Kid Cudi Whines About XXL Cover, Clearly Belongs on Kanye West’s Label

"It’s just politics; they didn’t put me on that cover because I didn’t have a major deal. That’s just what it was. That’s my opinion. I don’t have nothing against XXL, I know the game. I probably shouldn’t be even saying this but day by day, every interview I do, 90% of the time I never say what I want to say. So f**k it. I’m going to say what I want to say and I felt like I should have been on that cover and not when you open it up, all up in the crease and s**t man. If you read the round table interview I’m one of the one’s doing most of the talking; me and Wale." –Kid Cudi, AllHipHop.com interview

Who are the ten best freshmen of 2009? Kid Cudi, Kid Cudi, Kid Cudi, Dylan, Kid Cudi…

I can think of 15 talented up-and-comers who email and Twitter spam the religion out of my life but didn’t make that cover at all. These niggas can look at their life’s work, wonder if it will ever get them out of the proverbial single-mom’s basement and be forced to stare at Ace Hood for their troubles. Yet Cudi complains about merely being inset.

For fucking shame.

Sounds like somebody done drank the Kool-Aid at Kanye’s house. Maybe there was a little too much "Maui Wowie" in the bowl? A nigga was already worried about Cudi’s music coming out sounding like Kanye Lite Presents: Roland Kicks & Lovesickness, but now I see that 2009 is in store for a matching swollen ego. We might just have two deranged Eddy Curry masturbators at next year’s Negro Please Awards… with matching skinny jeans around their ankles.

I’m no expert on the particulars of politics surrounding how preferred placement on magazine covers and record pools is secured *screws face*, but I do know that uppity freshmen get swirlies after lunch period. That’s just a little conventional wisdom for the neophytes. [Blogger’s Note: That’s also alliteration, holmes!]

The public won’t be as quick to "Embrace the Martian" when they find little Marvin acting all L. Ron Hubbard crazy before so much as an album release. I can’t quite identify what these Studio B chicks is putting in homeboy’s tank, but you’re supposed to have been around for a little longer before you start making a stink about accolades and magazine covers, aren't you?

Maybe there’s an actual music-related reason Cudi’s all up in the crease and shit like Jarome Iginla? Maybe they didn’t like his sweater? Maybe they didn’t want to scare the children with that fearsome Teenage Mutant Hipster Turtle jumpkick? Maybe all that Tae-Bo shit made him miss the Wale/B.O.B./Asher Roth/Charles Hamilton brosephine huddle? How the fuck is anyone outside that closed conference room door supposed to know?

If it’s all really so fucking disturbing, that’s what scissors and Elmer’s Glue are for. You can be A Kid Named Cut-n-Paste. Go on ahead. Cut the undeserving rapster out. Shellac your favorite portrait in. See how much better it feels.

Sometimes I superimpose my face on Jay-Z's body when I see pictures of him gallivanting with Beyonce. Other times I'm putting sombreros on Tyler Perry for having a media empire the likes of which our world would be better off were I sole proprietor. It's fun and saves me a bundle in therapy costs. I recommend the shit between tokes.

As far as the comment about holding one’s tongue goes, I can’t say I don’t understand what it’s like to wanna fully let loose. However, in the world of content development, the nigga doing most of the talking is usually the nigga getting the least done. On the same coin, the nigga speaking most isn't necessarily the one with most to say. That’s more conventional wisdom foe dat azz.

Negro, please. A Kid Named Cudi is a very solid mixtape. It’s a good listen with some incredible highs, i.e.: current UK chart-topper “Day N Nite.” I actually dig the spacier, sing-songy, melody-driven cuts more than the ones on which he tries to go Brooklyn hard. It’s cool to find a healthy balance upon which to make songs and all, but this nigga actin like he invented the wheel when all we got is one strong mixtape.

Shit. Saigon has at least one of those and he was a top-10 freshman back in like 2001.

Let that Man on the Moon shit be what he and Kanye think it’s gonna be, then dudesicle can come back and complain about whichever front covers his glorious image should grace.

No, wait. Actually niggas should shut the fuck up then too.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Wanna help me pick out Kid Cudi’s arranged battle partner and opponent? We can totally WWE this shit. ron@ronmexicocity.com