Dre Day

He’s a pretty muthafucka. Tall and he’s got good hair. The type of nigga Wesley Snipes had to pull his sword out on and punch a hole in his hand. His name is Dre. No, not the cat from Cali, who drops albums every six years. No, not the other one. The fat one who used to host Yo MTV Raps!, who I last saw in the green room of ESPN’s Cold Pizza. Nah he’s Dre, from Cool and Dre, and something about this Floridian newcomer just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

You see quietly this cat has been really leaving his mark and I’m not just referring to his “Hate It or Love It” ever-growing production discography. Not to be on some US Weekly tip and snitch on a brother’s personal life but why not. Mr. Handsome has gone from twistin’ out the Spanish chick from 106th and Park to becoming Christina Milian’s latest conquest (Say it with me fellas: Lucky Bastard!) He even produced her whole album—the whole fuckin’ album. But you see it’s not just the fact that Dre’s new dime piece (I see you Nick Cannon. Stop rappin’.) might be rockin’ his TS piece one day, it’s that this dude thinks he can have his cake and eat it too.

You see this guy’s supposed to be Mr. Terror Squad but he runs around reppin’ his label Epidemic (he’s got an artist named Dirtbag who rejected Shady to sit on the shelf) and the fucker is technically signed to Violator/Jive. That’s right, Violator. As a VP at Jive, Chris Lighty himself gets a piece of his pie. How are you Fat Joe’s man and you’re in bed with 50′s business co-D? Didn’t Joey Crack put the kid on in the first place? I’d ask Baby “Papoose is mine too” Chris about all this but he’s not really feeling me right now. Maybe my new Busta coverlines were a little too spicy for his taste.

I always thought it was crazy that hit-hungry rappers allowed producers to not take sides in rap beef. What part of the game is that? Isn’t the studio where rappers and their entourages get drunk and high and talk their most insidious shit in and out the booth? You think track masters never gossip over the shit they overhear at a typical rowdy recording session? Yeah, right.

Now let’s put this all in perspective: You’re with Scott Storch in Miami’s Hit Factory EQing a record and a week later he’s with your enemy mixing his 16′s with the hot track you passed up on. That’s like me lettin’ some kid intern for me 3 times a week and the other 2 days of the week he can go be Julia Beverly’s personal intv transcriber and camera holder (there’s a great job!). No way, Jose Cartagena.

But back to the main subject here, this cat Dre and his rap dreams. Dude’s got Pharrell fever and I can’t front—oh I think I like that song about the chick “Naomi” and the other shit with Rick Ross. Both songs are surprisingly good. He’s 2 for 2. They both knock and I can’t knock the hustle… Fuck it, yes I can. In fact, I think I already did.

P.S. Anyone know the whereabouts of Awesome Dre from Awesome Dre and the Hardcore Committee fame? Someone from Detroit, stand up and shoot YN a kite. Alright.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Ah ha, but there’s always the chance you might score with Julia Beverly.

    You don’t get free coca-ina at XXL, do you?

  • bob

    yaknow on one hand i feel what youre sayin about dre. This dude wants to be pharrell more than 50 wants to be ja (i know you like that comment). ?But on the other hand dont be such a hater elliot.

  • wpotewtiy

    u lost me after the 2nd paragraph…

  • http://www.unkut.com Robbie

    Awesome Dre’s first album is a study in classic ignorance (that’s good, crabs), not to mention containing the finest diss record towards the “Space Invader of Rap” ever made (“I Don’t Like You [Kool Moe She]“).

    Last thing I heard from him was an EP in ’94.

  • Ian

    Them boys Cool & Dre have already taken the neptunes place in my opinion. Hate it or love it was one of the best records that came out last year and since then they haven’t been letting up( Say I). These boys are hot right now and as far a production goes they are making a case for hip hop’s future.

  • bob

    neptunes place in history is in tact. Cool and Dre should be called the Biters. Them niggas bite original producers hard. Cool and Dre will never be better than neptunes. Pharrell and Chad changed music. Cool and Dre has had one original hit which was “So Much More”. Pharrell got more talent in his fingernail than cool and dre combined. “Naomi” was just like “Can i have it like that”. Dre was rockin the skater look and shit just like Pharrell. Stop the biting!

  • http://www.myspace.com/Mr_FiTTeDz Edgar Allan Poor

    I Agree Wit Bob….Cop Dat Khaled…Listennnnnn!

  • SKEEZ

    hahahaha big up’s for that one. that shit is funny

  • http://www.ftw.com derek

    Stick to producing, stop biting pharrell & be easy w/ your attitude becuz you will get aten alive in a battle…:)

  • Cuban Link

    You know what fuck the chico.The 2 bithces Im most obbsessed with are Christina Milian and the NEW Spanish chick from 106 & Park, Rocsi.Thank the sweet Lord he hasnt gotten to her yet.