Ghostwriter

So I had this brilliant idea that I was gonna take a break from flaunting my formidable Jay-Z interview filler, and do a definitive post of who wrote what on Puffy's new album Press Play. Shit, for the past year or so all the big dogs from Lil Wayne to Common where rumored to be lending bars to the lyrically-impaired Bad Boy boss man. Yeah I know you can feel the power of Pharoahe Monch throughout "The Future," but I was curious about the pen game behind the other succulent sections.

So just like any other Joe Schmo, I dropped dough at the local Best Buy (Muthafuckas who bless y'all hearts still buy CDs take note: Their store chain contains a whole bonus disc with just one song: the dancing-machine-in-all-of-else-ready, Harlem shake-fest "Get Off.") I even bought the other packaged version with extended album artwork just to show off for the salesladies (Who says YN doesn't support the culture?) So I just ripped off the packaging off my CD and if you like me you readin' the credits right now…but I be goddamn…this tiny-ass blue lettering is giving me a fuckin' headache. Who approved the point size on this muthafucka? Guess Puff's not gonna make it easy to figure out who hit him with the John Stockton assists on this one. Still I'm goin' in, for the sake of hip-hop, I gots too.

OK track two. The one he rhymes over "Shaft in Africa." Jayceon Taylor. The Game is in the building. Wonder if he wrote the hook? LOL. Any way one listen to the first verse and it's all Chuck Taylor (FYI all the album's lyrics are available on diddy.com but once again the tiny-ass chicken stratch is pure migraine material.) I'll do y'all the favor: "As my Daytons spin low rider sittin' low/Hittin' corners so hard you can taste my rims/Hard top, 6-4…" Okay, that's the G-Unit runaway.

T.I.'s on "Wanna Move." Rick Ross on "Partners For Life." But still no D'Wayne Carter and Lonnie Lynn to be found. In fact, eight songs list someone named Leroy Watson. VOCAL ARRANGEMENT FOR DIDDY BY LEROY WATSON. Sounds like a fancy way to say this dude is Puff's ghostwriter. Well I can't prove it (wink, wink) but I'm pretty sure it's Puff's young protégé Aasim.

We like dude over here at the Double X. He's been doin' his thing in the Big Apple underground since before and after he broke bread with Combs. We named him one of our Show and Prove All Stars back in 2004 and big homie Jefferson Mao has kept the kid shining in his monthly column from time to time. So you see what all the critics and pleasantly surprised rap listeners are missing is the real reason why Puffy's new CD clearly doesn't suck. I got three words for y'all: All Hail Aasim!