The 15 Most Absurd Lyrics On Action Bronson’s ‘Saaab Stories’

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    Action Bronson’s got a flair for the absurd. Just look at the controversial cover art for his recently released <i>Saaab Stories</i> EP with Harry Fraud, which came out yesterday. But it’s not just Bronson’s willingness to “go there” that makes his rhymes so compelling. It’s the vividness in which he describes such things, making it impossible not to conjure up mental images, often ones you'd rather not. We combed through <i>Saaab Stories</i> for Bronsolino’s most ridiculous remarks. Check ‘em out and peep our review of the EP <a href="" target="_blank">here</a>.
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    “Phone’s tapped so speak Swedish when you call the crib”
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    <h2>“Triple Backflip”</h2>
    “Snap my fingers and they bring the crab/ Wave my hand and they bring the bag/ For your body motherfucker ‘cause you old news’/ And then you see me fucking skip away your boat shoes”
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    <h2>“No Time”</h2>
    “Do a split on my dick/ If I’m sick she’ll even clean me if I shit in my pants, so I’m taking her to France with me”
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    <h2>"The Rockers"</h2>
    “Know I hit you with the dropkick, Marty Janetty”
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    <h2>“Strictly For My Jeeps”</h2>
    “Shit on my chest shoot colors like a Care Bear”
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    <h2>“Strictly For My Jeeps”</h2>
    “Eat steaks of a gold plate, stoned, listening to Coldplay”
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    <h2>“Strictly For My Jeeps”</h2>
    “Now my beard look like Uday and Qusay”
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    “Baby my ride so clean, I ride so dirty/ I’m about to buy an alligator for my birthday”
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    “Orgies at Hofstra, my bank account is like a Polish doctor”
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  • Bronsolino
    "Game 7, Knicks-Heat, me and Spike had to switch seats/ Cause he kept spilling Henny on all my bitch feet.”
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    “My mustache like a Colonel/ Take a hater’s facial and I treat it like a urinal”


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  • swag b

    how did this guy make it?

    • Cocaine Howie

      By being good and original. What a concept nowadays right?

    • ElvisWasAHero2Most

      Dog, this guy is the hook dropper. All the hooks are original, hilarious but at the same time come hard as a mutta: Straight From flushing where we known for using chopsticks/Problems getting dealt with, never pop shit/Hit you with the dropkick, Marty Janetty

      If you grew up in the 90′s, when wrestling was at it’s peak, people were getting shot for sneakers, and real rap ruled the airwaves, then you’ll appreciate Bronson.

    • m

      yo, don’t be ignorant. bronson really stepped up his game on this album.

    • Drew Emmerson

      question is, how did YOU make it, you fucking abortion ?

  • buck_mcqueen

    can’t believe “the finest vaginas demolished by my dick” didn’t make it