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Clap Back: Rihanna Retaliates Against Chris Brown

On Wednesday, womanizer R&B/pop star Chris Brown unleashed a freestyle, spitting over Kanye West’s “Way Too Cold” (formerly known as “Theraflu”). Brown’s been flirting with his rapping chops for some time, and his bars have proven to hold clout. The record sounded all good, until some subliminal lines very possibly aiming at his ex-girfriend, and fellow pop sensation Rihanna caught the attention of listeners. Take a look at the flagrant bars:

”Don’t fuck with my old bitch, it’s like a bad fur/Every industry n**** done had her/Shook the tree like a pumpkin just to smash her/Bitch is breaking codes, but I’m the password”

Ouch! Breezy must’ve seen his ex’s recent roundabouts. When the news reached Rihanna, she wasn’t having any of it, and soon did the ’12 version of rejection—she unfollowed him on Twitter. But is that it? Is she just going to have her ex-boyfriend run his mouth out in the wild? No, she won’t! *After extensively pursuing her team, XXL was able to get an exclusive listen of RiRi’s diss track. Here’s what we heard:

NOTE: This is completely fictional. It’s unclear whether Rihanna will ever record a diss track against Chris Brown, but we can always hope.

[The instrumental for "Man Down" comes on, and Rihanna exhales a blunt.]

Foolish chump, you forget the shits you’ve done?
Be glad Jay never sent Ty Ty, to make you bye bye.
You mad? That I live the pop life now?
But wait! You can get popped right now!
I got a little two-two, I call it Peggy Sue,
When I catch you, my guards will pull it out they shoes.
I can transform ya, you thought you got it poppin’,
But you stopped every second—when we had it poppin’.
That’s why now I am rocking, with men who use their weapons,
Justin Bieber said he got more goonies than you brethren. (Ah-ha!)
Boy, stop it! You see me, up on movies, making millie, (Battleship coming soon!)
Got goons from Philly to New York City.
Your hair dye looks pissed on, straight clown,
You want to hear a sequel for “Man Down”?
I got you!
But you might have to take it back, and run it,
No Juelz Santana’s going to save you with a budget,
RiRi, does the fuck she wants, believe me,
There’s a reason why they call bitches, Breezies, easy.

[Multiple gun shots, and a Funk Master Flex bomb drops in the end.]


Brrrat-buck-buck-buck! Brrrat-buck-buck-buck! Brrrat-buck-buck-buck! Chris Down!

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