Let’s talk about sex.
From the early days of hip-hop, the subject has frequently made its way into rap music and because, well, sex sells, it’s continued to be a hot topic that often finds its way into rap lyrics. Due to the machismo that's embedded in the genre, rappers are mostly reserved to bragging about all the gratuitous sex they have and how award-worthy they are at it.
While that seems to be the majority, there are some artists who are willing to keep it funky about their acts of fornication, including the unflattering times that didn’t make the cut on their greatest hits list. As we all know, sex doesn’t always look like the sultry R-rated scenes in the movies and can range from the good, bad, ugly and everything in between.
Most sexual rap songs tell a different story. Intimate rap tunes like LL Cool J’s “Doin’ It,” Gucci Mane’s “Freaky Gurl” or the situation described on the chorus of Trillville’s “Some Cut” (and it's suggestive bed-creaking instrumental) show one side of things but very few artists dig deeper.
Over the years, there have been some rappers like J. Cole, Nas, Cam'ron, Kanye West and more willing to tell a hilarious story about a sexual encounter or give a cautionary tale that is at the same time revealing, entertaining and in some cases full of nostalgia. Yet smooth and suave these are not.
XXL rounds up some of the most awkward rap songs about sex.
As many can attest, "the first time" is awkward as hell. You’re nervous, second-guessing yourself. It’s a life-changing experience to say the least. Jermaine Cole raps about losing his virginity on this fictional, charmingly awkward 2014 Forest Hills Drive track.
It happens to all of us guys. You wake up from a good night’s rest only to find Sgt. Sausage standing at attention. What's a rapper to do? 88-Keys lays out the scenario on this hilarious track from his concept album, The Death of Adam.
"I Just Had Sex"Lonely Island Featuring Akon
While the first time can be extremely awkward, the post-game realization that you’ve figuratively become a man (or woman) can be an exhilarating experience and possibly worth telling some friends. Or, if you are LI and Akon, brazenly announcing it to the world.
A master storyteller, Nas waxes poetic about his countless acts of coitus, from dimes to deuces, noteworthy to forgettable. What's most awkward is the anatomical vocabulary ("She used to try to eat my excrement") that Nasty Nas drops.
There are consequences to having unprotected sex and one of them involves potentially catching more than just feelings. Flee spells out the sad truth about what happened to him on his STD PSA.
Yeezy raps about having one of the strangest conversations about the birds and the bees with his then-unborn son via his Late Registration track.
"And I vow that my child will be well-endowed/Like his daddy/And tell him that your mama had a fatty/He looked up at me said, 'Daddy that's the reason why you had me?'/Yep! We was practicing/'Til one day your ass bust through the packaging/You know what though? You my favorite accident"
Can you say scarred for life?
"I Hit It First"Ray J Featuring Bobby Brackins
Ray J throws a petty party and subliminally boasts about bedding Kanye's wife, Kim Kardashian, before him. Uh, congrats? The song, it's pixelated artwork and video (complete with a Kim lookalike) is the grown-up version of "Na-na, na-na, boo-boo!"
Esco turns into a general practitioner on getting the panties and lays out the dos and don'ts when it comes to hitting the skins. We're pretty sure these aren't Surgeon General approved.