Blowin’ Dro

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The other day, my esteemed colleague, Bol Crawford, mentioned that the Roots, a group whose Stans regularly meet online to work through their recurring persecution traumas and live out delusions of importance, managed to sell a wee-bit over 61,000 copies of their latest album, while Method Man, who went from being the breakout member of one of the most important and creative hip-hop groups of all time to a self-pitier par excellence, pushed pretty much the same amount of his latest instantly forgettable album.

Now, Cheese is very likely to blame me for poisoning your minds against him(a), but I can’t help but note that this was, in all likelihood, his last chance to make an impression on the buying public on any large scale as far as his rap career is concerned(b). And, if we’re going to be honest with ourselves here, Meth’s post-Tical press campaigns have basically been about apologizing/making excuses for and/or qualifying his prior release. The sad thing is that, despite his journey being a study in chronic underachievement, I feel that there’s a great artist waiting to make an undeniably classic inside of the Ticallion Stallion. Unfortunately, at this rate, if that creator comes out to play and makes that album, I doubt too many people will be willing to hear it.

Now, the real part of this story, which no one seems to be talking about as much as they should, is that Noz’s new favorite rapper came in at number 3 on those same charts, selling some 104,000 copies of his debut album, Best Thang Smokin’—which is enough to call for a bipartisan commission to look into irregularities at the cash register.

Seriously.

Granted, the Method Man and Roots albums were not promoted strongly. At all. Point in fact: At this year’s Labor Day parade in Brooklyn(c), every other lightpole seemed to be dressed in a posterboard for Ludacris’ R&B album and/or Nas’ The N(d)—which, as far as I know, doesn’t even have a release date as of yet(e). On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that there are people at Def Jam who didn’t realize that all systems were a go on 4:21…The Day After or Game Theory.

Back to Young Dro: Am I supposed to believe that more people were anticipating a debut Young Dro album than a new Roots or Method Man album? And how under Barney’s blue sky does Young Dro sell half of what Busta Rhymes and Rick Ross did in their first weeks? I mean, really. I don’t think anyone can argue that, leading up to their releases, Busta and Ross had more than twice profile and broadcast real estate of a pimp squad clique full of Dros.

It boggles the mind.

As for Best Thang Smokin’, I can’t seem to make it through more than four cuts before I have to listen to something else. He may be “a great technical rapper,” or whatever the stuff that Noz gets for cheap would lead him to think, but, hell, he’s no Young Buck(f). Dude rhymes like he has molasses in his throat, and not in a good way. He has the presence of that caked-on cooking oil and animal fat that accumulates on pots and until it forms a bullet-proof patina that lazy, Brillo-allergic, elbow grease-adverse people refer to as character. But it’s not character. It’s remnants of crap, most likely carconogenic, and you’d be better off cleaning it up or eating out. And the album’s beats can be considered good if you like your music ignorant and dull—as opposed to ignorant and polished a la Port of Miami(g).

Granted, the pestilential tomfoolery of “Rubberband Banks” has been around for some time and “Shoulder Lean” was getting great response from hip-hop focus groups as early as January, when I first heard it. See, my day job as a plagiarizing hack found me in Magic City with T.I.: Thirsts were being quenched and laps were being danced upon when the DJ, realizing that Tip was present, threw the song on. Tip, with the self-assuredness of a man who has risen to the status level where one can afford to have other men carry his weed(h), mentioned that the song was shaping up to be a big hit and that Dro, who may or may not have been present(i), was his artist. Seeing as I had a drink in my hand and a thong in my face, I gave him one of those bob-and-smiles you give in club when you really can’t hear what’s being said but don’t what to appear rude. Besides, I thought he said “Shoulder Lane” and I didn’t think a song about reckless driving could be that big a hit, what with parents’ groups and all.

Let that be a lesson to me.

P.S.—I’m pretty sure that we’ll now have to deal with eight bars of Dro on whatever barely post-pubesent crunk&B hoochie whose label can afford a Jazze Pha beat. Watch.

UPDATE: Look forward to more insightful journalism like this.
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(a) Only because he doesn’t realize that none of you guys listen to me anyway.

(b) The chances of him hooking up with Dan the Automator to pull a Gnarls Barkley are pretty slim, but he still has Hollywood.

(c) Where, by all accounts, Haiti ran the Parkway, as we should.

(d) Looks like they’re, thankfully, stashing the Hip-Hop Is Dead part wherever they toss Joe Budden’s phone messsages.

(e) Please note that both of these albums are coming out on the same label as the Roots and Method Man—though Meth may very likely be Koch’s next superstar.

(f) Then again, who is?

(g) This is, this is, this is…the sound of lowered standards triumphant.

(h) I am able to confidently say this only because, over the course of a day, I was able to observe one gentleman whose sole duty seemed to be to watch the Bag and dole out buds to members of the entourage, with the size of said disbursement being in ratio to their standing within the tribe.

(i) If you ever live to be my age, children, such details will begin to allude you, as well.

  • http://nahright.com eskay

    I can’t front, I kinda like Dro. I lost a bunch of credibility (heh) on my site after sheepishly admitting that I thought he spit a little something here and there. I assumed that mostly had to do with the Young in his name though.

    I think he is genuinley talented lyrically, but he lets alot of it waste away on nonsense subject matter (a whole albums worth).

    And in all fairness, most of the good songs on that album come afer #4.

    (But it’s still fuck Atlantic)

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Yeah, I don’t know what the fuck Noz is talking about either.

    Method Man’s coughing on M.E.T.H.O.D. Man > Anything Ricky Ross or Young Dro will ever do.

  • http://www.wildstylefm.nl Freddy Freeloader aka J to the A.A.P.

    “And in all fairness, most of the good songs on that album come afer #4.”

    So you have to sit trhrough four shit-sandwiches before anything good comes on and then the rest of the album ain’t even tight to the end. In all fairness, that ain’t much of a defence Eskay.

  • Nigeria

    ”Method Man’s coughing on M.E.T.H.O.D. Man > Anything Ricky Ross or Young Dro will ever do.”

    Funny shit, but still true.

  • nation

    >> Blowin’ Dro

    heyy yooo

  • dronkmunk

    glad you wrote this. after reading what noz wrote the other day i went and dl’d the best thang smokin and it was such balnd music, i thought xxl must be on some serious payola or soemthing, cause this dude sucks. So thanks for validating my thoughts once again

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Also, there should be a great big “No Homo” after the title of this entry.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?cat=29 noz

    long winded diatribes baffled by the fact “inferior” southern rappers sell twice as much as the roots. i guess we really do steal ideas from ok**pl***r.

    dronk – it’s not our job to validate your thoughts. but i apologize for having wasted your hard earned bandwidth.

  • Belize

    Damn Exo 421 is the best Mef CD since Tical and its really good.
    U like the madd hatter..Tell me why u mad son?
    Didnt expect that from u playa..

  • Belize

    But good looks on the pic..is that Fresh?

  • Omar

    After reading this blog, the title is not a good look for you, ex

  • n-i-2g-a

    the beeyatch above me has to have his thoughts “validated” by kris ex…..that’s funny

  • Enlightened

    GET OFF THE INTERNET SOMETIMES NIGGA!
    See this is the problem with the “internet community”. You think that what the “internet community” thinks is what the streets think. OF COURSE THE YOUNG DRO ALBUM WAS MORE ANTICIPATED THAN THE ROOTS AND METH! He has a single that’s been in heavy rotation for 6 months and a video that’s been in heavy rotation for 3 months and his CEO who is featured prominently on the CD is the hottest rapper out right now.
    Method Man didn’t shoot a video. The Roots are… well, The Roots. Leaking tracks to the internet via The Bangers section is not promotion – except to the “internet community.”
    NOBODY OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET HAD ANY IDEA METH WAS ABOUT TO DROP. PERIOD. (Maybe in New York? I don’t live there so I don’t know).
    Spend some time in the real world for a few hours a day. You’ll see that the opinions differ greatly from that of the “internet community” – a lot of times they are the exact opposite.

  • Belize

    “Method Man didn’t shoot a video. The Roots are… well, The Roots. ”

    ^haaa…hilariously real

  • Belize

    Wonder who will have a longer career?
    a. Chingy
    b. Young Dro
    c. Jibbs
    d. T-Pain
    e. none of the above

  • faux_rillz

    Personally, I was suprised that the Roots managed to break 50K and downright shocked that the Method Man album did the numbers it did… I guess the strategy of using the cover art on the latter album to fool people into thinking that they were buying a Limp Bizkit record was effective.

  • e

    Wonder who will have a longer career?
    a. Chingy
    b. Young Dro
    c. Jibbs
    d. T-Pain
    e. none of the above

    ^^^^
    T-Pain he will be like Akon or Nate Dogg he will always make a cameo singing on a rappers hook (no homo).

  • DJ Lucky Luke

    Yo, just so you all know–the new Meth CD is the shit–cop it, it’s worth it–on par or even better–actually, yeah, better than No Said Date–you’ll know what I mean.

  • gees dat dude

    why is method man still considered relevant this mafucka aint had a hit since 95. So fuck method the nigga wack and just dont make good music. And the roots dont even give a fuck about what I thik so fuck them also.

  • Mr.Me

    lol. Niggas hatin on Dro without even listenin to his whole album (4 songs outta 15??). Kris Ex pussy ass (n/h) aint even built for music like this so I dont expect him to understand.

    Meths aight an deserves more recognition (sales) but them Roots niggas will never see another gold plaque until christ returns. Im just happy that Dro’s 1st week album sales overshadowed the Roots…now they can just drop another album in 2 years then fade away into oblivion an only live on in the hearts an souls of nerdy dudes.

  • Mr.Me

    Kris Ex gay ass skimms through 4 songs..
    1.Fresh
    2.Shoulder Lean
    3.High 5
    4.Fresh..again cuz he thinks its a different song.
    Posts his blog..Dro’s album is “unbearable”. lol your a softcore ass nigga (n/h). What tracks did you listen to gay boy?

  • David

    haha totally disagree with Kris, but good post nonetheless.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    ^I’m pretty sure that we’ll now have to deal with eight bars of Dro on whatever barely post-pubesent crunk&B hoochie whose label can afford a Jazze Pha beat. Watch.^

    Man, ain’t that the truth. And he definitely isn’t Young Buck.

    But thankfully he isn’t as corny as Rick Ross.

    I think Dro will end up appearing on Daddy Mack’s comeback single. Dro’s wikipedia entry said that he used to be down with the former Kris Kross star. (WiggetywiggetywiggetyWACK!!)

  • dutchtwista

    elude yo, not allude…

  • Belize

    Yo thats fuked up that Rolling stone tried to look at his shitbag as funny.

    That shit aint funny.

    Niggaz gettin shot aint funny.

    Shit is funny but not that shit, smell me?

  • iame247

    Straight Up I havent heard The Roots yet but Ive heard Meth(bought it the day it came out, it has not left my cd player since). Thats a dope album period. His single THEY SAY that shit is so true about hip hop right now. Anybody who considers themselves either a current or former Wu Tang fan needs this album in they rotation.
    I agree with LL when he said Jay-Z does a good job promoting himself. He just took off today on a world tour(imagine how much it cost to promote that)thats where Meth’s and The Roots and whoever drops on Defjam the rest of this year’s promotion went.

  • BORNSIGNIFICANT

    CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT “I DONT KNOW HOW 2 DAN DO” MEANS?

  • BrianRaiderEcorse313

    Damn Kris must be from New York. Damn Take it like a man like Maino Say. Damn Dog. Yall niggas sensitive like a bitch. Dro is smashin shit. Check the Gangsta Grillz Day One, and Best Thang Smokin. Tip wouldnt put his name on no off brand shit! Dro is lyrical! I mean damn are U mad Dro studied that New York multi sylable flo put his twist on it and beat U at yall own game. Face it the south got it right now. Yall will be back when JAY and NAS come back. Face It. I predict that shit JAY is gonna spearhead a NY comeback not seen in years. But Dro is serious. I fucks wit Dro so quit bitchin Bitch. hahahah.

  • pop a poppa

    in the state that hip-hop is in, the listeners are more interested in hearing a fresh voice rather than pick up an album from someone who has released 3 earlier albums. say what you want but hip-hop music is the most disposable of all of the major forms of music that sells. you put out a single and then most evre1 forgets you existed. not to mention that hip-hop culture is all about being “first” or havin’ something “exclusive” (what up Nike). so most heads would rather hitch their boat to the new blood instead of rollin’ wit a sinking ship.

    i’ve heard Young Dro’s album and its got 3 songs that are worth listening to but thats it. Kris i still don’t know why you can’t understand why Dro’s album sold what it did.

    radio & music video rotation = sales

    plus i still don’t know why the record label attached the word Young to his name (it used to be just Dro). i like the long posts Kris. a lot better than the pic/song shit you do sometimes. good writing.

    REY Says:

    Also, there should be a great big “No Homo” after the title of this entry.

    LOL funny shit. what a wasted opportunity. and i’m lovin’ the pic under the title. maybe she could “Blow Dro”?

    BELIZE Says:

    Wonder who will have a longer career?
    a. Chingy
    b. Young Dro
    c. Jibbs
    d. T-Pain
    e. none of the above

    sadly i think it will be Chingy… and i have people like my little neice to thank 4 dat.

  • rome

    I don’t think dro’s problem is lyrical ability. His problem is subject matter. Dro often paints vivid lyrical pictures of nothing, and on the tracks where he tries to switch the subject (We lied, hear me cry) it sounds forced and shitty. I still bump “rubberband banks” religiously.

    p.s
    the title of this post is Richard Simmons gay.

  • Young H

    you’re right as can be about the Clipse, but wrong about Dro. He’s the truth (no i didnt throw the young in my moniker after him)

  • concerned hater

    method man sucks

  • Franco

    The reason Young Dro can sell 100,000+ the first week is because people in the south support people coming out of the south. That’s the reason. I love New York hip hop, but new yorkers don’t support their own stuff. Sure, you may bump the album, but southern people go out to the store with 12 dollars and BUY the album. That’s why southern hip hop is dominating.

  • fresh $

    why you hatin on dro man it make me sick yall aint nothin but some new york dick ridin cufi heads if yall didnt hate so much on each other yall to can get paid this shit hot in da street get off da got damn computer and see what type of music really bring da hoes out stl fasho bitches

  • http://X_X IronMan

    Miami and ATL vs NY

    Cali is chillen cus they know they can take on both sides.

    Look back at alot of Cali rappers albmus they are all good.NY and South have ups and downs Cali has always ups but them idiots stay in jail.

  • popeye

    young dro

    yea but im got damn growed up