Bone Thugs -N- Harmony Smoke Up K-Fed and Vanilla Ice?

K-Fed and Vanilla Ice sound like the street names of whatever they had to be smoking to do a clip like this.

Once my favorite rap group, the Brothers Bone have taken my undivided loyalty and parted it more times than they did their own hair in the 90s. I have nothing against writing songs for checks. If tricks is payin, we’s bout gittinnat mawfuck’n mwoney, lil’ daddy. However, the effects of some forms of degradation can’t bear a price tag.

Promoting projects with Kevin Federline and Vanilla Ice means Bone Thugs -N- Whore-moany just received the boarding passes for their one-way trip to VH1 Sober House--just slightly off-course for the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame that resides in their native Cleveland.

I understand that you’ve gotta have confidence in your songwriting abilities, but these sherm & perm-offenders used to be multi-platinum errr time out. Yet, they couldn’t give their last few albums away free with the purchase of two red-tops on St. Clair. How the fuck they gonna make Kevin Federline platinum any-fuckin-thing?

K-Fed couldn’t go aluminum when he was scrotum-deep in Britney Spears. His "PopoZao" bullshit won’t do any better with BTNH caroling about weed entirely too strong for human consumption on the chorus.

You know the weed too damn strong when all you can do is hit it and look at the 1st of tha Month video on YouTube for 45 got damn minutes.

[Blogger’s Note: That’s my Katt Williams for the day.]

If nothing else, this otherwise baffling video helped me straighten out some hip-hop history. I kept forgetting the original Bone Thugs -N- Harmony lineup. I 100% remember now. It’s Krayzie, Bizzy, Wish, Flesh & Max B.

Speaking of roster adjustments, didn’t Bone kick Bizzy out the group for trying to make drinkable Crystal Meth or some shit? What the fuck do these niggas think they look like when they start working with Kevin Federline? I hope the stoner shop quartet is aware that by working with K-Fed, they sink a full step below Bizzy Bone’s collaboration with Joker Da Bailbondsman, which they clearly endorsed.

Ain’t nothin' like Sherman in a Ziploc bag. Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh!

I’m so used to Flesh-N-Bone being in prison that seeing him in daylight is a much welcome surprise. Fucking with Federline isn’t exactly going to curtail the recidivism risk. If this is where Bone Thugs –N- Harmony is at in their career, it might not be far from mask and glove time again.

Does anyone have as hard a time as I trying to picture 5 Hard&B sangers in Carhart everything as crack dealers, master thieves and urban crime novel assassins? Flesh has helped me believe in the whacked-out choir boy gulliness, but the vision still seems a tad lofty at times.

Where the fuck is Wish Bone? Is he on the toilet? I done told niggas about fuckin with that Taco Bell. I used to bust down that .69-cent bean burrito all the damn time in college. The shit is not advised. Don’t come crying to me when you miss your chance to pose with Brian Austin Green in the student center.

[Blogger’s Note: When your homeboy comes back from prison and tells you that you gotta blow some nutmeg with him because it’s the shit and it got him hella high in the joint, do yourself a favor. Remind that institutionalized-ass nigga that he can get some actual vagina now and that he doesn’t have to pretend and that the same principle applies to getting blented.]

Questions? Comments? Requests? Love E. 1999 Eternal as much as I do? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: Negro Please @ Ron Mexico for thinking Bone Thugs might have the dignity to sidestep projects like these.

P.P.S.: I KNOW I wasn't the only one watching UnCut on The Negro Channel at 3AM before the network decided to develop a semblance of conscience.