Ain’t Got Time For Gamez

01-02/mike_jones/main.jpgMike Jones is due to perform his new single “Flossin’” live before a nationwide audience in mere minutes, but right now he’s sitting slumped on the floor in the greenroom of a Los Angeles television studio with his head in his hands. Standing over him are three men in black, licking their lips, shifting from one foot to the other as they try to figure out how to ingratiate themselves to a 25-year-old rapper who’s done something they admire greatly—establish a brand identity worth millions.

Yes, these MIBs—representatives from one of Hollywood’s most powerful talent agencies—all want a piece of Mike Jones. They probably don’t know the difference between candy paint and candied yams, but the fact that Jones has turned his own common and regular-sounding name into a trademark catchphrase makes them salivate. They’re not the only ones; the next 24 hours will witness a proverbial deluge of outside interest flooding the rarified territory of one of today’s hottest rappers. All because Mike Jones, in the space of one year, has gone from being “major without a major deal” (as the Swishahouse slogan used to go) to being a major deal unto himself—a man with a Reebok shoe contract, a show mooted at MTV, his own Ice Age Entertainment label and, most enticing of all, a major motion picture in the works.

“Do you like sports?” ventures one of the pasty-faced agents.

Mike stares past the MIB’s kneecaps before finally responding, “Basketball is my first love.”

“Well,” says the agent, perking up, “we’ve got a whole bunch of basketball scripts on option!”

01-02/mike_jones/1.jpgAs the agent rabbits on about how one of these projects might be a good fit, Mike looks up and asks him, “Hey, man, where’d you get that suit?”
The agent takes the bait and begins detailing the origin of his tailor-made pinstripe garment. The other agents chime in to compare clothes, as Mike Jones, a small private grin on his face, gets up from the floor and heads for the door.

The suits, the streets and TRL types alike have caught a Mike Jones jones this year; and the Houston MC’s been there with the fix. Besides his ubiquitous mixtape-to-mainstream smash “Still Tippn’,” and its follow-up “Back Then,” Mike’s numerous 2005 high points include hi-pro collabos like “Badd” with the Ying Yang Twins; “Joy,” the Timbaland track Missy Elliott chose to lead off her album The Cookbook; and the underground heater “Show Your Tattoos” with Houston’s own Tow Down. Mike’s only misstep (depending on how you feel about two grown men making a song called “Naked”) was his verse on the remix of Marques Houston’s fluffy slow jam. Of course, then there are the million–plus of you who own Who Is Mike Jones? the album.

Despite, or perhaps because of all this success, Mike projects an intriguing combination of genuine self-effacement (“Me going platinum is a shock… I always prayed for this, but a lot of stuff I’m like, ‘Who, me?’”) and defiant pride (“Lot of people didn’t believe Mike Jones could do what he did—I done it!”), all the while retaining a friendly, down-to-earth charm. When asked about his recent experience on the road on 50 Cent’s Massacre Tour, he singles out the stop in Buffalo—not because of the show, but for being the birthplace of his favorite finger food: “I was like, ‘Damn! This is where they actually make buffalo wings!’”

  • http://xxl Just Blizzle

    Mike jones blows he’s a straight gimmick rapper just another one of those gay southern rappers who uses his damn teeth to sell records
    1 luv
    outta 408 & 817
    Just Blizzle

  • cee1024

    u nigga just hatin on mike jones because all u north rappers are wack then have the nerve to say the south aint got good rappers I bet any of them wack ass albums sell down here

  • bluerid

    i aint got time to play games neither marshall so what the fuck u waiting for.im ready to go.

  • http://XXL Brenda

    Mike Jones is just GAY!

  • Jay Hood

    Who? Mike Jones? damn duke is straight a vet already. Shit i think WHO IS MIKE JONES? should be the best album ever. Mike Jones ain´t for play, his grillz is straight like that. And his song Cuttin´ with Magno and Cuttin´ remix really knocks shit off, fo´realz.
    He´s like, Nigga u got a drank well pour it up, U claim a set then throw it up. Man i´ve been pourin’ and pourin’ er’time that i’m sippin’ on some drank. Mike Jones is the best thang outta H-town right now.

  • http://XXL Brenda

    Who? Mike Jones. Who? Mike Jones that is STUPID and WHO wants to hear Mike Jones now. Back then they didn’t want me know I’m HOT! THEY ARE ALL ON ME. THAT’S STUPID MIKE JONES ISN’T EVEN HOT!!!

  • brittany

    MiKE J0NESZ iSZ MAH BABY DADDY YA`LL ..

  • http://XXL Brenda

    mik3j0n3s is gay

  • http://XXL Brenda

    mik3j0n3s is gay and stupid

  • http://david.a.parkernavy.mil chevyp

    yeah

  • Bangin In Little Rock

    Man Mike Jones keep doing ya thug. We been bangin da screw since 92′ in “The Rock”. We still sippin lean and smokin dat skunk. I still listen 2 Ballin Underground. Holla at cha nigga pimp…

  • Jersey Boy

    Mike jones cant rap but he knows how 2 get that money

  • t-bone

    mike jones kept on doing your thing you came in the rap games nice keep rapping