Effed in the a

I notice many of the young people who frequent the comments sections both here and at my own site are considering some sort of career in hip-hop. Not to fuck with anyone’s plans, but this doesn’t strike me as a very good idea at all.

Say what you will about Damon Dash, but at least he used to know Jay-Z. As such, he was able to sell his share in Roc-A-Fella Records for $30 million (or was it $3 million), and that makes him talented, god damnit.

Or more talented than I am, anyway.

But what about the legions of d-bags that don’t know Jay-Z? If you notice, there hardly exists these days a black man under the age of 30 who doesn’t claim to be either a) a rapper, or b) the CEO of some sort of entertainment company. This is a problem.

For every one of these no-talents who somehow lucks out and becomes the next Yung Joc (don’t play dumb), there must be some insane number that only end up in prison somewhere dreading the next visit from the infamous tossed salad man[1]. Nullus.

I don’t have the numbers to back this up, but I’d be willing to bet that the number of jigs who get raped in prison each year compares favorably to the number of jigs who actually make a decent living off of hip-hop. Unless you’re some kind of closet-case, why take that kind of risk?

And yet the statistics show that year in and year out, more than half of all jigs in the inner city are opting to stand on the corner somewhere dressed like a prison bitch rather than graduate from high school – basically guaranteeing themselves a trip to jail at some point or another.

You’d have to think that hip-hop plays a part in this.

[1] Of course, even some of the ones who do make it as rappers end up in jail eating another man’s ass for five years at a time, but that’s a topic for another discussion.

  • R U Serious

    HI LAR IOUS

  • Lefty 2Gunz

    That’s real talk right there Bol.

    EVERYBODY is some sort of Hip Hop this or that these days.
    Rapper, producer, Ceo, etc….. the list goes on and on.

    It’s like a cliche’ for young minorities now days. Young black, hispanic whatever,… you from the hood you rap or some sh!t like that.

    Even old cats is doing it now! I had a cat the other day try to put me up on his “new hot sh!t” and dude had to at least be pushing up on 35!

    Hell, I don’t even see cats out on the court or playing ball in the streets no more.
    They all walking around with 50inch chains they got from the corner store callin themselves rappers.

  • Ogeezy

    You right about this. Every hood I go to everyone is a rapper and they have a record label. Making it in the music game is like trying to hit a black target in the dark while wearing a blindfold. Do the math people.

  • I Fux

    BOL you are right did you happen to watch “The Ultimate Huslter” Dame’s show- none of those contestants actually were doing anything remotely close to a job, all were trying to get ther CEO-owing on, dumbass nigs and crackas get an education or maybe just maybe a JOB that might pay your child support unlike your aspirations which will only get you shot or ass raped ha haha

  • The ON1E

    Bol thats the smartest thing you ever wrote……but your still an ass

  • http://www.jamieradford.com J.

    Word word. Remember that one scene in Farenheit 911 when that military recruiter was talking to those guys in the parking lot at Wal-Mart in some backwards Michigan town? That one guy’s plans for the future was “to have a little music career.” That struck me as so sad. When I taught this one summer school class for poor kids once, seriously EVERY ONE of the kids in there thought they were gonna be a famous rapper. People don’t understand A)The work you have to put in to succeed in something like that, and B)the sheer improbability of ever meeting any success. Eh.

  • d rock

    dam bol, this is actually some real talk right here.

    I guess you scared all the wanna be rappers away you only got like 6 posts.

    But yea man, if i meet one more dude running a record company out the momma basement I am going to kill myself

  • I Am A Hater

    >>there must be some insane number that only end up in prison somewhere dreading the next visit from the infamous tossed salad man[1]. Nullus.

    Lmao!! Yo, but you spit some real talk in this today.

  • No Big Tigger

    Bol, you’re killing ‘em. I’ve been a fan of your writing for a while, and it’s been great seeing you come to XXL, elevate your game and refuse to compromise in any way. Sky’s the limit man, keep blasting ‘em.

  • eauhellzgnaw

    I blame all of this on the “hater” phenomenon that exploded in the Puff/Master P era: when garbage ass rappers could rise to riches and shield themselves from criticism by accusing anyone who pointed out their shittiness of being a “hater.”

    But think about it: why wouldn’t these losers aspire to be famous rappers? it’s not like you have to have any talent nowadays.

    I will still never get these heads’ willingness to get locked up. The most exggerated tough guys will more than likely grease some dude while behind bars.

  • Katari

    I don’t see the problem with wanting to be in the music industry. I mean is either that or go to college (waste four years of your live, become addicted to porn, alcohol, weed) graduate with some bullshit degree( any degree except Nursing, enginerring, or go to law school or medical school) and still be broke. I mean Byron Crawford is living proof that college doesn’t pay off. Then again you could just settle on becoming a teacher.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    ^Obviously from someone wasting their life without a degree.

  • Franky

    haha @ Katari

    Why is this called Saturday Night Workout if you post every other day?

  • MarcusGarvey

    Financially handling urs is a part of gettin this mental slavery out of our peoples head. i mean people should be realistic though, but nothin wrong with brothas tryin to start there own businesses, i mean look what that mentality did for the Jews. Stop the hatoration. Just be realistics with your goals

  • alleyeCNtower

    what I wonder is: how many of these “rappers” ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING INTELLIGENT TO SAY? How many are rhyming about something worth listening to?

    Barely any. Sadly.

    Brothers better work it out.

  • Nelson Abbey

    I agree with you on this one. You cant blame the kids for dreaming but hip-hop has become the Pied Piper to alot of these kids; leading them into a dark place… and then raping them. A crying shame really.

    I’m from the UK and i can honestly say i know more people that make music with no potential than i do people in quality employment or starting non-entertainment based businesses. Honestly where does it stop?

    I cant save all of you!

  • Lo-D

    hate on joc all you want but hes pretty creative and a damn good hook writer don’t believe me listen to new joc city…and for those of yall that think you know what joc is all about listen to “picture perfect” its all there….real artictle tho bol alot of folks don’t like you but you are a true writer man you stick to your guns and dont change for anybody…gotta respect that

  • Nelson Abbey

    LO-D

    How old are you? Young Joc or whatever he calls himself is terrible. America birthed hip-hop and America is killing it. Real Hip-hop has exiled to Europe. No bullshit.

  • mr agee

    honestly i worked for lids a hat store for 4 years. i have been wanting to rap since i was 20. in the begining i wrote. 9 years later i dont write shit. i have gotten better and found my lane. my point is i have not dropped everything for this rap game. i became a manager in december and i still come up with concepts here and there but those ideas cannot pay child support. so until i get a deal ill stick to working for lids.

  • MosBang

    U got a point, but u could of got it across without all the prison gay talk. I am still having trouble putting that together.

  • lone1

    Damn…being an aspiring emcee…this was a sudden blow.

  • DJ Lucky Luke

    It’s because black kids don’t have any positive role models–some rappers claim not to be role models, but they know the effect they have on the masses–kids just wanna be grownups and the flyest grownups right now are rappers. Me, I am my own favorite rapper so that eliminates me from the stereotype. On a side note–I was blunted at a party once and this white kid on mushrooms wanted me to freestyle so he starts beatboxin’ and… …we almost got into a fight. He thought I was dissing his beat and, well, I was… Every dude and his brother think they know what it means to be hip-hop these days–the only way these fucks will get put on is through a little luck because talent they don’t have…

  • Combat Jack

    lol

  • darby darbouze

    So no one should pursue a career in hip hop is what your saying you half a brain nitwit.
    You have a career in hip hop I might add.
    But as a black man my self I’m glad your journalism career is going well. you get to speak your mind freely.
    who are you to deter someone from pursuing there dreams.
    Do you have even 50,000 dollars most likely not so why look up to your bum status ass .
    When damon dash has 3 mill from knowning jay-z as you say.
    I’m not knockin your ultimate hustle you uncle tom bafoon.

    DEPTH CONSULTING FIRM
    DFC – DEPTH@TMAIL.COM
    NEED ANY HELP JUST HIT THE E-MAIL
    ILL ANSWER ANY HIP HOP OR LIFE RELATED QUESTIONS.

    YOUR HUSTLE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YA MUSCLE. SO BOL HIT THE WEIGHTROOM

  • mike G

    I totally agree with one of your post for once…

  • Katari

    True, I dont have a college degree, but i work for the IBEW and make 19/hr and im only 21. ( Plus i manage a few of my thugged out friends rap career). But the point is i have a real job with no college degree.

  • Katari

    And why can every white person own a contracting business(for those who dont know this but most contractors are dumb ass rednecks who can fix shit and end up signing a contract with some rich business to fix their shit for a outrageous sum of money) and no one talks about them, but a black men with a music based business gets talked about.

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    I agree & I disagree.

    Everytime some down south asshole, or some NY asshole, or some Houston asshole comes out with a completely insipid yet inexplicably popular song, legions of similarly talented (nullus) “rappers” get inspired, thus perpetuating the cycle Boll Weevil has described.

    I’m pretty sure Rap is in the middle of some Top Secret contest to see who comes out with the worst song ever, so God only knows what awaits us. (altho’ in my opinion, 2005 had the two worst songs of all time–Hollaback Girl and My Humbs–nullus to the 45th power)

    Just think: The people making the shitty music NOW are the ones who grew up on HovPacNasBIG’FaceSnoopDre’Kast.. Can you imagine what kind of even shittier shit that’s going to come from the ChingyDFBPaulwallCamWayneTI generation?

    I shudder to think..

    –Rey–

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    ^Because black dudes running record labels out of their mother’s basements are accomplishing shit.

    Look at the unemployment and emprisonment rates.

    And remember, emprisonment = butt sex.

  • http://HIPHOPBLOGSPOT.COM NYCE

    You should write sensibly like this more often!! Its a good look

  • 1st down

    You consistently speak truths about hip hop that need to be said but aren’t being said by others. Plus you keep it funny as hell. Keep doing what you’re doing bol.

  • Sparky

    Clearly there are exceptions, but generally people with college degrees make more money. And the point is to maximize your chances of success, right?

    There’s nothing wrong with pursuing a career in music, but one should be aware that the chances of success are small, and shouldn’t put all eggs in that one basket.

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    So…

    What you’re saying is that young minorities are purposely starting rap careers that are destined to fail so that they can go back to selling drugs and stealing shit out of some kind of subconscious desire to get F.A.F.ed? [1]

    I swear there’s a Cam’Ron joke in here somewhere…

    No Homo on everything after “So…”

    [1]-F.A.F. = Fucking Ass Fucked

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    ^^ “I’m pretty sure Rap is in the middle of some Top Secret contest to see who comes out with the worst song ever”

    Hilarious.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    I’d say Mike Jones will win that Top Secret Contest by a landslide with that “Back Then” song…

    In a separate Top Secret Contest for Secret Love Affair of two Garbage Rappers, the winners are Young Jeezy and Juelz Santana.

    They will later go on to make a ghey love album together, which will sell 10-12 million and will cause most of their stans to committ acts of love on eachother normally only practiced within the walls of confinement.

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    U A FAGGIT ASS NIGGA BOL

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    Heh, I can see the Jeezy-Juelz nuptials, “SoldCrack Mountain”, now:

    Do you, Jeezy? “Eyyyyyyyy, that’s riiiiiight”

    Do you, Juelz? “Ey!”

    Altho’ as soon as the priest asked if there was anyone who objected, Cam would stand up and confess his love ala a kind of Hip-Hop “The Graduate”

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    As a matter of fact, I think old Bol should do a “Worst Rap Song Ever” blog…

    I’m pretty sure that 50 Cent, Chingy, Lil’ Jon, The Black Eyed Peas, Juvenile, & the Dip Set would all be featured prominently.

    Snoop would win the Inaugural “What the fuck, didn’t you used to be good?” award for “Drop It Like It’s Hot”

    Pharrel & Lupe Fiasco are another rap couple that should just come out again. (does “nullus” still need to be said if you actually are talking about some gay shit?)

  • kay from birmingham

    Bol,

    You are one of the only reasons I use the internet…

    I really wonder what a lot of rappers are going to do when rap/hip-hop is no longer profitable…

    I see a lot more “Cool C’s” and “Steady B’s” in the future.

    (kids…do your homework.)

  • Yung World

    Now I’m gonna hip yall to game listen to every rap lyric and intepert it your own way I listened to Jeezy’s thug motivation and Hov’s records and look where they are so my objective was to get where they’re at now which is corporate and if you think about it the grass greener in the office and a real hustler can talk to people they have nothing in common with and get them to see thing your way you can’t blame a rapper for a person who is not an individual and the only goal they have is to make it the same way someone else did these dudes are followers. Most of these rappers are leaders and have leadership qualities and alot of the dudes that get arrested were trying to live someone else’s life god has different plans for everyone so make a move for yourself and not because you seen someone else do

    Yung World

    Yall need to just give me a blog so I can kick some real shit on here

  • http://www.byroncrawford.com Rey

    ^^^Damm… Well said, Yung World. I agree.

  • Kornphlake

    You must have brainstormed a little after the dame post. These might be the most truthfull words I have ever read by you. I hope he next post is on par with this one.

  • Vaguely Discontent

    “Rey Says:

    June 8th, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    Snoop would win the Inaugural “What the fuck, didn’t you used to be good?” award for “Drop It Like It’s Hot””

    I dunno, Black Eyed Peas would put up a pretty good fight for that one…

  • http://www.trendsettazinc.com DJ Main Event

    he’s (Bol) right. and everyone thinks they have next… its insane. but watch, most of these dudes wont be around in 5-10 MONTHS, let alone years. time to face facts, this rap shit is becoming a little too easy to get into.

    http://www.myspace.com/djmainevent

  • Blaq Thought

    At what age do you stop rapping?

    If there is an age limit on doing rap, should there be an age limit on buying rap?

    Should cartoon artist stop drawing at a certain age?

    Should the Rolling Stone climb into a grave (maybe)?

    Should Mary J. Blige stop singing and looking sexy ass hell because she is older that Rihanna (who I must say does look hotter but sings worse – if that’s possible)?

    Let me know something people!!!
    Good article Bol, keep treating these d-bags like Summer’s Eve!

  • Katari

    Im sick of these people with college degrees saying it “opens up doors”. I mean maybe if you want to be a doctor or lawyer( i know lawyers that make less than i make). Lets face it the only people who get college degrees are the type of people that probably can’t change a tire on their car(not good with tools).
    When i started my career my friend laughed at me and said when a graduated im going to be making more than you ( he majored in business). My first year working i was making 10/hr and made like 26,000 that year. True thats not a lot but i was only 18, and i live in the south so its a liveable wage. Now three years later the lowest i can make is 18/hr(REMEMBER PEOPLE WORK UNION) and in two more years the lowest i can make is 24/hr(PLUS I’LL HAVE A CONTRACTORS LICENSE.) Meanwhile my friend graduated from some HBCU, and wouldn’t have a job if his dad didn’t get him one.
    IRONICALLY he wants to start a entertainment company, but he has a degree so i wonder if the above posts apply to him.

  • Katari

    ANYWAY, any high school senior who wants a good paying career and really doesn’t want to go to college. Apply for your local IBEW union. They have a 5 yr apprenticeship to be an electrician, and they are in every state.

  • Nick Chainy

    maaaaan, im so glad that you’ve said this…thank you thank you thank you.

  • H-Man

    suck a dick and die slow

  • http://justmytwocents tha whyte man

    the last days of rap are upon us.

    i’d lke to thank all you dumb ass young this n thats for shunning higher education. you will never be a ceo, an executive, or run anything besides the shit in your draws. success begets and spawns more success. failure can breed success, but as far as young negroes goes failure means its time to commit suicide.

    just give it up, you all will die without realizing any of your dreams. why do you guys bother? start suicide bombing yourselves, really, whats the difference?

    sigh. shut down morehouse, and howard is on strings. i see what whites are scared of, its black poision reaching thier households

  • Che

    Bol is one of the most profoundly stupid men I have ever come across.

    However, it does seem as though he has finally perceived what many of us saw a long time ago in regards to the innumerable number of wannabe rappers.

    However Bol’s attention to detail when it comes to forced male anal sex is worrying to say the least.

  • pace

    blog powers activate!

  • http://UG-RS.com Tyler

    It’s 1 thing 2 drop knowledge on a subject that’s all good 2 tha’ hood but it’s a whole nutta’ thing to try and piss on a person dreams yo. What if someone would have come at U like ‘dat about being a journalist? Where would you be? What if King and Mr. X had listen 2 the haters yo? And really negro U need 2 kill all that jig shit dawg. U sounded like a whiteboy straight the fuck up from 1 brotha 2 another. Peep the heat at:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug
    Fuck this nigga Black Man & go for yours, win, lose, or draw.

  • booptiboop!

    hey hey! how about you all shut the fuck up :|

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz thebestout!!

    if you think about it you gon get raped either way it jus’ depends how fast you wanna get it.
    you can go the turk route and end up mud snorkeling for 10-20 yrs by trying to be gangsta or you can turd tussle like young joc and get with some big gay guy whose gon’ to reap the benefits of your album more than you then physically bend you over and tickle your taint! so it’s all about how you want it.

    night-night! keep ya’ butt-hole tight

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz thebestout!!

    thebestout!! Says:

    September 21st, 2006 at 8:46 am
    NET NEUTRALITY: FUCK THE GOVERMENT!!

    DO YA’ HOME WORK KIDDIES SOONER OR LATER YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO BLOG ON THIS SHIT NO MORE CUZ’ YO’ SO CALLED GOVERMENT IS TRYING TO MAKE THIS SITE AND OTHER INFORMATIVE MEDIA OUTLETS INACCESIBLE UNLESS THESE COMPANIES PAY OUT THE ASS FOR IT!!IT’S ALL ABOUT INFLUENCE AND UNLESS XXL GOT FOX OR VERIZON TYPE OF $$$$ WE WON’T BE ABLE TO GET THIS SHIT ON THE NET NO MORE, FA’ REAL MUTHA’FUCKAS DO YA’ RESEARCH OR HOME WORK! THIS SHOULD BE A CALLED TO ARMS FOR ALL INTERNET MONEY MAKERS;THOSE OF YOU WITH WEBSITES IN WHICH YOU SELL MEDIA OR INFROMATION,BLOGGERS,UNSIGNED RAPPERS WHO USE THE NET AS A FORM OF EXPOSURE AND SO FORTH.DON’T SET BACK AND LET OUR 1ST AMMENDMENT RIGHTS GET SHITTED ON!EACH ONE TEACH ONE ONCE YOU HAVE INFORMED YOURSELF ON WHAT IS GOIN’ DOWN TELL THE NEXT MAN AND THE NEXT MAN WE GOTTA FIGHT FOR THIS SHIT!

  • http://misterrickyblackplanet.com BossGame_305

    But if music has always been their dream not the flash and BS but sheer love of the craft. What do you say to those. Because believe me they still exist.

  • http://myspace.com/cultureriddims CULTURE

    i feel u Bol.. and i like ur shit i really do. as a man of style i appreciate how your pen flows.

    but u ain’t said shit about niggas who make beats!

    myspace.com/cultureriddims

    i put my aspirations in a drum machine, not the bum machine.

    see for urself…

  • Anonymous

    he knows alot about the jail house “salad tossin”…lol

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