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The Not So Big Bang

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As the Internets least favorite crackety-crack Tom Breihan pointed out the other day, Dr. Dre and Jimmy “Double Fantasy” Iovine are sinking a veritable shiteload of money into this new Busta Rhymes album, The Big Bang. Not that it matters to those two, but I wonder if they might consider cutting their losses.

Already, there are three pretty fancy-schmancy videos out for it, including the ones for “Touch It,” the “Touch It” remix (which is the one where the guy got shot), and this new one where Busta (who’s grown rather long in the tooth, I notice) and Gabrielle Union (who’s overrated) play Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in that Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie.

Personally, I could care less about Bussa Bus even back when he was popular. Future Without a Past and The Coming were really good albums, but everything after that was one grisly, botched abortion after another. And that’s really when he got so popular anyway – the days of “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See” and “Dangerous.”

Since then though, the dude’s been on a pretty steady decline. It’s not like he up and retired a day after winning the ASCAP Songwriter of the Year award, in 1997, Gin Blossoms-style[1]. Since then he put out one shit sandwich after another all the way up until 2002, when it appears he was finally told to take his things and exit the J Records building.

That said, if anyone can take an artist without so much as a spark and still go 4x platinum, it’s Dr. Dre. In fact, that’s exactly what he did with The Game’s first album, The Documentary. Not that The Game is completely untalented, but that album’s so well-produced, even Tony Yayo could’ve taken it to 4 million. Thoughts of a Predicate Felon went platinum, right? I rest on your face.

Still, The Game was a new rapper with an interesting back story. Those of us in the under-30 set have had Busta Rhymes around for pretty much our entire lives now. We already know what he’s capable of and what he’s not capable of. This album had better be damn good if he expects it to sell any more than, say, Genesis.

[1] That’s what I call going out on top. Nullus.

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