Fly Away

So tonight’s the night John Brown wins $100,000, right? I was talking to white rapper (and WRS expert) Jamie Radford the other day and he said he thought it might be Shamrock, but I’d say it’s John Brown who’s this series’ break out star either way. Might as well give him the money.

Last week, the white rappers took a pilgrimage to the white rapper mecca that is Detroit and Jus Rhyme ended up getting sent home. This week, it’s back to the White House, in the South Bronx. The episode begins with them getting their buzz cuts tightened up by some local barber.

This week’s competition involves performing at the legendary Rucker Park. That noted expert on hip-hop performing Fat Joe stops by to give the white rappers some last minute pointers. According to Fat Joe it’s important to give a good performance rather than a bad performance.

[Commerical Break: I like how the commercial for whatever this Def Jam ICON is uses the beat from Jim Jones' "We Fly High" rather than, say, something from the last Jay album. Presumably Jay didn't sign off on that one. Oh, who are we kidding? Jay-Z doesn't sign off on shit!]

Shamrock doesn’t get off to a very good start at the Rucker. At first, his mic doesn’t work and then his grill falls out of his mic while he’s rapping. John Brown does better with the “everybody say ho” stuff, but he kinda chokes during the actual rappin’. Shamrock I think does better once he manages to pull it all together.

Back at the White House, Serch gives them both CDs of beats by today’s hottest producers and tells them to get focused for the final competition. He seems to get on John Brown especially for choking up during performaces. Foreshadowing? MacGuffin?

The next day, two of the white rappers’ friends show up all of a sudden. Shamrock’s boy looks like a not-so-chubby Bonecrusher, while John Brown’s boy is some teh ghey fashion designer. Whoever does the captions makes it a point to question the nature of his and John Brown’s relationship.

According to Serch, the final mission will involve traveling to the hottest place evar? Mexico? They pack their shit and leave the White House for the last time. As it turns out, the van takes them to what looks like a hell themed performance hall. As the white rappers arrive, RA the Rugged Man is on stage performing “Chains.”

The panel of judges for this final competition includes Dante Ross, Clinton Sparks, who looks mad cracka-ass cracka-ish and Prince Paul.

John Brown goes first and kicks an admittedly pretty decent verse. He still doesn’t have much in the way of charisma. Shamrock is probably at a disadvantage since this final competition takes place in NY rather than Atlanta and the beat he rhymes over isn’t very southern-sounding, but he does pretty good as well.

Truth be told, John Brown might not have as much of an edge in this final competition though just because so many of the things that have made him endearing (nullus) during the course of this series didn’t necessarily have to do with his skills on the mic, especially in front of a live audience.

The second round involves performing an actual song. John Brown’s song sounds like a dead prez song about white people’s cars – in a bad way. And the sad thing is, he may have actually had the better song of the two. Shamrock’s song is just… wrong.

Deliberation: The judges seem to like Shamrock more than John Brown. It looks like Serch is trying to steer them towards John Brown.

And the winner is… Shamrock! Damnit, Jamie Radford was right. Dallas Penn was wrong. Either way, I’d say John Brown is coming out of this thing with more buzz. It’ll be interesting to see if either of them has much of a career as a recording artist.

  • EnglandRepresent

    First!!! Yes, yes, yes. I made it!! I’m first!!! I’d like to say a big fuck you to Wayne, you batty little niglet!! Don’t care about the show, John Brown looks like a down-syndrome retard on ecstacy.

    First muthafuckas

  • anonymous

    you forgot the best part. Dante saying something along the lines of “lyrics don’t matter” while discussing who should win.

  • dolo

    First …. john brown kinda was dead on stage ..lol @ ICON with jim jones playin ..

  • OnE3nD

    John Browwn should have won because………….It don’t matter he was just the only one always on point and Shamrock was always off beat…anyways Ghetto Revival and Hallelujah Holla BACK will go down as one of the best quotes in my mind lol.

  • Coop

    First.

  • hhnf

    first!

    john brown is better lyrically, but i just cant help but be put off by the sligthly autistic stare he maintains at all times

  • Theone

    first!!!!!

  • John Brown

    I got robbed.

    HALLELUJAH…HOLLA BACK

  • http://www.2020proof.org peter divito

    i think it was pretty easy to predict shamrock was going to take it down. the show wanted to be humorous, but still be taken seriously. if john brown would have won the whole show it would have been looked at as a total joke. you can’t say your show is for hip-hop culture and have someone like jb come out on top. when people yell out “ghetto revival” and “hallelujah, holla back” it is mockin the king of the burbs not saluting him.

  • http://www.myspace.com/lone11 lone1

    Both of those fuckers suck…but I’d rather Shamrock win than John Brown.

  • http://www.myspace.com/cshot TOPSHOTTA CSHOT

    JUST GOT BACK TO THE CRIB FROM CELEBRATING WITH SHAMROCK AND THE CREW EASTSIDE A TOWN STYLE TO SEE A COUPLE A HATER’S ON THE BOARD ALREADY SO I GOTTA POST ESPECIALLY SINCE JOHN BROWN WHO MUST BE FEELIN FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW.. FUMING WITH HATE POSTING AT LIKE 1 IN THE MORNIN…AS I SIT BACK BLOWING A 20 DOLLAR BILL (THAT’S KUSH FOR THE CHALLENGED) ON THE G FIZZY REALIZING ALL THAT KING OF THE BURBS SHIT GOT SHAM 100,000 AND HE CAME BACK TO THE HOOD AND NOW HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE MILLIONS…EVEN THOUGH JB WAS A NICE LYRICIST SHAM IS THE OVERALL PACKAGE THAT ALWAYZ HAD TO WORK HARDER THAN EVERYONE ELSE WITH WORK ETHIC RHYMEZ AND TALENT AND MOST IMPORTANT HEART WHICH IS WHAT JB LACKED SO SORRY JB…LOOK AT IT THIS WAY TOMORROW AND FOREVER YOU’LL ALWAYZ BE KING OF THE GHETTO REVIVAL HALLELU ETC…. WHATEVER THAT IS…AND WE WILL ALWAYZ BE SIX SIX TWO [MOB] CONSTANTLY GETTIN PAPER FUCKIN YOUR BITCHES MAKIN DOPE MUZIK AND LEAVING A MARK IN THIS RAP GAME PUSSY!…HOW DOES THAT FEEL?
    http://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/CSHOT

  • Hallelujah Holla Back

    Bullshit, JOHN BROWN won hands down just because he didn’t have more energy or a commercial head banger, get the fuck outta here. Ghetto Revival over Grillz(Shamrock)

  • http://dahshyt.blogspot.com Belize

    Fun show. JB should just make “halleluyah hollah back” ringtones…that would be the white version of “im rich, bitch!”

  • $hamrock

    a, i won. thanks yall.
    im from the a but i’m in the d, to tear up a run down mc

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    I just got back from the (white) Rapper Show wrap party where John Brown performed. The John Brown in this thread is the worst kind of swagger jacker ever. Go kill yourself homey.

  • blergmatic

    Birds of a feather flock together. JB you lookin real suspect off the strength of ya boy. Shamrock, in the black community a person has to really be dark for us to call them black anything. Ya boy definetly is not charcoalish and talks like a white boy so I’m thinking the reason his name is Black Josh is because he was the only black person in ya school. I would rather JB win the 100 G’s cuz he seems to rep more of what he is and not just copying what is hot right now in Hip Hop. Serch what kind of message are you sending to aspiring rappers? Hallelujah….this show is over.

  • jacquez
  • Fuck Bol

    fuck these wiggers and fuck u bol. Dickheads

  • thatdukeSuave

    I like how the commercial for whatever this Def Jam ICON is uses the beat from Jim Jones’ “We Fly High” rather than, say, something from the last Jay album. Presumably Jay didn’t sign off on that one. Oh, who are we kidding? Jay-Z doesn’t sign off on shit!]
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Didn’t you already say this shit one time? Did it get ignored so you thought you’d mention it again? Fuck outta here! So what reality show you gon hit us with next? The Hills? (I would throw a mean one in LC tho, real talk)
    Actually, just some good ol’ fashioned Bol-arious hip hop music & event blogs would be great. I know everybody act all mad at Sunday, but his shit is at least inspiring discussions

  • thecollinb

    John Brown
    i’m sure the contract read that you could bring your “homeboy” through on the last episode….i don’t know if you got excited and read “homo” but you should have left that fruit roll up at “home” ocky.
    “hallelujah swallow back”

  • derfla the hus’la

    daim bol you bullshit show is now over whats next, weekly review of my sweet sixteen? faggot ass cracker idolising looser.

  • thecollinb

    THEDUCKSUAVE said:
    “(I would throw a mean one in LC tho, real talk)”
    referring to a white hoe from an mtv reality show by her real nickname and not “the white bitch from that mtv joint” as she is affectionately referred to in the hood isn’t the best look broseph.
    status aint hood

  • content

    Sully was the only halfway decent rapper on the show and the producers were foolish enough to let him get away.

    He probably would have forgotten the words to his song though.

  • EReal

    I called it. First episode.
    And last week for that matter.

    Fuck the (Ghey) Rapper Show.

    1 hunned.

  • ehu$tle

    yo the goal was to make a full song to win and plain n simple thats what john brown did. the subject of the song actually was hot and the lyrics made since but just as always the dumb ass song prevailed that had no substance or song structure at all the only he did good on was his bounce flow but u could barley hear his words. all u gotta do is look at prince pauls reaction and u would see the wrong decision was made. i guess one of the judges was right when he said ” lyrics just dont matter no more” and thats so not true

  • hurricane…bitches

    John Brown was fucking robbed. His 16 bars were fucking ill as fuck.

    But really he played himself. The crowd and those two white fuck judgees didnt know shit. They just wanted to hear a banging beat and good chorus. Which john brown has been making the whole series but then comes weak on his songs chorus.

    Fuck.

    Hellaluja Holla Back is one of the catchiest catch phrases ever though.

  • http://www.myspace.com/pizomuzik Pizo

    the next coming…
    http://www.myspace.com/pizomuzik
    get at me.

  • SexySouthernKitten

    I think that this show came down to who was more marketable and IF that was the case then $hamrock is the best choice (I called that from episode 1). Granted there were better lyricist (i.e. Persia and Sullee), but Clinton Sparks did make a valid point. . .lyrics DON’T matter as much. And rappers from ALL regions are partly responsible for that. I also believe the popularity of the south helped $ham. John Brown just came off as suburbian Dame Dash and I’m happy he lost! Conngrats $ham!!!!!!!!!!!

  • frostyfreeze

    Dear Unsigned MySpace Rappers,

    No one wants to “get at” your MySpace link or “go listen” to your MySpace demos. Knock it off, it’s embarassing.

    Sincerely yours,

    Everyone Else

  • http://XXL Frisko’s Finest

    John Brown in my mind is the Champ!

  • http://www.sungmusic.blogspot.com cause I can’t relate to livin less than great

    “it’s a ghetto revival, hallelujah holla back!”

    C’mon man. Out of all the white rappers out there, this was the best they could do?

    waste of time.

  • Ca$t Money

    i think brown will come out bigger. american idol style. 2nd place is cool if he gets after like bols boyfriend clay akian(no homo)

  • thatdukeSuave

    thecollinb Says:

    February 27th, 2007 at 10:29 am
    THEDUCKSUAVE said:
    “(I would throw a mean one in LC tho, real talk)”
    referring to a white hoe from an mtv reality show by her real nickname and not “the white bitch from that mtv joint” as she is affectionately referred to in the hood isn’t the best look broseph.
    status aint hood
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Don’t worry bout my status, son: I’m white, and my girl checks in on the show. So you call her what you want and I will keep callin her whatever it takes to get in them rich ass pants, while my girl watches me on the show if i could make that shit happen. And this ain’t the ‘hood’, homie, its a blog. Look out the window in the street sometime, but you’ll have to open it to hear what people talkin’. Check.

  • Bug$
  • Bug$
  • White boy

    Speaking of John Brown I would like to knock that little fuckin rich boy’s fuckin teeth down his throat. He never seen no ghetto. He probably has had everything hes ever got handed to him/ what ghetto struggle does this kid know

  • East STL

    These White boys are jokes they actually think they tight
    East Side run shit 618 up 314 down

  • a town

    Bol:

    “Clinton Sparks, who looks mad cracka-ass cracka-ish”

    derfla the hus’la Says:

    February 27th, 2007 at 10:23 am
    daim bol you bullshit show is now over whats next, weekly review of my sweet sixteen? faggot ass cracker idolising looser.

    Fuck Bol Says:

    February 27th, 2007 at 8:07 am
    fuck these wiggers and fuck u bol. Dickheads

    —Fuck all of you racist mother fuckers, faggot ass bitches

  • NSW

    Did it really matter who won? I wanted Sulley or whatever the fuck his name is to win but the point is, u got to market to the audience and JB made a hot song but it was not for that crowd plus his stage presence sucked he wanted the money but he looked like he didn’t give a fuck.

  • HUH?

    Man JB looks like a retarded shaved ewok plan and simple. Looked like his homie aka QUEEN OF THE HERBS taught him how to hold the mic in rucker I honestly thought he was gonna swallow that shit. All u fools tlakin bout how clean he (JB) is but as soon as ol boi started talking he skillz went out the window. Atleast Shamrock never tried to sell some bullshit image

  • Jay Crook

    i wasnt a bullshit image it was a joke .. Ghetto Revival / King of the Burbs ?? dont u get it ??? his name is freaking John Brown think about it or go look up John Brown if u dont knw who that is .. he is a smart dude and the Car Wars song was mad political he did a “I Used to Love Her” and was rapping about Oil and Iraq .. but none of yall probably understood that ..

  • yung Htown

    FUCK JOHN BROWN.

    What it dew keep reppin’ Sham FAT JOE told you already the south is where it’s at Houston Stand up; Atlanta Stand up!!

  • Cuban Link

    i like the fact that John brown didnt even say one word to his little friend.FUCK SHAMROCK.I am so fucking sick of these southern hicks

  • Cuban Link

    lmao @ EnglandRepresent

  • Cuban Link

    John Brown Says:

    February 27th, 2007 at 12:23 am
    I got robbed.

    HALLELUJAH…HOLLA BACK

    ^^^ahahaha lmao

  • Bova

    Who ever wrote this sucks. it is so wrong

  • http://rapdogs.com/ bcthecrook

    http://rapdogs.com/

    is the place for upcomming rappers

  • http://www.myspace.com/420_juggalo4life Dub-R

    John Brown Is The Man
    He Should Of Won From The Beginning
    You People Hating On Him Are So Stupid
    He LOVES The HATE
    You Idiots
    I Can’t Hate Him Tho Cuz His Shit’s Where It’s At
    $hamrock Is Another Paul Wall
    Y’all Say $ham’s No Gimmick
    Then What’s Up With The Grills?

  • FUCK BITCH

    fuck you bith go choke ya self with ya own damn cuban link you gay fucka..