Don’t be like Mike

Just to switch things up from the all Imus all the time nature of the workout as of late, I thought I’d take a look at another arena in which black men have recently taking a L.

It was announced today that 50 Cent and his baby’s mother, who almost certainly doesn’t look anything like the woman who played his baby’s mother in the film Get Rich or Die Tryin’, have come to an agreement in which Fiddy will pay her $10,000 in back child support plus $15,000 per month, presumably from now until the child turns 18.

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ!

According to my calculations, that works out to well over $1 million by the time it’s all said and done with, and that’s assuming Fiddy doesn’t spend any more money on the kid than the amount he’s required to pay each month.

And I shudder to think what percentage of that $15,000 per month will actually be spent on the child. Having worked in the so-called service industry for about 10 years now, I’ve seen my share of mothers blow an entire child support check on a cart full of shit for themselves and maybe a pair of pants for the kid, if he’s lucky.

Interestingly enough, it was Fiddy himself who initiated the hearings, just to set a definite amount. My guess is that his baby’s mother had been gouging him for way more than that, and he wanted to figure out the bare minimum he’d be required by law to pay.

Still, as bad as that sounds, it’s nothing compared to what Michael Jordan had to pay his wife. Forbes magazine recently put together a list of the top 10 most expensive celebrity divorces, and Jordan’s split last December from his wife of 18 years came in number one at $150 million.

Granted, it’s not like Jordan will be hurting for money anytime soon. That is, unless he somehow manages to gamble all of the rest of his fortune away – which, from what I understand, might be more likely than you’d think. But still, that’s way more money than even Steven Spielberg or Paul McCartney had to pay.

And the worst part about it is that I heard that before she got with Jordan, Juanita had already run through her share of other ball players. Obviously I’m no lawyer like our good friend TPAR, but you’d think Jordan’s lawyer could use that against here the same way they did Paul McCartney’s one-legged wife.

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that a man can never be too cautious with his finances, especially once kids are involved. I bet if Michael Jordan had all this to do over again, he probably never would have married Juanita in the first place, especially given her history. If anything, Fiddy oughta feel lucky he didn’t have to pay nearly as much.

  • http://blogs.hiphopdx.com/meka Meka Soul

    >…and Jordan’s split last December from his wife of 18 years came in number one at $150 million.>

    damn.

  • EReal

    Yeah because Fisty was smart and never married that trife bitch. I give him credit for actually paying, most rappers dont.
    This is why you dont get married, kiddies. All those bitches did was pop out kids. You know Jordan’s wife didnt work and Fisty’s baby’s mom is just a hoodrat trifie.

    Fuck gettin married, never that, imma be like Gene Simmons. Thats a smart motherfucker right there.

    1 hunned.

  • http://almostaexpert.com missile 6

    Mike had been with that woman for quite a long time. If she was go live like that I doubt if the relationship would have lasted this long. Thats a lot of cash but Mike got it. This ain’t sending to the poor house I’m sure.

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    That is the thing that I dont get. The money shouldn’t go into the hands of the mother without any checks and balances to folow. There should be social workers auditing these baby mamas. A seperate account should be required and the records of that account should be made available to a social worker handling the case.

    Secondly, why do these outrageuos amounts get awarded for child support. Keyword is child. A child doesn’t need that much money for their monthly expenses. Sure the child should get the best education available along with a nice place to stay (mother benefits from it but hey what can you do) and decent clothing, health insurance, etc…but where is the line drawn. I know all of that doesnt cost 15,000 a month. A mother shouldn’t be able to live off of child support Its not mama/child support. It’s child support.

  • thoreauly77

    nap time.

  • che

    go on youtube and type in byron crawford. you’ll never see bol in the same light again.

  • http://aol.com KIRBS

    YO…150…oh my god i can’t believe that. The people in hip-hop who we think are really cakin it like say a Ludacris will NEVER see 150 mil…this bitch got that for nothing….Kanye was so fuckin right…these dudes have to watch their ass

  • Malcolm X

    Damn that child support shit serious.You know they coming for the brothas first. I bet jordan pissed as hell he gotta give u p half his fortune to her. O well betta him than me.lol

  • SaN

    no wonder Diddy doesnt wanna get hitched to that bitch he uses as a baby making factory….damn

  • these posts are racist

    BOL-

    Are you against the concept of marital property and the payment of child support/alimony, etc.?

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Are you against the concept of marital property and the payment of child support/alimony, etc.?

    Well, I’m not sure.

    In this case, which option would be considered racist?

  • these posts are racist

    “In this case, which option would be considered racist?”

    Neither…and I never said or implied you were being racist here.

  • these posts are racist

    “In this case, which option would be considered racist?”

    Neither…and I never said or implied that you were being racist here.

  • thatdukeSuave

    At least MJ & 50 can see their kids if/when they want to. There are a lot of cats out there breakin the bank on seeds they never even set their eyes on. Now thats a crime!

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Neither…and I never said or implied that you were being racist here.

    Well, in that case, no. I’m not in favor of any of those things.

  • DANJA29

    Got-damn… it’s def. cheaper to keep her.

    But fukkit, at least Jordan’s just givin’ up half of 300 million. I don’t feel as bad for him as a nigga who’s prob. gettin’ divorced and only makes about 30,000 a year.

  • Dr Flav

    Jesus does not tapdance, he does the two step. That is all.

  • http://www.first.com First

    ^^”In this case, which option would be considered racist?”

    - LOL!!!

  • ak47

    add another to the robin givens crew.

    and black women wonder why people are callin them bitches and hoes.

  • Tek

    Mike was fucking hoe’s all day long. That’s no secret. I once saw the man in Scottsdale, AZ at a table with 10 dudes + security. His security went up to the bar and asked some of my girlfriends who tended bar if they wanted to go to the hotel and “party” with Mike. He had dudes hooking up the pussy all night!

  • iloverapmusic

    hahaahha che youtube byron crawford video is hilarious…..bol is a gay ass dude that shit was funny

  • A.Cambry

    God, grow up. Is the concept of being in love with a woman (especially a Black one) that foreign to you? The least that Jordan and Fiddy could do is support their kids financially, hell, we all know they aren’t spending any real time with them (especially 50). 50 Cent openly admitted that he didn’t spend any time with his child, what the **** is that? Be a man and have a relationship. Marry a woman who desires something beyond finances and have a baby with her. That’s what the moral of the story should be.

    And say what you want about the former Mrs. Jordan, but I’ve always believed that lady to be on point. All she’s ever done is been there for him. His addiction to gambling, his affair with that white woman who tried to pull some Billie Jean and claimed that boy was Mike’s son. There’s only so much you can take when your emotionally invested in someone who refuses to do right by you.

    150 Mill is a chitload of money but he hasn’t contested the amount (yet anyway), so why are you trippin over money that certainly ain’t coming out of YOUR pocket?

  • http://www.first.com First

    ^^ Dude you’re super gay for trying to find videos of Bol. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  • sk

    Totally off topic,

    What’s up with Yayo’s MOM’S house getting shot up?

  • Malik C.

    I’d rather just call up OJ.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >What’s up with Yayo’s MOM’S house getting shot up?

    Obviously it’s because he slapped the shit out of that kid.

  • You all are funny

    Okay good lord, this is getting ridiculous – did you at all RESEARCH that previous post???? Obviously not, because the statement about Mike and Juanita is/was speculation!!!! Their divorce is not final yet and they’re saying what she could possibly get. Damn dude, these posts are seriously becoming the definition of hyperBOLe!

    Ms. Diva, Esq.

  • HIJOKKA

    Yo BOL, what up with the you-tube vid? man you calling kayeezy fag but man if you don’t sound like a gay ass white guy than I don’t what or who does. You mugging all hard on yo pic but man that vid called you out bad man . Shoulda never did that interview. About Fif – he knows waht he’s doing. Mj’s payout is one of the reasons Fif getting his payment structure done now before he has to cough up $20 mill plus (she ain’t his wife)

  • these posts are racist

    that’s the problem here. stop hating on BOL’s appearance/way he talks, or whatever and challenge, discuss his ideas. its weak and cheap to simply insult him for those reasons…be a critical thinker and debate/discuss issues.

  • Smash Gordon!

    corrections paul mccartney hasn’t settle yet…it’s estimated that he will have to fork over 500 mil…. possibly

  • Fernando

    TPAR.

    Dude, you seriously need to stop being so lovey dovey, Mr. Politically correct. This isnt a serious debate forum with edumacated people. This is Bol’s backyard. This sh*t would never fly if Transient was still around.

    Bol is a piece of sh*t. End of story. He lives at his Moms house. He jerks it to Gin blossom videos. And he has to say Nullus all the time because he obviously gives off the teh ghey impression when you hear him talk. He slams on peoples looks, yet he resembles the black blob parent from the BarbaPapas.

    And arent you the one that calls him “self-hater” all the time because he calls out black people on things that should not be ignored/glorified? Such as…..Southern Rap.

  • http://www.akirathedon.com AK DONOVAN

    Yo Ereal – bad news for you:

    Gene Simmons is MARRIED.

    @!

  • http://xxlmag.com houston’s finest

    1st, if they don’t want kids, go buy a box of trojan rubbers, they work. 2nd, i’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that 5% of that child support will actually go to the child. that’s the real crime. these women are treating their kids like paychecks. 50 should request to see receipts for where the money goes, then we’ll weed out the women who really need that much cake and those who just spend it on self. these girls are slikc nowadays

  • http://xxlmag.com houston’s finest

    ^^^^
    slick

  • these posts are racist

    Fernando:

    You have called me a “towl head” and “terrorist” and have made countless anti-african american statements. Do you really think i’m going to respond to you on a serious level?

    You are a racist. And calling you a racist is not the same as talking about how BOL looks/sounds, etc. Its a description based on, inter alia, the statments I describe here.

  • http://junglemission.blogspot.com jimmy starburst

    any links to a picture of fifty’s wife?

    incidentally, other rappers and their (ugly) wives:
    http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2005/06/13/the-brothas-their-ugly-bitches/

  • GATE13

    Some of the comments up in here are so fuckin funny.

    The BITCHES and HOES mentioned are gold diggas for real. They better hustlas than all these fake ass rappers.

  • rec

    these posts are racist Says:

    April 19th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
    “In this case, which option would be considered racist?”

    Neither…and I never said or implied that you were being racist here.

    ^^^^
    uuuummm….lol

  • http://www.xxlmag.com VALLEJO JIGGA

    THESE POSTS ARE RACIST…why are you treating this forum like an english class…ur jus blobbering on about non-sense that ppl (us in here) really don’t give a FUCK about…haha…keep ur ish on topic and stop trying to battle everyone’s comments…CALM THE FUCK DOWN MAYNE…THINK ABOUT IT…TAKE A SECOND…HAHA

  • BIGNAT

    shit i say when you pay more than 1000 a month in child support the baby momma owes you pussy payments. at least 3 times a week. head on every legal holiday and your birthday hahahha

  • DirtDoggy

    What is the world coming to ? how could a judge possibly justify giving half of $300 milly.

    Sign those prenups kids.

  • http://www.myspace.com/theanticorp SONNY CHEEBA

    boo hoo…

  • Shay aka A&R SuperStar

    I don’t think your up bringing should have an adverse reflection on your view to, whether one should pay to look after their SEED!

  • dfd

    now u see why jay-z the billionair aint wasting his time marrying no bicthes

  • stoneyisland

    besides for Mike who deserves everything his bald headed shoe selling ass deserves. The rest of these fools have got to be the stupidest muthafuckas alive, have they not heard of a prenup? I mean you making that type of paper you get a law firm, not an individual lawyer but an entire firm to draw up your shit. I said once and I say it again the most dangerous weapon on earth is PUSSY. That shit is a weapon of mass destruction:)

  • yea yea yea

    Fernando get off of Transient’s nutsachs, he never like yous anyway

  • Fernando

    TPAR-

    Not just a towel head…..but a hyper sensitive, ghey towel head. I dont care if you call me a racist, because you are a muslim b*tch that means nothing. Nobody cares about your backwards logic on how everything is the fault of racism. Go hold up a sign somewhere. I dont want a serious response from you. You are a joke. People like you that constantly promote the “poor me” victim complex in the black community is doing more harm than good. And calling out Islam for harboring millions of looney terrorists isnt that far off base. You fools are crazy.

  • jrjomo

    Didn’t Bob Johnson have to give his wife like 1.5 Billion when they divorced?

  • Elijah

    lol at jrjomo, bob johnson isn’t even worth 1.5 billion

  • http://google.com ddddd

    Obviously I’m no lawyer like our good friend TPAR

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    ohhhhhhhhhh

  • EDUMACATE ME

    Hahahahaha, how did this devolve into a serious discussion? The point of this blog is to poke fun at overly sensitive, politically correct dipshits, such as Mr. Racist.

  • Will The Thrill

    She take my money, when I’m in need/Yeah, she’s a triflin’ friend indeed/Oh, she’s a golddigger, way over town, that digs on me…