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Just say no to bums

When it was announced a few weeks ago that Fiddy Cent was firing Sha Money XL from G-Unit and threatening to kick the likes of Lloyd Banks and Young Buck off of the label, I assumed it was a publicity stunt to generate interest in the forthcoming release of Curtis, if only because it occurred so near to the album’s would-be release date.

Think about it: if this was just a business decision, because there isn’t a case to be made financially for releasing albums from bums like Banks and, let’s face it, Mobb Deep, then he could have just as easily waited until later this year or next year, so as not to create the appearance of G-Unit being such a sinking ship.

I’m not saying it’s the best decision in the world, but at least with his non-Vitamin Water business empire being in such a fucked up state of affairs, it allows Fiddy to strike an underdog pose that he probably wouldn’t have been able to otherwise, what with him pocketing $100 million these days to be the black cosigner for a fake brand of Gatorade. No? Maybe?

Of course that was before Fiddy let loose with such godawful singles as “Straight to the Bank” and “Amusement Park” and “I Get Money” and so on and so forth, not to mention his Ashlee Simpson moment at this year’s BET Awards (I know). Also: the album getting pushed way the fuck back to August or whenever, and his bizarre appearance on the cover of last month’s issue of VIBE.

Could it be that Fiddy really is in a huge, ridonkulous tailspin? What’s next, an accident with his ‘roids?

I’d be lying if I said I’m planning on reading this month’s issue of XXL; however, what I’m assuming is one of the more amusing bits from the cover story on Fiddy was excerpted in a recent Rush & Malloy column in the New York Daily News. Come to find out, the real reason Fiddy is cutting ties with those bums in G-Unit is because they cost him such a shiteload of money.

I had read before that the most recent albums by Mobb Deep and Lloyd Banks cost G-Unit $4 million and $2 million respectively, but I just assumed that was because Mobb Deep sucks balls these days, and Lloyd Banks was never any good to begin with. They weren’t gonna make much money anyway, though you have to wonder how G-Unit spends so much money on albums that don’t feature very many beats by name brand producers.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Fiddy claims he spent $8.5 million dollars of his own money so that he could bring these bums with him on his recent tour, so that they could bring their own entourages with them, and so that they could all travel “comfortably.” Seriously? Holy shit! Lord knows I’m gonna have a hard enough time bringing an extra $10, so I can eat at a Wendy’s when I go out of town this weekend.

In that sense, it’s no wonder Fiddy is trying to sever ties with these clowns. I mean, $8.5 million is an insane amount of money to spend on dudes who aren’t going to make you any in return, and that’s just on one tour. Who knows how much he’s spent on them over the years. Fiddy Cent may have a shiteload of money, but he won’t, if he keeps up like that.

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