Freestyles & Free Throws: The 2010-2011 NBA Lyrical Breakdown

Last night the National Basketball Association kicked off its 65th season and b-ball fans across the world are excited by this year’s headlines. First, there’s LeBron James and Chris Bosh taking their talents to South Beach to play alongside Dwayne Wade on the Miami Heat. Then, after winning their second straight championship, Kobe Bryant and the L.A. Lakers are on a hunt for the three-peat, while the Boston Celtics (who signed the aging Shaquille O’Neal) look to return to the NBA Finals once again this year.

Among some of the biggest basketball fans are rappers like, Lil Wayne, Joe Budden, Game and Skyzoo—who are known to name-drop pro ballers in their rhymes constantly. So, in honor of the 2010-2011 NBA season, analyzed a few key rap lyrics pertaining to the game’s current crop of stars and broke down the statistical meaning. We’re playing basketball, y’all! — Kai Acevedo, Ralph Bristout, Adam Fleischer & Rob Markman

“And you can suck my wings/Stand on my money head-butt Yao Ming,” Lil Wayne, “Ignorant Shit

Damn, Wayne. We know you’ve got good balance—what, with your ability to make songs that we can party to, smoke to, and play for the ladies—but this just seems outright difficult. Most reports have Weezy standing at a solid 5’6”, while lists Yao (who is in his eighth season) at 7’6”. Our research shows that a six-inch stack of Benjamins amounts to $150,000. Thus, it would take four of those to make up the two feet the Young Money leader is missing to deliver that head-butt. Technically, he’d need to stand on those stacks with both feet, so now we’re up to eight stacks. But to ensure the necessary stability to launch into a full-fledged head-butt, Weezy would probably need to stand on at least four sets of six-inch stacks, set up perpendicularly to his feet, per foot. If you’re keeping up, that’s a total of thirty-two stacks of $100 bills, which in turn equals $4.8 mill. We’re guessing he’d be able to pull this off after all.

“Got a million dollars say LeBron don’t win a ring. I know Kobe/I be on the floor ‘Kobe!’ You know a nigga that could score 81? Show me,”Game, “Bulletproof Diaries”

True, true. LeBron James wasn’t able to win a ring with the Cleveland Cavaliers. So, as we know, he took his talents to South Beach and is ready to chase one there. He’s aligned with a couple of other superstars out in the M-I-Yayo and it seems like Bron’s got a pretty nice shot this year. An 8/5 shot, to be exact, according to If Game is still betting on Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers to repeat as NBA champs this year then his odds are sitting at 5/2. Put a mil’ on that, you’ll get a cool $2.5 million back if L.A. three-peats in June.

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  • t money

    I stay in New York, but never was the fan of the Knicks. -Big L

  • El Tico Loco

    Jay vs Joe Budden “pump it up freestyle”


    “Maybe I’m not the Mike Jordan of the mic recordings/Hovi you Kobe maybe you Tracy McGrady/ matter of fact you a Harold Miner/JR Ryder washed up on marijuana/ Even worse you a Purvis Ellis/ you worthless/ fella you ain’t no athlete ya Shawn Bradley”.


    “you a Tyus Edny/ I’m a standout like yao ming/ I’m what’s sparkin now/ like fallback Shaq/ I’m starting(er) now/ boys poppin it/ toys poppin spit/ I’m not from these parts I’m Stojakovic/ let me hear your man say I’m the Jordan of rappin/ he’s gettin fatigued girly his scorin is lackin/ his legacy is ruined and you don’t want that/ so pretty much learn from him don’t come back”

    • Fuerte

      For Joe Budden’s lyrics, it is “I’m starting now,” referencing the All-Star Game when Yao got all those votes from China to start the game, rather than Shaq.