Now that all the papers have been graded and the grades are submitted we can get back to business. I want to give a shout out first to all the graduates of 2007. There are a whole lot of 80’s babies moving onward and upward despite what some people might say(myself included). R.I.P. to Stack Bundles. We barely even knew ye.
So now that summer vacation is about to popoff where the fuck are y’all going? I know about half of y’all fools on the east coast will be going to Virginia Beach for the Fourth. Actually, you have to call it Vahhh Beach. At least that’s what the locals do. I wonder if that ‘hoodrat mall on Military Highway is still open? That is the most likely place for a shootout in the world. It’s one of those ghetto ass malls that only sells sneakers, and fake weave hair. Still and all you can bag up a nice little beatbox from one of the dozen or so nail salons that dot the mall. Virginia broads don’t be shy with their vagina either. These country broads have been slinging their slots since the seventh grade. Or so I hear.
N’Awlins used to be the spot in the summertime when the Essence Festival came through. Bourbon Street hasn’t been the same since Katrina. Don’t you find it ironic that the hurricane that fucked shit up the most was named after a Black chick? Who is gonna fuck your crib up the worst when she catches you fucking around with another woman? A Black chick, of course. She is gonna go crazy and start breaking shit and cussing and kicking up major dust. I haven’t been back to New Orleans because I’m waiting for Lil’ Wang to graduate from the University of Houston (Juneteenth, 2000Nevuary) and run for Ray Nagin’s job as mayor. His platform will be free pills for everyone.
Where do folks in the Midwest go for summer vacation? Vegas? I still haven’t been to Vegas yet, but I have to imagine that shit is hotter than hell during the summer. What is there to do in Vegas other than throw bags of money at strippers? Not that I would ever do that. I need my money. That’s why I don’t go to strip clubs now. Picture me giving someone my rent money to pay their rent. Them chicks need to get a job. It must suck to be from the part of the Midwest that has no water connected to it. At least Texas has the Gulf of Mexico.
I already know that Oakland and San Francisco will be what’s up in California. Maybe this will be the year that Hyphy music finally gets off the ground. That shit is like the Esperanto of rap music. If someone from L.A. would get into that Hyphy shit it might stand a chance. Maybe if Ray J would use some Hyphy music as the soundtrack for one of his new porno movies then at least some people would be obliged to listen to it. Otherwise, Los Angeles and San Diego are still the only reasons to travel to the west coast. San Diego is prah’lee better than L.A. as far as the ladies are concerned. I’m into Philipino chicks like that and San Diego is loaded with that warbaby action.
So wherever you travel for the summer make sure you log on to XXL Mag Dot Com because summer school will be in session on this end and your favorite rapper is the Barry Bonds of the rap game, all juiced up on steroids.