Earlier this week, Tity Boi made the strange announcement that his forthcoming LP Based On A True Story 2: Me Time, or B.O.A.T.S. 2 for short, would be packaged with a cookbook filled with his favorite recipes. According to Chainz, who has suffered “major stomach problems” in the past, he’s been working on changing his eating habits as of late and teamed with a personal chef to come up with health-conscious recipes. Ever the gracious gentleman, he’ll be offering up some of those recipes to fans with his new album. In anticipation of the project, XXL cooked up (get it?) a recipe you might expect in Chainz’s collection, which will hopefully be called From Crinack To Croissants: Tity’s Titillating Recipes.
Golden-Flaked Yams Benedict
A swagged-out take on the classic Eggs Benedict dish, in which slices of smoked salmon and canadian bacon are swapped with gold leaf-covered rare yams and low-fat turkey bacon.
4 soft-boiled purple yams
4 slices of Grade A low-fat turkey bacon
2 tablespoons chopped parsley, for garnish
2 tablespoons 24-karat gold flakes, also for garnish
2 gluten-free English muffins, lightly browned
3 tablespoons fresh-squeezed lemon juice
1 teaspoon triple-distilled white vinegar
4 teaspoon garlic butter
iPod playing “Feds Watching”
2 Pairs Versace sunglasses
1. To make Hollandaise, fill the bottom of a golden goblet with water. Make sure that the goblet is golden. Bring water to a slow simmer, and whisk together lemon juice, garlic butter and white vinegar.
2. Put Versace sunglasses on.
3. Start playing “Feds Watching” on already-cued-up iPod. Play at full volume, and put the song on repeat.
4. Pour lemon juice mixture into a golden bowl. Add hot water, and continue whisking as you slowly add salt to the mixture. Place a lid on the bowl to keep the mixture warm.
5. Take first pair of Versace sunglasses off, and replace with second pair of Versace sunglasses.
6. Dance to “Feds Watching.”
7. Preheat oven. Fill a golden saucepan with 3 inches of water and bring to a simmer, then add white vinegar. Carefully place yams into the pot and allow to cook for 3 minutes. Remove yams from water and set on a golden plate.
8. Dance some more. Take a load off.
9. While yams cool off, brown the turkey bacon in a golden skillet over medium heat, and toast the English muffins on a golden baking sheet in the broiler.
10. Put the first pair of Versage sunglasses on top of the second pair of Versace sunglasses.
11. Spread toasted English muffins with garlic butter, and top each with a slice of turkey bacon, followed by boiled yams. Place both muffins on a golden plate and drizzle with hollandaise sauce. Sprinkle with golden flakes and chives, and serve immediately.