A video clip of Canibus breaking out a notepad to help him in his battle against Dizaster went viral over the weekend with many hip-hop fans mocking the lyricist for daring to pull out a written rhyme during a freestyle.

In an open letter on his Tumblr account, Canibus attempted to explain the reason for doing what he did and follow with an apology to all those involved, especially his fans.

“The day of the battle my memory and mental state wasn’t 100% due to these circumstances,” Can-I-bus began writing. “I knew this, so I brought my copybook to practice the 30 plus pages of infinite rhymes that I had structured for Dizaster. The stitches in the back of my head were hurting me and my shoulder was killing me, but The Ripper doesn’t need medication, he controls pain with his mind.

“The fans paid money, as did the KOTD staff, so even though there was nothing left in my mental tank, I reached for what is now the infamous notepad and decided to read my infinite rhymes,” he added. “Needless to say, the results were underwhelming and it didn’t look right, but now, realizing the actions that preceded the event I’m sure you all understand.”

He closed out the statement by issuing apologies to all those involved.

“Firstly, I want to apologize first to ‘Subject 10’ whose vehicle I abandoned when the agents were approaching me. Secondly, I’d like to apologize to Supernat because I made him come support me and stand behind me for that embarrassment. Thirdly, I’d like to apologize to all The Rippers in attendance who I let down. Finally, I’d like to apologize to Dizaster and the entire KOTD staff. I tried my best and stood there like the solider I am, but there was nothing I can do. As I said in the event, I could only do what I can do. For everyone who seems to be making a mockery out of my just- Remember this; dinosaurs once ruled the planet, Rome was once a powerhouse, The Blazers drafted Greg Oden, and every dog has its day. Doubt me and you will be defeated.”—Jakinder Singh