Come to think of it, Momma Flocka Flame does look like she could be one of those butch female pimps.

When I was in high school, I used to watch those HBO documentaries on pimps. There was one directed by the Hughes brothers, the light skinted fellows who directed Menace II Society, and whatever it is they've done since, and there was at least one, if not a few of them produced by HBO that may have been even better. Because of course HBO had a better understanding of the needs of their audience. I'm not gonna lie, I might have fapped to one of those documentaries at some point in time or another, if there was a good scene of some crack ho walking the strip with her ass and boobs hanging out of her clothes. That's what it was like back in the 1990s: you made due with what you had. Kids these days don't realize just how good they have it.

It didn't necessarily make sense that there could be such a thing as a female, since you'd think that any guy pimp would be able to beat the shit out of them and take all of their hoes, but, as explained in those documentaries, that's just not how it works in the world of pimping. Pimps, you see, are like samurai: they have a certain code that they live by. They might enslave underage girls, get them hooked on drugs and force them to sell their pussies, but there's certain things they just don't do. All they have is their balls and their word, and they don't break them for nobody. Or was that from the movie Scarface?

As I recall, it was ultimately up to the ho to decide which pimp she wanted to be exploited by. If one of a pimp's hoes decided she wanted to be exploited by another pimp, he respected that decision. Er, to the extent that you could respect a decision made by a ho. That just meant there was some deficiency in his pimping. Getting pissed off at the other pimp. And so a female pimp could put together a stable of hoes without worrying about some guy pimp coming along, kicking the crap out of her, and taking all of her hoes. All she had to be was tougher than any of her hoes, in case one of them got out of line. Hence how scary some of those bitches were. If necessary, I could still kick any of their asses, being a guy and all, but I'd have to be sober and on my a-game, and when is that ever the case?

Of course the reason I bring this up is because that's the only logical explanation I could come up with as to why 5-0 supposedly pulled akickdoe on Wacka Flocka Flame's house, on a tip that there was prostitution going on there. I think I also read, on DJ Vlad's Twitter (nullus), where I get a lot of my news these days, that they were also looking for drugs, but I'm assuming that's just because they heard that the house they were searching belonged to someone named Wacka Flocka Flame, and they figured they'd better sweep the place for drugs as well. Of course they did end up finding some drugs. Honestly, I'd be disappointed in Wacka Flocka Flame if the police raided his house and didn't find any drugs. The guy's a protege of Gucci Mane, fer chrissakes. What exactly they found and how much of it they found I'm not sure. But I'm always interested to hear what kind of drugs these rappers have on them, since the last few hip-hop busts seem to have turned up the kind of shit you might have found in my car back when I used to work in the barbecue industry. What happened to the days when rappers just smoked blunts and drank 40s? That might be why the music's not any good.

Wacka Flocka Flame. of course, wasn't anywhere near his own house. (He might not be able to find it.) Momma Flocka Flame sounds like she might have been there, but she somehow managed to avoid going to jail, but Gucci Mane, who it seems wasn't there (and I'm not sure why he would be), did end up getting arrested. Hmm... It makes you wonder how much these cops know about Wacka Flocka Flame, other than the fact that he has a goofy name. Someone get them a copy of that time he was on BET explaining to the audience of 106 & Park the importance of making it to the polls on election day. There's no way he could be running a successful prostitution ring out of his house. He's big enough to beat the shit out of ho (notice how he seems to dwarf Gucci Mane in recent pictures of the two of them), but I'm sure they could easily take advantage of his, erm, lack of intellectual ability. I don't care whose house it was. Momma Flocka Flame is obviously the one in charge.

That is, if there is a prostitution ring run out of Wacka Flocka Flame's house. It could just be that there was a lot of hoes there, like there would be at my house, if I were a famous rapper. You know 5-0 likes to catch a black man doing something that's kinda illegal and accuse him of doing some shit that's extremely illegal. For all we know, Wacka Flocka Flame might not have been pimping hoes any more than Wiz Khalifa was distributing marijuana.