NEGRO PLEASE: Bow Wow vs. The Game – Madden ’09 Charity Blowjob Challenge

[Editor's Note: "Blogger's Note" has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]

I was gonna talk about Dame Dash’s broke ass but had a change of heart… I mean, plans.

Apparently, niggas wanna play some damn Playstation.

Earlier this week Lil' Bow Wow went had one of his weed carriers run down to Wal-Mart or wherever to wait on line for one of them limited edition Madden ’09 20th Anniversary jawns. After inflating his ego by forcing his entourage to throw contests/only allowing them to use the Miami Dolphins, Mr. Wow issued a $100,000 challenge to The Game to, well, play games.

Let me not take anything away from The Other Weezy’s Madden skills. He’d allegedly beaten the Bojangle out of Soulja Boy, who only reads Playstation manuals. Shad must be doing something right.

With that much to his credit, Bow Wow need pump the damn brakes on his Power Wheels Hummer, gnome sane? Maybe he’s not aware that there’s a recession, you gnome sane? Flying The Game to Ohio from wherever Eazy-E’s testicles are buried is expensive, gnome sane? Gas prices high than a mawfucka right now, gnome sane? Niggas can do that shit online.

Y’all gnome-ass niggas gnome sane, nigga. This lil nigga Bow Wow say "nigga" and "gnome sane" entirely too damn much, gnome sane my nigga?

Ironically enough, Bow Wow cites L.A.X.’s imminent debut as the reason for $100,000 being "nothing for Game" to put up. I think in all honesty homeboy already realizes that album sales ain’t shit and that YouTube hits are the real booty involved.

No “John David.”

Via requested medium, The Game not only accepts the challenge but requests to up the ante. Apparently the loser not only has to forefeit $100,000 (that may or may not go to charity) but also has to arrange for Ciara to gorglesnork the winner and his ensemble of merry [Super] Mario wallets.

What the fuck is wrong with Game?

While Game turns the conversation from a video foosball challenge to a perfectly normal Saturday night sleazy Black Wall Street gangbang hour, one of his niggas has the nerve to suggest “me first” when the camera turns his way.

Let’s take some time to introduce that nigga to the rules of this shit here. Even if Ciara could stop pop-locking long enough to suck anyone’s Big Meat, Mr. Weed Carrier doesn’t go first! WC gets whatever STDs the star/manager/star’s real best friend that doesn’t have to take possession charges/manager’s assitant/bodyguard/the guy that holds Game’s laptop leave behind on the subway, you dig?

“Me first?” That’s a “Negro Please” moment in and of itself. This is the kind of nigga who posts "first" on the blogs.

“And you ain’t seen the motherfuckin’ back of the bus.” –The Game

Oh, yes. We have... We just don’t want to go back there.

[Blogger's Note: This Black History Message has been brought to you by "Negro Please" and the United Negro College Fund.]

If Game wins I don’t know how he plans to collect his sausage rinse. Last I checked, Bow Weezy and Corey weren’t together anymore. I think I saw her trying to work for Diddy.

I’m joking, people. Relax. I heard Ciara’s dick isn’t big enough to qualify her as a dude.

If he really wanted to keep it funky he could have made that crack about Angela Simmons, but I suppose “RUN DMC” is a name he still plans to safely drop in the future.

I don’t know who would watch these niggas do what they do when they smoke out in Bow Wow’s play room, but hey. If $100,000 will be going to some inner-city pickaninnies, I’m with that. I won’t watch. But I’m all about the end result.

Somehow I think the proceeds will be finding their way to the Shad Moss Bathing Ape Foundation, but that’s just me.

Much like a tight round of Street Fighter II: Champion Edition, this one’s a Double KO of Negro Please-dom.

Bow Wow needs to just turn his day room into a full-time casino. Get the players all fucked up and take their money somehow, like a Ferengi.

While Ciara is totally a rapster jumpoff of the highest order, Game needs to leave the skeezers alone. It wasn’t a good look the last time he took off on the Wondercheekses of the world. It’s an even worse look today.

Not only does he come off as a misogynistic asshole who both fears and hates his own mama, but if Black Wall Street wants to take some Crying Game chances they might as well just buy out accept free drinks at a bar on Christopher Street and see what sticks.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Gnome sane? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: Game, unless you want to end up holding your head like Lil' Wayne, don’t eat the brownies when you get to Bow Wow’s.

[Addendum: I just found this. Bow Wow goes back in on Game, his old tour bus and offers to put up gas money! It's like the little nigga read my mind. That's some Like Mike magic there.

These niggas REALLY should have talked to Madden first like geico lizard said.

Even a caveman could have went and got that money!

Nigga said he want MYA! These niggas is out of control.

"Floyd Mayweather on the Joysticks" earns Bow Wow whatever Nullus-related sentiment comes his way.]