Freeze

OK after hours and hours and hours of stressful closed-door by-myself meetings, YN has finally done it. Who’s hot, who’s not… MTV got the former and your boy got the latter. It’s a salute to the ones that don’t matter the most! We all know Weezy’s the fireman but who right now in hip-hop has a career that’s ice cold. That’s right, it’s YN’s Top 10 Coldest MC’s.

10. Eve
Yeah we all love the way she shakes that sexy thing, but pop tart tracks like “Tambourine” and collabos with Sean Paul just don’t cut it. The female rap game is in a state of emergency and Eve-o-lution is doin’ very little to change it. Shame on you, sistah.

9. Q-Tip
He’s a legend who just can’t seem to get a record out to save his life. Can’t say that “Work It Out” is burnin’ up on my computer speakers but I still got love for dude. Sylvia, let Kamaal go!

8. Lil Jon
Okaaay! He’s not really an MC but he’s still an artist for Crissakes. Didn’t we have his yellow ass in our Most Anticipated list? Yeah “I’m a J” is alright but that’s all you got. You’re long overdue buddy. Mr. Smith is goin’ out like Chappelle and his impersonation.

7. Young Buck
Duke defied his boss and tried to make peace with his enemies to sell some records. It didn’t work. And I can’t stand his “Let’s Get To The Money” chant. It only works as a hook to a Birdman and Birdman Jr. song. It can’t all be DJ Khaled’s fault.

6. Murphy Lee
Here’s an analogy: Memphis Bleek to Jay-Z equals Murphy Lee to Nelly. How’d you like to be Nelly Nel’s weed carrier? At least Ali gets to hang out with Big Gipp and bag freaky bitches. I’m sure Lee’s next project will get Bleek-ed when the boss decides to drop Brass Knuckles.

5. Paul Wall
White man can rap. White man can fall off. We’re all created equal.

4. Huey
Pop, lock and drop it. Watch my album flop it. Notebook Paper found few takers. Maybe he’s shittin’ on Nelly cuz he wants Murphy Lee’s spot. You must pay dues, doofy.

3. Pharoahe Monch
Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to Black folks except for Eddie Murphy. I watched that video once and I still want the three minutes back of my life that you took from me Mr. Jamerson. And after 8 years, that’s what you give us? Maybe one day your album will make sense.

2. Lil Flip
T.I. really Summer Jam-screened him and he still hasn’t recovered. Yeah you might have gotten Cassidy-ed by 50 too, but credit card schemes? What the peanut-butter-and-jellly, Robert Townsend shit is this?

1. Mike Jones
Who’s colder than an Ice Age chain? No one’s suffered from the hip-hop nation’s H-Town withdrawal more than Mr. Telephone Man. I said: No one’s suffered from the hip-hop nation’s H-Town withdrawal more than Mr. Telephone Man. Be clear homie: Dusty Rhodes is the American Dream and Lil Wayne murdered you on your own shit. Word to The Gremlins.

P.S. Um… Clyde Smith. Clyde Smith. Prohiphop.com. Prohiphop.com.
Prohiphop.com. You happy now? You got your attention. I spoke to an editor from Folio. Let’s hope I don’t get misquoted. Stay tuned sucker. And get Hashim “Hamburger Helper” Warren a job already.