The gulliest man in hip-hop

One day last year, Cassidy and his weed carrier Desmond Hawkins traveled from Philadelphia to New York to polish some of Swizz Beatz' jewelry, per the terms of Cassidy's contract with Swizz Beatz' Full Surface imprint. While Cassidy was up in the studio doing what he does best, Weed Carrier Hawkins opted to stay in the van and roll a few fatties for the ride home. He was dedicated like that.

Unfortunately, New York's Hip-Hop Police, who stay on top of these things, happened to be trailing the two and busted WC Hawkins with The Bag and a gun Cass had left in the car. Like a good weed carrier should, by definition, WC Hawkins claimed both The Bag and the gun were his - presumably, under the impression that Cassidy would come to bail him out and make it a point to find a woman for him to have sex with after the next show.

Which might actually be a good deal, depending on the quality of said tang.

Sadly, this wasn't to be the case. Possibly because he never received many royalties from either of his wack-ass albums (R. Kelly and Swizz Beatz probably split that), or maybe because he just didn't give a shit, Young Cassidy never bothered to bail WC Hawkins out of jail. So rather than getting his Charlie Hodge on with some likely-underaged white chick in a van somewhere, WC Hawkins ended up getting ethered in the rear by some cholo** in lock-up. You can imagine his disappointment.

So once WC Hawkins was finally released, and once his posterior healed to the point that he could walk more or less normally, he traveled to Philadelphia to confront his former Bag Proprietor. Surely, if Cassidy realized what he had put his own weed carrier through, he'd be compelled to treat the poor bastard to a "full-service" hot tub dance at one of the area's seedier establishments. It was the least he could do for a man who made the ultimate sacrifice a bag handler can make just short of death.

Instead, Cassidy ethered the poor bastard at point blank range, with an AK-47. Or so I've been told. Swizz Beatz, who's got money like that, had his lawyer argue Cassidy's case down to loitering or some such, and he only ended up doing like 9 months in jail. Now he's back on the street and has got a video out talking about how he carries himself in a manner that no one tried to test him in the joint.

Those cholos might be crazy, but they aren't that crazy.

* The TIs at XXL are very adamant that I not write anything that might get them in legal hot water, so I should note that there's a very distinct possibility that not everything in this post happened exactly the way I describe it.

** I picked up this term from last night's rerun of HBO's excellent "Entourage." I'm assuming it means "hispanic person," or possibly "hipanic guy in jail."