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This one goes to 11

Committed hater that I am, I’ll contend that Lupe Jihadist’s Food and Liquor would’ve done Little Brother numbers even if it hadn’t been leaked twice. And I’m sure my fact-checking cuz Noz would agree. Of course the Jihadist himself doesn’t though, and he’s taking steps to assure the same thing doesn’t happen again.

His second album, called The Cool, is set to arrive in stores this summer – just in time to benefit from his seemingly inevitable India.Arie treatment at the Grammys this spring. It would be a damn shame if this album was also widely bootlegged and somehow managed to do even worse than the first one. Hence the Jihadist’s novel new strategy.

According to a story at VH1.com, Lupe plans to thwart Internets bootleggers by not recording his album until three weeks before it’s due in stores. You see, he plans to write all of the rhymes and gather all of the shitty, bombastic soul samples from his weed carriers beforehand; but he won’t actually commit anything to tape until the very last minute.

The jihadist sayeth:

We’ll probably record everything in, like, a week. So we’re just gonna get it all together, map it out, have it done to a T, and then go and record. Then fresh from the studio, fresh to mastering … so it eliminates a lot of time and error that was surrounding [my debut].”

Which would be a really good idea, and probably win the Jihadist some sort of award from the RIAA, if people hadn’t already thought of it motherfucking ages ago. Not since Nigel Tufnel planned to build an amp that went all the way up to 11 (not just 10), has a musician come up with an idea that was so obviously retarded.

NEWSFLASH: CDs don’t have to be leaked months before they’re released to be widely bootlegged. Most CDs these days are in fact not leaked until they’re sent to the manufacturer, a mere matter of days before they arrive in stores. Plus, it’s not like us d-bags on the Internets aren’t willing to wait if we have to.

We’re still not buying your shit.

So you see, waiting until three weeks before its due to record your album isn’t going to serve any purpose other than making it sound rushed and hence even more teh suckarse than it would be otherwise. Why not just take your time and try to come up with a better product?

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