The Voice: How Nicki Minaj’s Inner Conscious Shut Off Her Twitter

As Nicki Minaj rode shotgun on the way to a meeting on Sunday, April 15, with her eyes closed, hoping to catch a moment of peace during the hectic press junket for her sophomore album, a stern voice began to emanate from an unknown place.

“Okay, now Nicki, Nicki, Nicki,” it said in a steady rhythm.

At once, Minaj opened her eyelash-clustered lids. It was happening again, she thought to herself. That voice in her head that wouldn’t go away. What did it want this time?

“Put it in your kidney!” the voice rang out next.

Nicki breathed a sigh of relief. It was only 2 Chainz, and their collaborative single, “Beez In The Trap,” was playing on the radio. At ease, her eyelids became heavy once more.

Just a few minutes later, though, it happened again: “Okay, now Nicki, Nicki, Nicki,” she heard. She knew better than to get worked up this time. I really do run radio, she thought to herself.

“No, Nicki, it’s me,” the voice persisted, making itself known not to be 2 Chainz.

“Roman?” Nicki asked.

“Enough with your questions,” the voice continued. “Check Twitter. There’s a fan site that posted leaked music. Other Twitter users think it’s alright to slander you and your music, without realizing the effect of their words. We can’t let this fly. It’s time for a change.”

“A change?” the Young Money princess asked aloud, eyes still closed, triggering a instance of uncomfortable eye contact between her two passengers riding with her, each of whom assumed the Number-one-charting artist was simply overtired.

“Delete your Twitter,” the voice commanded.

“What about my Barbz?!” Nicki exclaimed with angst, magnifying the moment of confusion for those around her.

“If they love you, they’ll love you no matter what,” the voice tried to calm its pawn.

Nicki opened her eyes, grabbed her phone, and opened the social media application. She sent out a couple messages, hinting to fans that their digital touch would soon be cut off. None could believe that she would truly step away from the cyber world where she was one of the dozen most popular people around. But just like that, in less time than it took for viewers to scratch their heads at her Grammy performance some two months earlier, she was gone.

The voice exhaled, relieved it was still running the show for one of the world’s biggest pop stars.

*This anecdote is completely imaginary. No factual evidence supports this theory.

  • JIM

    WOW, THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME WITH YOUR “THEORY”

  • Big Meech

    This is totes gay.

  • DON

    This bitch is nuts.

  • das

    PROPOGANDA?

  • truza

    Now what the fuck is this????