“Love & Hip-Hop: New York” Recap: The Fallout Begins

I'm seriously convinced that Mona Scott-Young is in an underground bunker with Dick Cheney, waiting for the end of days to come, because as an end result of this ratchet mess of a show, there is no way that she would be allowed to live in peace were she ever to be found on the street.

So...in this week's ratchetry (it's a word, I checked), we have your choice of idiocy:

• Jen the Pen and Consequence's baby-sitter search, where more than one baby-sitter looked like they would be the type to be one of those "have Daddy pork me while Mommy's at work" on-the-low chicks, or
• "Richard" Dollaz getting told by everyone and his mother (literally!) to cut Erica Mena loose.

Since I'm all about kicking an Angry Bird when she's down, I'm going to go for option two. For one, I refuse -- refuse -- to believe that Richard had no idea about Erica's dirty reputation, especially since, in previous episodes, he made allusion to the infamous "kicking the baby daddy in the throat" video (or, at the very least, was around to witness the histrionic fallout of Erica being confronted about it). Rather, I'm under the impression that Richard's mother, Jewel, hit the nail right on the head when she said that he needs to start thinking with the (cough) other head. While there are plenty of instances where mixing business with pleasure goes right, this "relationship" between Erica and Richard is definitely not one of those cases.

Meanwhile, Kaylin and Tahiry -- who looked like the Wicked Witch of the West in this episode -- met up for the first time since the fight. And Kaylin, bless her mohawked little self, was the one who apologized to Tahiry...even though Tahiry was 100 percent in the wrong. There was no real resolution of this fight, except to say that Kaylin came out winning, whereas Tahiry looked like a bitter ex-girlfriend who still can't get over the fact that her ex has, indeed, moved on without her.

Then we have the "resolution" of the fight between Mandeecees and Maurice. You may remember that last week, Maurice posted a photo of his "cousin" Yandy's butt on Instagram (ew...), causing Mandeecees to pick his hands up to him. After a series of disagreements with Yandy -- and a shopping and gossiping trip with Vado, of all people -- Mandeecees delivered a half-hearted apology to Maurice.

Finally, we bore witness to a "reading" of Winter Ramos' wannabe-Superhead book, Who The Hell Are You, And Why The Hell Are You Sleeping Your Way To The Bottom? Aside from the fact that the "reading" had a grand total of five people in the audience, Winter read her book from her iPhone. What part of the game is this? And for all her claims of being Lore'l's friend, she sure had no problem making her look -- and feel -- like living crap by claiming she "slept with all of these millionaires and got no money"...as if it's a bad thing, necessarily. Winter, are you aware of the term used to describe women who sleep with men for the sole purpose of obtaining money? I'll give you a hint: It's not complimentary, it's not a career aspiration, and it's used to describe you.

And to all the rappers who are getting "exposed" in this book (which I refuse to believe is legitimate until I receive evidence to the contrary): Sorry, but you deserve it. What made you think your secrets would be safe with her?

Until next week, cats and kittens... - Bernadette Giacomazzo (@bgiacomazzo)