IamSu! And Problem Teach You Double Date Etiquette

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If you think California rappers IamSu! And Problem are an unlikely pair—you’re right. While Su is from the Bay, Problem represents the Bay’s SoCal rival city, LA. Still, the two, who met at a video shoot for an E-40 song (“Function”) they were both featured on, “just kind of clicked right away.” IamSu! explains, “It’s just a respect for the talent. It’s a mutual respect.” In the past year, the Cali rhymers have become fast friends, working together on several tracks (many of which feature California-lover Wiz Khalifa), and even joining forces for a collaborative mixtape, February’s Million Dollar Afro.

The duo – who wraps up their 10-stop Million Dollar Afro Tour tonight in NYC with Noisey’s Rap Party—stopped by the XXL offices while in town to chop it up about new music and why there’s no beef between the Bay and LA. And since they’re close comrades in music and more, we decided we’d get their insight on how to win at double-dating. As we walked them through some hypothetical situations, they explained to us how they’d react, and Problem would go on to exclaim, “There’s no such thing as getting lucky.”

Let’s say your friends set you up on a blind double date. You show up, and only one of the females is especially attractive, how do you decide who gets the hot one? 

IamSu!: He’d probably get the hot one. I’m a better wingman.

Problem: If it was a blind date, it really depends… I’ll just say that the different levels of women we attract is crazy.

Okay, so now you’ve settled on your girl for the night, sat down at the dinner table, and suddenly things get quiet and awkward. What are some conversation starters you always rely on? 

IamSu!: Honestly, I’m just an awkward ass person. I might just say some weird shit to not make it awkward.

Problem: I would just ask some very different questions, like, “How long you think before we have sex with each other?” Just to fuck with somebody’s head. And then she’d be like, “Is that all you think about?” No, but we should be attracted to each other. We don’t have to do it right now, but you ask that and you fuck somebody’s head up. Like, you look at someone and be like, “You know I’d fuck the shit out of you right now… but I’m not easy.” Just to throw them off a little bit.

IamSu!: I’m kind of more introverted, I gotta get to know you before I start talking to you like that.

Which one of you would be the more talkative one in general? Who dominates the double date? 

Problem: That depends on what type of alcohol and drugs are around. It also depends on the situation and where we’re at. Like, if we’re in Frisco, we’re going to go out on his vibe. If we’re in LA, we’re going to go out on my vibe. If we’re out here, we’re just going to freestyle it.

IamSu!: In Vegas, freestyle. Houston, freestyle.

Problem: We got a freestyle fellowship.

Alright, dinner’s coming to an end and your server drops the bill. Who’s picking it up? 

IamSu!: He got all the money, so he got it.

Problem: I would pay, depending on the situation…

IamSu!: He’d pay for my shit, and the girl.

Problem: Na, this is what I’m going to do… I’m going to find out where these females’ pockets are at. I’ll say something like, “So y’all got us, right?” And then I’ll see the reaction. If they say yes, I’ll be like, “Na, I got it.” But if they’re like, “Why we gotta pay?!”, it’s over. Why do females think they’re the privileged ones? Fuck you mean? We both should be trying to win each other over. It goes both ways. But, just the way the world works, of course you know I’m going to pay for it.

Let’s assume dinner went really well, and you and your chosen girl are feeling each other. How do you approach getting lucky at the end of the night? 

Problem: There’s no such thing as getting lucky.

Fair enough. How do you guys separate if you’re both getting “lucky”? 

IamSu!: You just feel it out. Especially if it’s one of your homies, you just feel that vibe and you’ll be straight.

Problem: Yeah, you gotta be like, “Alright bro, I think you got action and I don’t, I’m gonna spin off.”

IamSu!: Or if you get that look, it’s just… “Oh it’s time to leave.”

Problem: I’d do some shit like [buzz] “Oh, my CEO said I gotta go. Shit. He needs me, let me get out of here.” Always blame it on somebody else.

IamSu!: You’ll feel it. You’ll know if you should leave.

Problem: You can feel the fuck. If the fuck gon’ happen, you can feel it coming.

Finally, assuming you both got “lucky,” how do you meet up after the fact? 

Problem: I’d just hit him up and be like, “Yo, you done? Alright, let’s go.”