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Where The Hell Are These Fools Now? The 2000′s

Bless NaS little heart for trying to save Hip-Hop vis-a-vis rap music. The ‘Where Are They Now’ remixes have been the best thing I’ve seen on the internets second only to me writing for XXLMAG dot com. But in the lovefest that has been spawned by the unearthing of Tupac’s casket we kind of forgot to look to the recent past of artist disappearances. I don’t want another year to go by without knowing what happened to Jigga’s former lady weed carrier Amil.

I’ve got a fucked up long term memory from smoking too many Garcia y Vegas so listening to rap music icons from the 90′s doesn’t really resonate with me. What about all the cats that were hot just last year? Where are they at now? Let’s save these rappers. Either NaS needs to do a Where Are They Now 2000′s joint or we need to buy a milk carton company so that maybe we can find some of these lost artists. If they found those two little white kids in Missouri why shouldn’t we be able to find Tah Murder? Here’s my lineup for remix of the new millenium’s ‘Where The Hell Are These Fools?’

Juelz Santana – What the hell happened to this dude? Juelz was touted as the second coming of Shyne by Cam’Ron and everyone else that was part of the Dip Set camp. The only thing similar to Shyne has been Juelz disappearance from the scene. I know Shyne is in jail, but whats Santana’s story.

Dem Franchize Boyz – Where are these dudes at when Hip-Hop needs them the most? A song about white socks could save rap music right now.

Mike Jones – This time around it’s not ‘Who Is Mike Jones?’, but where the fuck is Mike Jones? I thought I heard some new shit from this dude but it was only some other dude that sounded like he had marbles in his mouth. All of these Texas cats combined can’t fuck with the D.O.C. and his lung is broken.

Vita/Rah Digga/Lil’ Kim – Three of my favorite rappers must all be on maternity leave at the same time. I can understand why Vita is blacked out because her Murder Inc. contract isn’t even worth the paper it’s printed on, but Rah Digga and Lil’ Kim have more skills than 95% of the fools in the game now. They’re both more hardbody than most rappers too. If Kim’s P.R. people are reading this shit, do your girl a favor and get her arrested for shoplifting or robbing a bank or something. Just get her ass in the news before I forget that she’s back home.

M.O.P. – G-Unit looks like a black hole vortex for it’s artists. A lot of cats are signed to some kind of deal but I only hear work from the same three dudes. M.O.P. took a curious route in the rap game. They went from indie label to major imprint when most rappers do the reverse. I’ve seen Billy Danz in photos so I know they aren’t locked up somewhere. I hope these dudes get another chance to bring their hardbody rhymes back to the people.

There are some more cats that need to get their own milk carton if they don’t show their faces before spring, but I will save that for another post.

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