The gulliest man in hip-hop

One day last year, Cassidy and his weed carrier Desmond Hawkins traveled from Philadelphia to New York to polish some of Swizz Beatz’ jewelry, per the terms of Cassidy’s contract with Swizz Beatz’ Full Surface imprint. While Cassidy was up in the studio doing what he does best, Weed Carrier Hawkins opted to stay in the van and roll a few fatties for the ride home. He was dedicated like that.

Unfortunately, New York’s Hip-Hop Police, who stay on top of these things, happened to be trailing the two and busted WC Hawkins with The Bag and a gun Cass had left in the car. Like a good weed carrier should, by definition, WC Hawkins claimed both The Bag and the gun were his – presumably, under the impression that Cassidy would come to bail him out and make it a point to find a woman for him to have sex with after the next show.

Which might actually be a good deal, depending on the quality of said tang.

Sadly, this wasn’t to be the case. Possibly because he never received many royalties from either of his wack-ass albums (R. Kelly and Swizz Beatz probably split that), or maybe because he just didn’t give a shit, Young Cassidy never bothered to bail WC Hawkins out of jail. So rather than getting his Charlie Hodge on with some likely-underaged white chick in a van somewhere, WC Hawkins ended up getting ethered in the rear by some cholo** in lock-up. You can imagine his disappointment.

So once WC Hawkins was finally released, and once his posterior healed to the point that he could walk more or less normally, he traveled to Philadelphia to confront his former Bag Proprietor. Surely, if Cassidy realized what he had put his own weed carrier through, he’d be compelled to treat the poor bastard to a “full-service” hot tub dance at one of the area’s seedier establishments. It was the least he could do for a man who made the ultimate sacrifice a bag handler can make just short of death.

Instead, Cassidy ethered the poor bastard at point blank range, with an AK-47. Or so I’ve been told. Swizz Beatz, who’s got money like that, had his lawyer argue Cassidy’s case down to loitering or some such, and he only ended up doing like 9 months in jail. Now he’s back on the street and has got a video out talking about how he carries himself in a manner that no one tried to test him in the joint.

Those cholos might be crazy, but they aren’t that crazy.

* The TIs at XXL are very adamant that I not write anything that might get them in legal hot water, so I should note that there’s a very distinct possibility that not everything in this post happened exactly the way I describe it.

** I picked up this term from last night’s rerun of HBO’s excellent “Entourage.” I’m assuming it means “hispanic person,” or possibly “hipanic guy in jail.”

  • http://www.myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    Dawg U are LAME!!!!!!!!!!!haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lame!!!!!!!!!!HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
    THATS Y BUN B CHECK UR LAMEEEEEEEEEE ASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAAAA…..LIKE HOV SAID ” UR A LAMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! U THAT FAKE REPORTER FAG A FROM XXL MAG!!!!!!!UR A LAME!!!!!!!!!

  • poopdood

    i wouldn’t be using the word “cholo” if i didn’t know what it means…

  • http://www.myspace.com/writeonpointmagazine janice

    How is this post lame??? if anything it’s probably nearer to the truth then any of us would like to admit…

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >i wouldn’t be using the word “cholo” if i didn’t know what it means…

    Jeremy Piven used it, and he got an Emmy.

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    should I be watching Entourage? I keep my HBO for The Sopranos and the ability to watch talentless jigs punch each other in the nuts. I like Jeremy Piven though, that cat’s hilarious.

  • mike G.

    You cold Bol. Ice cold, man.

  • arturo

    another day in the life of “ethered by bun b” bol

  • nnamdi okwu

    wow a nicca dat make sense keep telling da truth homie,all dis homo fans will buy into anyting,knowledge is krytonite in da hood.least common denominator is celebrated.keep telling it like it is homes

  • d rock

    on the real hommie you really shouldnt be making funny of this situtaion like that man, a cat lost his life man, do you think his family would find this post funny. i could see if he was ok but my man is not hear no more, its cool to be funny, and not give a fuck but dam son have some respect for the dead !!!

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    Great commentary on Cassidy’s weed carrier.

    Talk about cold? I think it’s Cassidy who is cold, killing someone who made a gigantic sacrifice for him.

    But did Cassidy think he’d never be confronted by dude once he got out?

    I guess there’s plenty of truth to Cassidy’s wack single “Im a Hustler”

  • Doc Flav

    I Believe WC Had A Crew With Guns, That Came To Cassidy’s Crib. It Was A Bad Situation, Either One Could Have Died If Not Both, Dont Be Ignorant To Say Dude Was Riffin And Cass Just Shot Him, It Didnt Happen That Way. Thats Why These Blogs Are Flawed. Tell The Real Story And Stop Slinging Dirt Wreckless.

  • Doc Flav

    Point Blank Range And Didnt Get Hit At All? You Really Dont Know What You Talking About.

  • gerv

    You write some of this shit like you was there to see what happened.Did you see dude get raped or the shoot out. I don’t think so yo ass is like a high school girl gossiping about what you heard and acting like it’s the God to honest truth.To think they really give you a paycheck for this bullshit you write.

  • dame

    You don’t know what Cholo means?

    Didn’t Young Speedy lace you up on that Shit?

  • king almighty

    really bol hispanic guy in jail…whats that some more racist shit from your dumb ass,cholo man they up north dominicans,puerto ricans dont call them selfs cholos thats those crazy mexicans fam,dam your dumb….lol

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    @Gerv, did you not see the asterisks at the end of the post?

    [quote]* The TIs at XXL are very adamant that I not write anything that might get them in legal hot water, so I should note that there’s a very distinct possibility that not everything in this post happened exactly the way I describe it.[/quote]

    come on man!

  • king fuckery

    FUCK BOL. FUCK XLL. I’M NEVER BUYING THAT SHIT AGAIN.

  • rawr

    Bol Says:
    April 17th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
    >i wouldn’t be using the word “cholo” if i didn’t know what it means…

    Jeremy Piven used it, and he got an Emmy.”

    Jeremy Piven is also arguably funnier than you are. Zing!

  • Belize

    ur still lame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • chico34

    bol is lame ass they come…shut da fuck up janice,nnamdi,mikey ess

  • kyle

    bol u the shit.. continue doing what u do.. everything u write is a nice read

  • http://www.myspace.com/darbdarb_m_0_e DEPTH

    Bol
    let us know hwen your jeremy piven u fuckin dirtball

  • http://www.myspace.com/darbdarb_m_0_e DEPTH

    when8

  • DROSS

    I think you have a distinct dislike for hispanis peoples after reading a few of your blogs. Your a funny cat but full of hatred. Express the humor not the hate so much vato ya heard?

  • DROSS

    I think you have a distinct dislike for hispanic peoples after reading a few of your blogs. Your a funny cat but full of hatred. Express the humor not the hate so much vato ya heard?

  • Holler

    Interesting

  • H-man

    Dats why I call it hard time. Some fellas gotta learn to take one for da team. Its true I got mad bitches on my doc.

  • Gutta

    i dont believe that shit one bit…or maybe cassidy is really that dumb to thinko that cops would not be able to trace who supplied the guns and who would have a motive for killing the kid,lets be serious,he probably knew the dudes and thats it,when your a rapper its all about image and he got all of yall fooled

  • Gutta

    allegedly* right bol?

  • What U lack!

    Its cool you got a college degree and all … and then your job is to criticize and insult niggas tryin to make a livin…. maybe you could take some of that “silver spoons” wit and use it for us and not against us…. or go write where people will argue with fact not opinions… shit but than you cant think you better than niggas cause they gon’ treat you like one…. damn we cant win

  • t money

    The fuck wrong wit Cass man killin his weed man after he caught a charge 4 him. 2 of them.U would be mad 2 if u took care of somebody that u thought was your man, and he practically spit in your face???!!!!

    Thats why I never liked buddy anyway son. Off wit your gucci when i see u sucka

  • AirlineGeneral

    #1 whoever believes this lying ass shit is dumb and #2 Cassidy isn’t that crazy to grab an AK-47 and kill his own man lol what the fuck?? that doesn’t even sound this bol dude is a fuckin lame writer on this one…..ps cassidy last album was better than the first one dumbass

  • http://mindstatela HELTAH SIN SAY

    FIRST OF ALL BYRON THE CHOLOS YOUR TALKING ABOUT OR THINK OF ARE NOT ON THE EAST OR IN THE SOUTH, THEY ARE ON THE WEST COST IN SOUTHER CALIFORNIA AND THEY AINT WET BACKS EITHER, DONT GET IT TWISTED, IM NOT MEXICAN AMERICAN IM BLACK, AND WHAT IM TRYING TO GET AT IS YOU SAY “THEY CRAZY BUT THEY AINT THAT CRAZY” NIGGA THEM NIGGAS IS CRAZY I KNOW FIRST HAND,ALL ACROSS THA UNITED STATES IS OTHER SO CALLED CHOLOS THAT TERM FOR THEM FOLKS IS OLD, BUT STRIGHT UP NIGGA COME TO THE WEST COST AND SEE WHATS POPIN THEN FOOS IS THE ONLY ONES AND I SAY IT AGAIN THE ONLY ONES THAT GIVE A NIGGA COMPETITION ON THE STREET AND IN THE JAIL SYSTEMS, THEM FOOLS IS WILD, AND IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SPANISH SPEAKING ONES IM TALKING ABOUT THE ONES WHO SPEAK ENGLISH, THEM ESES DONT EVEN LIKE THE SPANISH SPEAKNG MEXICANS THEY DONT CONSIDER THEMSELFS THAT, IM NOT ON THEY DICK BUT IM FROM LOS ANGELES NIGGA AND ITS A FUCKEN WAR ZONE HERE WITH US AND THEM, JUST SO YOU KNOW NIGGA ALL THAT SHIT YOU SEE ON THEM NIGGAS ON M.SNBC IS TRUE AND REAL, THEY MIGHT NOT RUN SHIT ON THE EAST COST OR THE MID WEST OR THE SOUTH BUT COME TO CALI AND SEE HOW THEY GET DOWN YOU’D CHANGE YOUR WHOLE WAY OF THINKING ABOUT THESE FOOLS, I GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE.

  • yshfdkd

    lloyd banks gay porno > cassidy career

  • prolifik

    Bullshit

  • VAs Landlord

    Dear Byron Crawford: That shit aint cool at all, a man lost his life cuz. And you sit here and try to get a laugh. Fuck you, You bitch ass nigga

  • The truth

    This article was written with the ignorance of a grade school grad. You really posted the word “Cholo” without even knowing for sure what it meant? And why it gotta be a hispanic man on lockdown fucking niggaz? You trying to offend us latin people with poor use of vocabulary and a negative portrail of latin people whether on lockdown or not. You stupid muthafuckaz make me sick!