week sales by Graduation? As the late, great Chris Farley would say, whoopty frickin’ doo.

Only thing is, this is the umpteenth time now that this is happening. Damn near half the songs on the album have either been released as singles or leaked to the Internets in hopes that someone might actually like them, all to little or no avail. So this time they’re gonna make a whole publicity stunt out of it by claiming that Fiddy, who kinda looks like a gorilla anyway, went apeshit when he found out about it and fucked some shit up.

Hmm…

If I knew what was best for me, I’d probably just go along with this and pretend I didn’t realize it’s all a rather poorly thought out publicity stunt compared to, say, Tony Yayo slapping that kid. But what can I say, other than that I’m sorry. When management is running this bullshit in the headlines section as if it was actual news, it makes me look stupid by association, and obviously it’s not like I need a whole lot of help in that regard.

Granted I can’t claim to have been there or spoken to any of the key players, but I’m calling shenanigans anyway. Maybe Fiddy really didn’t know this Robin Thicke garbage would be leaked to the Internets, and maybe he really is planning on giving up promoting the album. I would too at this point. But it’s pretty obvious to me that one of the TIs at Interscope gave this whole thing the green light. And the reason I know is that if they didn’t, then why would this shit be all over YouTube and Dailymotion?

See, we don’t know for a fact that record labels have committees that comb rap lyrics for mentions of Jews, because the only person who’s even mentioned such a thing is Al Sharpton. But this week alone there was a story on the front page of the business section of my local paper about how record labels have people they pay to look for illegal postings of copyrighted material such as YouTube. And how hard could it be to find a video that’s got its own press release pointing to its location?

As far as the whole thing about Fiddy roid raging on people, again, I don’t doubt that the guy’s on steroids, but think about it. I don’t care how many records the guy sold, what’s the likelihood of Fiddy being able to throw a TV at one of these TIs and get away with it? Granted there wasn’t anything in the news item about him actually aiming the TV at anyone, but what kind of person grabs a TV off the wall and throws it at no one in particular? That’s the kind of shit a woman would do!

If it turns out that Fiddy has been taking shit down off the wall and breaking it in order to voice his frustration, rather than, say, beating the living shit out of somebody, or, here’s a thought, channeling that energy into writing a good song, of course I’m going to be disappointed; but the truth of the matter is that I’m pretty disappointed in this whole ordeal. I didn’t even like 50 Cent’s music back when it was just normal-bad, but the promotion of this album has stunk almost as much as the songs themselves.

I don’t know about the rest of you fruits, but I’m getting tired of hearing about this shit. I hope Fiddy really does go on vacation, for a long-ass time. Get his fucking pool in the back!

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