RiFF RAFF Reviews ‘The Purge’ For XXL

So RiFF RAFF reviews movies for us now, and after taking on a romantic drama (The Great Gatsby) and an action flick (Fast & Furious 6), we had Jody dip his toes into the world of horror. Raking in $34.1 million at the box office The Purge—made for just $3 million—blew away its competition in its first weekend in theaters. Obviously, we had to see what all the buzz was about, so we sent RiFF RAFF to the movies earlier this week to find out just what happens in this futuristic world where all crime is legal for 12 hours once a year. Would RiFF partake in The Purge if it was real? Find out below.

On whether he generally likes scary movies:

"Yes, I like scary movies such as Look Who's Talking Now and No Retreat, No Surrender."

On what he'd do if all crime were legal for 12 hours:

"I would take a 200-gallon Versace trash bag from the Versace store and leave $5,000 at the register becuz I assume the cashier would be off doing crime stuff. Then I would go to a 7-11 and get the biggest Banana Berry iCEE Slushie in the history of ALL iCEE Slushies."

On what went through his head when the kid disabled the security system:

"I was like 'OK, this kid isn't going to Harvard.'"

On what kind of home security system he has:

"Why don't I just give you my house keys and social security number while I'm at it?"

On what he would have done in Ethan Hawke's position:

"I would have asked Kevin Bacon when Tremors is coming out on IMAX."

On what his weapon of choice would be in a situation like The Purge:

"Brass knuckles made out of Funyuns."

On his favorite part of the film:

"When all the cast members got their paychecks for $7.8 million each and Kevin Bacon, oops, I mean Hershey Hawkins got paid more. Then only some of the cast members watch the movie in theaters and some just go to other casting calls, and some play pencil break with their tits until their agent finally gets them some backup role in a Swedish indie film festival hostage situation."

On his favorite Ethan Hawke movie: 

"Reality Bites and Tremors."

On how he deals with neighbors like the ones in the film:

"I don't have neighbors. I just bought a tropical island and even my pilot is violent and she plays a violet violin."

On whether he actually liked The Purge:

"Yes, I like seeing anyone be successful and do big things like make a movie and have it in theaters becuz I'm not a hater, I'm a Versace navigator."