Bask in it

Can you believe the (White ) Rapper Show is down to four rappers already? Last week, both Sullee and Jon Boy left, because Sullee quit and Jon Boy’s dumbass let Sullee talk him into not following directions. Now all that’s left are Persia, John Brown, Jus Rhyme, and Shamrock.

Persia has had it pretty easy thus far, but Jus Rhyme has yet to even appear in the elimination round. Persia criticizes John Brown for not really going hard on Sulllee, and it looks like her and Mr. Ghetto Revival might be getting into it this episode.

Tonight’s first event involves appearing on the Miss Jones program, on Hot 97. Miss Jones’ is a lot fatter than she was back in the day, and her boobs are practically falling out of her shirt. It might be hot if you’re into that sort of thing, but I think I just actually lost my rod.

They all have to freestyle over the radio. Miss Jones gives them a hard ass time, because you know how black chicks hate white people, and she makes it a point to play up the white part for her listeners – though I guess part of it’s because they can’t see that over the radio.

And to her credit, these are some wack motherfuckers. Myy favorite at this point would have to be John Brown just for the catchphrases, but none of these d-bags are genuinely impressive as an MC.

Speaking of John Brown, his dumb ass makes the mistake of mentioning Clear Channel on the air, which prompts Miss Jones to do that thing with her kneck that I’d know by name if I was more familiar with lower class black people.

Honestly, the dude kinda scored some points with me with that one. Nullus. Ghetto Revival! Hallelujah Holla Back! Persia, on the other hand, was none too pleased, and takes it as an excuse to continue her previous tirade against him.

That night, John Brown finds a moose head in his bed, Godfather-style. Jus Rhyme owns up to putting it there and finds it impossibly funny, but John Brown doesn’t find it nearly as amusing. It’s clear to him this competition is now each man for himself.

The next day, a teh ghey guy is brought in to help the white rappers cultivate their thug image. He mentions that hip-hop thug wear is based on prison culture and – by extension, we can presume – teh ghey culture.

Oh, in my white tee indeed.

HBO’s Saigon, who almost certainly had sex with men in prison (seen his MySpace lately?) is brought in to grade the white rappers on their thugginess. The competition itself is some silly shit involving running up the street with a shopping cart and stealing a bike.

The three guys finish the competion in decent enough time (Shamrock has an issue with stealing the bike), but Persia gets winded early on and has a problem pushing the cart up the street, which is on the slightest of inclines.

After the competition, she locks herself in the bathroom and ends up keeling over Fat Elvis-style. In the most dramatic fashion possible, they hook her up to an oxygen tank and wheel her out of the house, as if she’s anything other than fat and winded.

For winning the competition, Jus Rhymes win a “thug’s night out on the town” with Noreaga. Jus Rhyme gets to pick one white rapper to go with him, Jus picks the King of the Suburbs. Noreaga looks like he’s been eating pretty well on this reggaeton bullshit.

The dinner seems to last all of five minutes. At home, Shamrock and Persia, who was never actually admitted to the hospital, talk shit about John Brown. When they get back, John Brown and Shamrock kinda get into it.

Even though Jus Rhyme won, he’s not immune from elimination. After all, there’s only four of them left at this point. The final competition involves writing a thugged out version of nursery rhymes they pick from a big-ass box of crayons.

Final round: John Brown’s verse is solid but underwhelming, Shamrock’s is laugh out loud funny (even Serch couldn’t help but chuckle a bit), Persia stumbles and can’t even finish, Jus Rhyme’s was kinda retarded, but at least he finished.

So Persia is forced to step off. You can tell Serch hates to even have to tell her. He would send Jus Rhyme home, because he’s fucking wack, but at least he had the balls to finish. Also, does anyone know if Serch is from Far Rockaway?

NEXT WEEK: The white rappers visit the white rap Graceland.

  • ghetto revival

    hallelujah, hollaback bitches. fuck bein first.

  • B-more legend

    fuck all you lil first hoes and these all those white dudes blow dogs for quarters, its like there finally realizing its all a joke

  • rat worship

    FIRST

  • http://dman8784myspace.com dubldealing

    king of the ‘burbs…haleluja holla back..ghetto revival baby..this show is funny as a mother fucker!

  • Hurricane Game

    Gay!!!

  • E AKA THE REAL NORIEAGA

    HBO’s Saigon, who almost certainly had sex with men in prison (seen his MySpace lately?)
    ^^^^^LMAO
    Does Saigon have access to Barry Bonds steriod cream(nhjic)? hurry up and finish the album Saigiddy

    Noreaga looks like he’s been eating pretty well on this reggaeton bullshit.
    ^^^^^^
    All them tamales and tacos add up. NORE’s releasing a solo album and an album with Capone this year…CHEA

  • derfla the hus’la

    And to her credit, these are some wack motherfuckers. Myy favorite at this point would have to be John Brown just for the catchphrases, but none of these d-bags are genuinely impressive as an MC.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    you think……………

  • http://www.jahmodi-carstrucks.blogspot.com jahmodi

    Nah I think Serch is from Long Island…in the “boondocks” somewhere.
    This show sucks.

  • OnE3nD

    Hahahaha to Noreiga

  • nike

    I must say one of your funnier blogs Bol…this show funnier and more stereotypical than a mofo! hallelujah holla-back….now he got me saying that. Persia was overweight anyway…image is important.

    Shamrock is clearly winning.

    want the shirt prince paul was rocking? visit http://www.jamhuriwear.com

  • nike345

    I must say one of your funnier blogs Bol…this show funnier and more stereotypical than a mofo! hallelujah holla-back….now he got me saying that. Persia was overweight anyway…image is important.

    Shamrock is clearly winning.

    want the shirt prince paul was rocking? visit http://www.jamhuriwear.com

  • Trife Da Soul Ripper

    Yo Bol, you got some real hatin ass bloggers out there, its time to suit up real talk, i bet you already know what im talkin bout. Mans are editing my comments everytime I back you up on their shit, sick mofos.

  • http://naturalbodilyfunction.blogger.com kayos

    search is from far rock… he looked hurt 2 send her home… o well.

  • NickeNitro

    OMG!! He called John Boy a dumbass!! That’s a real zinger!

    OMG!! He talked about boobs falling out of shirt!! OMG!! Boobs!! Out of shirt!! This guy’s crazy!!

    Holy crapola!!! He said “wack motherfuckers!” OMG!

    Jeepers!! He said Saigon had gay prison sex!! ANOTHER ZINGER!! This is, like, totally crazy or something! Where does it end?!?

    Wow, that Bol, he sure is one wild and crazy guy! What WILL he say next?!?

  • John Brown

    Hallelujah…Holla Back

    I hope John Brown wins because he is one funny Mofo. Is true none of them are MC but atleast John Brown has personality. And whats up with Shamrock “Im not a thug, I am a hustler.” John Brown should get his own wack reality show on VH1, for all the stupidity he says.

    P.S. For once Persia took a bite she couldnt finish. HA HA HA

  • jacquez
  • Tyler

    Don’t U just love laughing at White people? That fat Bitch all most pulled a Anna Nicole without the big nice breast up on ‘dat bitch which would of been funny as hell. Peep the heat:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • EReal

    LOL @ Nickenitro

    No-one gives a shit Jabba. WTF.
    I can tell that even Jabba teh Bol is gettin sick of reviewing this crap.

    1 hunned.

  • http://none ezey

    hey bol! i love the way that you cant get through 3 sentences in this bullshit without making some sort of gay reference. caught your video on you tube and i have to say by looking (and listening……i kno now y you only write-ur life sucks in that body you have) at you why you are so hateful. u look like a virgin except with men. no you gay ass scarr ass voice. good luck getting any kind of acceptable chick with out paying for it.

  • Belize

    lmao @ Dead seri0us

  • D

    This is bullshit man. I’m not going to hate though, oh wait its too late..

  • DANJA29

    Bol… you’re corny.

    But yes, Jus Rhyme is slowly becoming even more annoying than John Brown. At least JB is good for laughs, JR is just a smart dumb cracka.

  • KFrizzle

    Damn am I the only one who found it HILARIOUS when jus rhyme busted his shit trying to ghostride that bike across the finish line? I must have replayed that shit on DVR about 20 times crying like a damn baby laughing.

    Saigon was like HOPE YALL GOT THAT, and Serch did a lean back terror squad style when they did the slow motion replay. JR’s face was fu#$ing priceless when he was waiting to hear his time. That has to be one of the top 10 funniest things I’ve ever seen.

    Serch: LMFAO, THAT WAS WILLLLD RIGHT THERE.

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • John Brown

    I like laughing at white people myself. True story, everytime i see a white bum on the corner asking for money i always give him $2-4 dollars. See I look at it like this if I give him money, he is going to always go to that corner thinking he has accomplished something. Since he is white he is bring the white people down

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    John Brown Says:

    February 13th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
    I like laughing at white people myself. True story, everytime i see a white bum on the corner asking for money i always give him $2-4 dollars. See I look at it like this if I give him money, he is going to always go to that corner thinking he has accomplished something. Since he is white he is bring the white people down

    ^^^^^^^

    Instead, why don’t you give $2-$4 to a black bum …. that will be YOU helping to bring black people UP (that is, if your African American). Your focusing on the wrong thing.

    ……. but of course, that’s My Effin’ Opinion

  • http://highbridnation.highbrid.com Evorgleb

    these dudes can not be the best white rappers. jus rhyme is garbage

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz da’realestwritin’

    FUCK DAT’ WHOLE SHOW! NONE OF THEM CATS EVER GON’ BLOW (EXECPT MAYBE PERSIA BEHIND THE SCENES)THIS SHIT IS RIDICULOUS (NO JIM JONES RAPPIN’)SERCH AND ANYBODY INVOLVED WIT’ THIS SHIT NEED TO BE CLAPPED IN FRONT OF A MAJOR TELEVISION AUDIENCE! YES IT’ SFUNNY TO LAUGH AT DUMB-ASS WHITE KIDS BUT WERE LAUGHIN’ AT THEM REFLECT A CULTURE WE BUILT.ON ONE HAND IT’S MAD FUNNY SHIT BUT ON THE OTHER IT;S SORTA LIKE THE WHITE MANS WAY OF SAYIN’ YA’LL SHIT IS A JOKE TO US! I DUNNO FUCK IT! I REALLY GOTTA LAY OFF THE PINE SOL IN THE MORNING..ANYWAY OFF TO GO HUFFIN’!!

  • Moe Real

    Bol + Persia = 700+ lbs.

  • EReal

    LOL @ MoE!

    That bitch was large and in charge, you couldnt really tell except from the side view the extent of the lardassness. Bitch is wide on all her sides, forrealz.
    She needs that 10″ dill just to get past the 5″ of cameltoe she hasta get by before hittin the wet spot, LMFAO!

    I threw up in my mouth a little.

    1 hunned.

  • John Brown

    well if i do give a black num some money he will not go out and look for a job…while a white bum would think he is successful at bumming…thus far making a fool out of him and his race.

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    @ John Brown

    I got’chu now … I didn’t understand what you meant at first (I was like “wtf?”)

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    yes, Serch is from Far Rockaway, that’s why he likes Persia so much…

    unless he just digs fat white broads, like Bol!

  • CARDPULLAH

    GLAD THAT FAT DYKE IS GONE. TALKING BOUT PULLIN NIGGAS CARDS. SOON AS SHE GET A DEAL HER FACE WILL BE IN THE MUFF.

    NO LATIFAH. YOU SEE AN INDUSTRY DYKE. ROB THAT BITCH AND FUCK THEIR GIRL FRIENDS. LIKE I DID TO MY GIRL THIS MORNING.
    PS THEY ALL SUCK.

    PEACE TO GHOST WHERE EVER U ARE.

  • John Brown

    GHETTO REVIVAL!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/sadsmilez1 INDOE

    Me being a “white rapper” has to look at these people and say “what the fuck is this trash?” .I know for a fact i can spit something harder than any of em’ ! That bitch Persia -the size of Persia- was annoying any damn way so i am glad she’s gone . I can’t wait to see what they salvage out of these last three “white rappers” . If you really want to give someone thats pale face a recording contract at least put decent people with talent on the damn T.V. ! Anyways check me out right now with my Patna’ Killah Touch at :

    http://www.myspace.com/sadsmilez1

    INDOE
    1 HALF OF THE RUGGED ONES…….
    WHAT IT IS , WHAT IT WAS , AND WHAT IT’S GONNA BE…..

  • kbz

    B-more legend Says:

    February 13th, 2007 at 12:10 am
    fuck all you lil first hoes and these all those white dudes blow dogs for quarters, its like there finally realizing its all a joke

    B-more legend you are a fuckin dumbass who is ignorant as fuck and cant properly word a sentence worth a shit either. your either really fuckin stupid or 11 years old.
    “blow dogs for quaters”?????? wtf is wrong wit u homie?

  • P-Matik

    Yeah Serch is from Far Rock. He got his start sneaking into Red Fern projects getting his ass beat so that he could prove he was down.

    I thought Persia would win just because she was from there my damn self.

  • 6-100

    If you Google Serch you find out that

    1)Serch is from Far Rockaway

    2)Serch is Jewish(No Matisyahoo)

    3)Serch’s pops was a Stock Broker

    4)Serch went to Laguardia High School. I used to mess with this chick that graduated from there, and it’s a “performing arts” school that has performance test so you can get admitted.

    It’s known that most of the guys that go there are teh ghey.

    That being said, Serch might be teh ghey himself.

    Bol, you might wanna visit Persia’s myspace page, whe you get back from Jack in the Box. Persia’s got a diss track aimed at the British chick who got eliminated 1st. Talking about how Misfit gave Sullie head when the show was over. She got some pics that make her look like a good fuck on a drunken night on the town.

    But then again I could have been drunk on the computer computin’, boopity boopin’.

    But lets not forget, Serch might be teh ghey.

  • The Guy

    Reggaeton Bullshit??? What the fuck does that mean?? That shit is like hip-hop in the eighties you just like them fake ass people who said hip-hop would be a trend. Reggaeton is hip-hop but the latin version,the only reason you say bullshit is because you don’t understand it!See if you can trace back the essence of this latin style genre of the greatest form of music.Please don’t be like the haters and understand it Talk to the Guy Tego Calderon he’ll break it down!!

  • JohN Browns Lover shows up in final ep Show is GAY!

    In the final episode, John Brown clearly had a gay lover! The bald headed flamer showed up & he spoke a few words. Brown did not want to talk to him because his cover was blown. These are some fake Azz wanna’ be crap artists.This show was weak, in 10 yrs no1 soul will remember these fools. They all were lame rappers.

  • Impulse 187

    1- Reggeaton bullshit? Reggeaton is just the Latino version of Rap. F*CK YOU for that Bol.
    2- So what if a rapper is fat or ugly, that doesnt mean that they cant spit as good as the “Pretty Boys” of the game. Since when do looks indicate skills in ANYTHING? just in case some smartass replies, not even in Modeling. Biggie was fat himself, and STILL became a legend. you people here are so shallow. Grow Up.